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Just coming back to this thread as I had the same problem again, this time with iOS 7.1. It's the most frustrating thing having to restore and manually resync over 7,000 songs.

I've finally come to the conclusion that its an iTunes issue as I had this problem once with iOS 6. I've since changed to MediaMonkey to manage my iPod touch and so far, it hasn't let me down. Music is syncing as it should, when I want it to. If I only want to add one or two songs, I just drag them from the library in MediaMonkey to the iPod and its transferred in about 2 seconds.


I agree iTunes has an issue, I had to manually sync, hopefully it will be fixed soon.
 
Same problem here - I've reimaged my iPad, so starting "fresh" with 7.04, try to synch a small subset of my main library (only 4000 tracks) - it just sits on "Preparing to update" forever.

I let it run overnight and I saw this morning it's copying 3-4 tracks at a time, every 2 or 3 minutes :/ At this rate, it would take a week or two to synch just this small part of my library.

So I suspect it's something to do with the database handling in iOS 7.x (i.e., handling large datasets). Same thing did *not* happen in 6.x :(
 
Just found this - my manually managed devices had "sync Music" ticked after one of the recent updates. Clearly a bug as I have always manually managed stuff and never sync-ed anything.
 
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