Need Help with Uneccesary Drama

Beyond Broken

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jan 15, 2009
26
0
Ok, I'll try to make this short and to the point.
I recently met a girl online, lives 1/2 way around the world. We talk everynight on the webcam for 3-5 hours. Every night!. We are basically in love. I am planning on visiting her within 3 weeks. However, there is this other guy who she contacts. She says he's just a friend blah blah blah. Well I dont like him, and he seems to be a real jerk, and he is causing problems. So, should I tell her to either pick him or me, or just let this go.?
 

atmenterprises

macrumors 6502
Jan 28, 2006
281
121
Ok, I'll try to make this short and to the point.
I recently met a girl online, lives 1/2 way around the world. We talk everynight on the webcam for 3-5 hours. Every night!. We are basically in love. I am planning on visiting her within 3 weeks. However, there is this other guy who she contacts. She says he's just a friend blah blah blah. Well I dont like him, and he seems to be a real jerk, and he is causing problems. So, should I tell her to either pick him or me, or just let this go.?
1/2 way around the world? It's not going to work. Distance does not make the heart grow fonder, no matter how many movies you've seen that indicate otherwise. Forget about this girl and find someone local. It's only going to cause you problems in the end. For how long can you afford to fly across the globe to see her?
 

0098386

Suspended
Jan 18, 2005
21,552
2,886
Distance does not make the heart grow fonder, no matter how many movies you've seen that indicate otherwise.
From experience I can't agree with that, although half way around the world is a very long distance.
OP. It will probably not work out. Does this guy live close to her?
 

Paul B

macrumors 6502
Sep 13, 2007
270
0
I assume she's 18+. She's a grown-up, steer her in the right direction by giving her a little advice, but let her take care of her own problems.

There's also a chance she is lying or just being a drama queen.
 

ucfgrad93

macrumors P6
Aug 17, 2007
17,539
8,163
Colorado
1/2 way around the world? It's not going to work. Distance does not make the heart grow fonder, no matter how many movies you've seen that indicate otherwise. Forget about this girl and find someone local. It's only going to cause you problems in the end. For how long can you afford to fly across the globe to see her?
Agreed. The odds are stacked against this working out.
 

Beyond Broken

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jan 15, 2009
26
0
From experience I can't agree with that, although half way around the world is a very long distance.
OP. It will probably not work out. Does this guy live close to her?
No, he lives here in USA too. We are both adults she is 30 I am 40... And I think we both like a little drama... sadly.
 

Beyond Broken

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jan 15, 2009
26
0
Here is a copy of my last email to her:

"You know I love you. I don't know what the heck is going on. But this is getting ridiculous. And it is not fun anymore. It is supposed to be fun. I can't figure anything out. There seems to be a lot of secrets. I was ready to commit to come out there and see you. You are not, and that is ok... But I can't go on like this. If something changes, You know where to find me. -Love"

So where is she from if she's 1/2 way round the world. India? SE Asia? China?
Eastern Europe
 

yg17

macrumors G5
Aug 1, 2004
14,888
2,480
St. Louis, MO
I'm pretty sure I once saw something on Dateline about this. Guy falls in love with girl halfway around the world. Guy sends lots of money to girl. Girl ends up being a male Nigerian scammer :rolleyes:
 

Eraserhead

macrumors G4
Nov 3, 2005
10,300
10,373
UK
not like that at all...
That's what the guy on Dateline said before he realized he was taken to the cleaners.
My initial thought of what 1/2 way round the world means meant I thought it was almost definitely a scam with Eastern Europe it does depend which country it is. Broadly speaking if they are from an EU country (except possibly Bulgaria/Romania) they could just move to Western Europe so it would be unlikely to be worth pulling off this as a scam to get US citizenship.

Screen shot 2010-01-18 at 17.51.52.png

You'll just waste 2 or 3 grand to go over there and discover that this girl doesn't exist.
What does she gain out of doing that? Maybe I'm not thinking hard enough, but the only scam I can think of is to marry you for US citizenship.
 

Beyond Broken

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jan 15, 2009
26
0
No, you're right, it is a bit different. You'll just waste 2 or 3 grand to go over there and discover that this girl doesn't exist.
I talk to her on the WEBCAM, phone, email, text.... she exists... Plus the plane ticket is only $850 lol
 

Paul B

macrumors 6502
Sep 13, 2007
270
0
What country is she from? I'm somewhat of an expert on this type of thing and if she's from the country I'm thinking of, I could give you a little advice.
 

bearbear

macrumors regular
Jun 28, 2008
161
0
You sound a little jealous and really she can talk to whoever she likes. Giving ultimatums (it's either me or him) are not the best thing since most people don't follow through with them and then they will most likely not take you seriously next time.

If you are already having these kind of issues this early on, it's only going to get worse. Keep her as a friend and move on.
 

leekohler

macrumors G5
Dec 22, 2004
14,162
19
Chicago, Illinois
You sound a little jealous and really she can talk to whoever she likes. Giving ultimatums (it's either me or him) are not the best thing since most people don't follow through with them and then they will most likely not take you seriously next time.

If you are already having these kind of issues this early on, it's only going to get worse. Keep her as a friend and move on.
Is this crazy relationship thread week? Forget about this girl.
 

Beyond Broken

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jan 15, 2009
26
0
Why is it a problem that she talks to other people?
It's not a problem. She can talk to whoever she wants. But when she sends him a webcam (because he cant afford one). That's what I have a problem with, and then him contacting me, saying leave her alone...
(She is from Western Ukraine)
 

Tomorrow

macrumors 604
Mar 2, 2008
7,116
1,246
Always a day away
I don't think it's a problem that she's talking to another guy - I think it's a problem that the OP believes she loves him and only him.

OP: you have asked for advice. Going through this thread it seems pretty unanimous that you are being advised to let this go. My hunch is that you and this other guy are both being played, and that there may actually be more guys than the two of you.

You also sound crazy jealous about this guy (whom I assume you have never met). But if a ticket costs "only" $850 and you're okay with risking that, plus lodging, plus possibly having your heart broken, then who am I to judge?
 

Paul B

macrumors 6502
Sep 13, 2007
270
0
If you're gonna book a trip to her country, prepare an itinerary for if she doesn't meet you. There's a chance she might disappear off the face of the planet right when you arrive.

P.S. I speak from experience.