New Chuck Norris jokes

[moonman239]

Tim Cook lives in fear that Chuck Norris's iPhone will crash.
Chuck Norris can win Angry Birds using no birds.
Siri always gives Chuck Norris the correct response to his queries.

 

[Madmic23]

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you in the face through Facetime.

 

[Squilly]

Chuck Norris cracks glass without touching it.

 

[kylera]

The boogyman looks for Chuck Norris under its bed.

 

[ravenvii]

The iMac was called the internetMac, but Chuck Norris roundkicked it so hard only 'i' was left.

 

[APlotdevice]

Eh, it's just not the same without the beard.

 

[iMikeT]

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups off the world, it's the world that gets pushed down with every rep.

 

[jdechko]

Apple Maps never gives Chuck Norris wrong directions because Chuck Norris doesn't have to ask for directions.

 

[Tinmania]

When Chuck Norris asks Siri how old she is, she tells him.



Michael

 

[cambookpro]

Chuck Norris has neither a control or command key on his keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control and command.

 

[DesertEagle]

Apple Maps will never screw up on Chuck Norris.

 

[needfx]

Why did Chuck bicycle-kick Siri in the face?

Because she didn't laugh after telling him a Norris joke.


-me

 

[Gonzo3333]

Chuck Norris clogs toilets when he pees.

 

[ijohn.8.80]

Chuck Norris' dartboard, which he has played daily with since childhood, is in mint condition with only a single hole in the exact centre.

Chuck Norris can do donuts in a steam-train.

Chuck Norris once knocked a woman out with his ejaculation.

 

[erickkoch]

Chuck Norris doesn't own a calendar. He decides what day it is.

 

[Kattym]

The line is never busy when Chuck is calling.

 

[Drew017]

Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.

Chuck Norris had a yo-yo when he was a kid. One night he just got bored with it and threw it up into the sky. Perhaps you've seen it.

😀

 

[needfx]

Which oriental weapon was named after Norris?

Nunchaku

-Me