After the last four-plus years of 4" iPhones for the wife and I, size has OBVIOUSLY not been an issue in my household. The missus didn't know any better and just ASSUMED what we had with our dinky, puny little 'Pods was the bees' knees.
In comes the iPhone 6 Plus.
This thing is BIG.
I mean GINORMOUS.
After her first touch of Apple's newest (and BIGGEST) iDevice, my wife was in heaven. I had never seen her eyes light up with such excitement and emotion; her lips quivering with each and every stroke and touch of her new "love".
Before I could even get my lips moving and attempt to push out a word, my wife stammered, "I have never -- in MY life -- EVER held something SO big...yet SO beautiful...in these hands."
As I continued to try and push out something -- ANYTHING -- still in awe at how my wife was reacting to her journey into the world of 5.5 GLORIOUS inches of absolute eye candy and pleasure, she looked me up and down twice, proceeding to utter, "THIS is now the standard and I can NEVER go back."
My better half then paused and looked away for a brief moment, proceeding to sharply turn back to me and shoot daggers directly into MY retinas (not to be confused with THOSE "retinas". You know, the iPad-type, located directly behind me?).
"So what ELSE have you been keeping from me after all of these years, hmm? I thought you always told me that size DOESN'T matter and that 4" is the standard in regard to EVERYTHING pleasurable that matters to us in this world."
I gulped -- nervous to give a retort -- only to cautiously and hesitantly ask aloud "Surpriiiiiiise??"
Daggers again.
"I want a divorce...AND this phone" she affirmed, waving the mammoth-sized unit she was still clutching back and forth in front of my face; no sign of life or remorse in HER eyes after what she had just conveyed to me.
Suffice to say, I'm now in the process of a divorce; left with my "rump roast" of an iPhone 5s (4" of lameness, I tell ya), as I cannot afford to hang with the "BIG boy(s)" anymore.
The soon-to-be-ex who broke my heart and shattered my once confident psych and ego? She gets the 5.5 inch "device" of her dreams AND the last laugh. Once the alimony finally kicks in, I'm sure that'll be the hardest blow AND kick to the 'ol "iPhone 3GS" for me, though.
Until then, the personal inadequacies that I have developed due to the release of the new iPhone 6 Plus are now insurmountable.
"Once you go Mac, you never go back", eh fellas?
*Facetiously chuckles*
WRONGthat aforementioned saying is officially false.
Apple...you are now dead to me.
In comes the iPhone 6 Plus.
This thing is BIG.
I mean GINORMOUS.
After her first touch of Apple's newest (and BIGGEST) iDevice, my wife was in heaven. I had never seen her eyes light up with such excitement and emotion; her lips quivering with each and every stroke and touch of her new "love".
Before I could even get my lips moving and attempt to push out a word, my wife stammered, "I have never -- in MY life -- EVER held something SO big...yet SO beautiful...in these hands."
As I continued to try and push out something -- ANYTHING -- still in awe at how my wife was reacting to her journey into the world of 5.5 GLORIOUS inches of absolute eye candy and pleasure, she looked me up and down twice, proceeding to utter, "THIS is now the standard and I can NEVER go back."
My better half then paused and looked away for a brief moment, proceeding to sharply turn back to me and shoot daggers directly into MY retinas (not to be confused with THOSE "retinas". You know, the iPad-type, located directly behind me?).
"So what ELSE have you been keeping from me after all of these years, hmm? I thought you always told me that size DOESN'T matter and that 4" is the standard in regard to EVERYTHING pleasurable that matters to us in this world."
I gulped -- nervous to give a retort -- only to cautiously and hesitantly ask aloud "Surpriiiiiiise??"
Daggers again.
"I want a divorce...AND this phone" she affirmed, waving the mammoth-sized unit she was still clutching back and forth in front of my face; no sign of life or remorse in HER eyes after what she had just conveyed to me.
Suffice to say, I'm now in the process of a divorce; left with my "rump roast" of an iPhone 5s (4" of lameness, I tell ya), as I cannot afford to hang with the "BIG boy(s)" anymore.
The soon-to-be-ex who broke my heart and shattered my once confident psych and ego? She gets the 5.5 inch "device" of her dreams AND the last laugh. Once the alimony finally kicks in, I'm sure that'll be the hardest blow AND kick to the 'ol "iPhone 3GS" for me, though.
Until then, the personal inadequacies that I have developed due to the release of the new iPhone 6 Plus are now insurmountable.
"Once you go Mac, you never go back", eh fellas?
*Facetiously chuckles*
WRONGthat aforementioned saying is officially false.
Apple...you are now dead to me.
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