Non tech savvy needs help iphone4 and SMS Texts

[ihavenoidea]

Hi there,

I am not in the least tech savvy. My boyfriend is but hence the problem. A little background: about 3 weeks ago my boyfriend was loading some music on to my phone and apparently he backed up all of the files onto my computer and then emailed himself a copy of my texts. However, he told me that after syncing that my phone that he got a text from me that was like 30 pages long and it was just code. so he said he emailed the texts to himself (which I didnt even know you could do) and put them in a file and then had a program to unencrypt it and he read my texts. And that it happened to him before and its because I was signed in under his account. Which is no biggie but, the fact that he lied to me (I think) with all the file moving around and how he got the texts bothers me. So I have a few questions to see if I can understand.

1. Could he have put something on my phone to copy all the texts that are on there, even the deleted ones and have it sent to his phone when I sync?

2. If I synced on a whole different computer would it save all my texts on that computer and not on my itunes account?

3. is there a way texts can just be totally deleted without syncing?

4. when the phone syncs does it pull all the text messages in my phone off and put them in the computer?

5. What if I just did an erase all content and restore setting would that erase the texts ....

I know this is basic stuff, but i am just have no clue about this stuff ... Hell Im surprised I even found this forum!! But Thnks in advance for the help!

 

[Wafflausages]

I remember seeing something around like this, and I'm pretty sure it works on your iPhone's backup file which then a program goes into and extracts the messages.

So any computer you back your phone up watch out :-]

 

[rocknblogger]

Couple of things. First of all if he did what you say it's highly unethical and I would seriously consider your relationship. My daughter had a boyfriend with trust issues and it made her life miserable. I told him to get rid of him and eventually she did.

About the texts. It's possible to email your texts to yourself or anyone else. But it's not easy to email ALL of them at once. One thing I guess I would be concerned with is if he jailbreaked your phone. If its a 4 it's possible if it's a 4S then it's not.

If it is jailbroken there are some apps that allow you to spy on the phone user and yes theses apps can log your text messages as well GPS position, contacts and memos among other things.

If you restore your phone yes you would be wiping it clean.

One thing of concern is you said that he said you were signed into his account. If that's the case you should only use your own account.

Hope this helps you somewhat.

 

[rocknblogger]

Oh yeah one more thing. You should only backup your phone to your own computer. That way you can lock down your account with a password and keep your files safe.

 

[verwon]

Honey, if he's even talking about doing such things, you don't need tech help, you need a new boyfriend!

 

[rocknblogger]

Honey, if he's even talking about doing such things, you don't need tech help, you need a new boyfriend!

My sentiments exactly!!!

 

[Applejuiced]

Honey, if he's even talking about doing such things, you don't need tech help, you need a new boyfriend!

Exactly.
Not that its ok what he did but if you're also worried about him be able to read your texts and want to delete them then sounds like there's lots of issues in that relationship.
But to get some things out of the way he could have made a backup with itunes of your phone. Then with that there's plenty of software out there that can decrypt the backup and extract all the info out like emails, text conversations, contacts, pictures taken and many other things.
But he could not have emailed himself the backup file could de to its size could range from 100-200mb to even 1GB so thats not possible to email cause its too big of a file.
He couldnt install anything on your phone to spy on you unless your phone is JB and even then not sure if such packages exist but possible. Only if your iphone is JB though, its never going to happen on stock firmware.
And yes your texts can be deleted by going to message and deleting the whole conversation. When the phone syncs it creates a backup of whats currently on the phone and yes that includes text messages.
If you did an erase all yes it would get rid of everything on the phone including texts but you can delete those easier without losing everything else like your contacts and other settings just by going to messages and deleting the conversations you want.
Hope some of that helps but sounds like he also tried to play a mind trick with you to make you think he can do things that many of us know cannot be done maybe in order to manipulate you somehow.
Either way good luck with your situation.

 

[ihavenoidea]

Thanks you guys so much, and thank you for the advice.

The thing is; is that he lied to me about what he was doing trying to be sneaky (I feel like that anyway). Plus he just thinks I am an idiot when it comes to this stuff; which I am to a certain extent, but I am certainly not helpless and I want to learn. HE wont teach me stuff I guess so I will depend on him maybe?? AH, who knows..... I just know I want to learn so I can know what is going on.

thank you guys so much. now I know how the syncing works. That is basically what I wanted to know. My phone is NOT jailbroken, I just dont see the point in it (I very well could be naieve and it could be the best thing since sliced bread!!) My phone is all stock. So I am going to just reboot the whole damn thing and erase everything. It needs a good cleaning anyway!!

Oh but here is one question, if I save all my contacts to my computer, where the hell do they go? I cant find them anywhere.... I have looked online for the file name and searched for it on my computer, and it is no where to be found. However, I did have to uninstall and reinstall itunes last night, so maybe the file left with that version?

Thank you!!

 

[scaredpoet]

The thing is; is that he lied to me about what he was doing trying to be sneaky (I feel like that anyway). Plus he just thinks I am an idiot when it comes to this stuff; which I am to a certain extent, but I am certainly not helpless and I want to learn. HE wont teach me stuff I guess so I will depend on him maybe?? AH, who knows..... I just know I want to learn so I can know what is going on.

He won't teach you both because he wants you to depend on him and because he knows it's a method of being able to snoop on what you're doing and possibly even control/manipulate you. This can be a dangerous thing.

What disturbs me the most about this is, he claims that your phone just somehow sent him a 30-page SMS with all your texts in it. No phone made yet "just" does this, without someone causing it to happen. There was a bug a while back on Android phones that occasionally made random texts go to random wrong people, but it was eventually fixed, and never did it just upchuck an entire SMS database.

He's snooping on you, and he lied to you about it. Those are very serious things, and potential relationship-enders. And that's coming from a guy.

Oh but here is one question, if I save all my contacts to my computer, where the hell do they go? I cant find them anywhere.... I have looked online for the file name and searched for it on my computer, and it is no where to be found. However, I did have to uninstall and reinstall itunes last night, so maybe the file left with that version?

It's possible. If you're going to restore your iPhone from scratch, I'd recommend first setting up iCloud and syncing up your contacts to the cloud before wiping and restoring. This way they can be downloaded again when you restore. All you need to do from the phone is sign back in and it should bring everything back.

If he hasn't jailbroken your phone, then it's a pretty good bet that there are no eavesdropping apps on it, since all of them require a jailbreak. BUt then, wiping and restoring your phone is the best way to make totally sure of that.

One last thing: wiping and restoring your phone isn't going to prevent him from doing this again. If he isn't jail breaking your phone, then he's getting your text messages from a backup file being stored on your computer. Backing up your iPhone to iCloud may help put a stop to that.

But none of this addresses the underlying issue here: that he's probably very insecure, and evidently doesn't trust you. A serious talk and possibly a re-thinking of your relationship with him is in order.

 

[Mr_Brightside_@]

Oh but here is one question, if I save all my contacts to my computer, where the hell do they go? I cant find them anywhere.... I have looked online for the file name and searched for it on my computer, and it is no where to be found. However, I did have to uninstall and reinstall itunes last night, so maybe the file left with that version?

Thank you!!

I'm sort of confused by your wording, but I'll try to explain.
When you say save, do you mean in iTunes you checked "Sync contacts" etc under the Info tab (when your iPhone was plugged in/syncing)? Or do you simply mean save as in saved through your phone's backup?
If it's the former, then they would be saved to Address Book on a Mac, or Microsoft Outlook, Outlook Express, Windows Addressbook (XP) and Windows Contacts (Vista and Windows 7) (stole those off Apple's support since I'm not familiar with Windows services).
If it's the latter, they would only be found in your backup, which I believe could be extracted (as your bf has done with your texts), but it wouldn't be terribly easy to do.
If they are still on your phone however, you can just plug back into your computer and sync them again.
Speaking to the backup issue, you can (and at this point, probably should) encrypt your backups in iTunes (of course, this only applies to the computer it's selected on). Another option if you're on iOS5 is to backup to iCloud instead.
Hope this makes sense. It's nice to see a newbie asking well-informed questions for once.

EDIT: scaredpoet beat me to the punch. But I think both of us answered haha

 

[scaredpoet]

One last thing I'd recommend: if there's an Apple store nearby, and you have questions about your phone, set up a genius appointment with them instead of asking your boyfriend. The Geniuses at least don't have an agenda to pursue.

You don't need Applecare for an in-person genius appointment.

 

[Mr_Brightside_@]

One last thing I'd recommend: if there's an Apple store nearby, and you have questions about your phone, set up a genius appointment with them instead of asking your boyfriend. The Geniuses at least don't have an agenda to pursue.

You don't need Applecare for an in-person genius appointment.

Workshops can be good too, and are free. They're not run by Geniuses, but generally aren't too busy and can be a good way of getting questions answered.

Btw scared, I totally fell for your avatar

 

[silverblack]

My phone is NOT jailbroken, I just dont see the point in it (I very well could be naieve and it could be the best thing since sliced bread!!) My phone is all stock. So I am going to just reboot the whole damn thing and erase everything. It needs a good cleaning anyway!!

Oh but here is one question, if I save all my contacts to my computer, where the hell do they go? I cant find them anywhere.... I have looked online for the file name and searched for it on my computer, and it is no where to be found. However, I did have to uninstall and reinstall itunes last night, so maybe the file left with that version?

Thank you!!

You definitely need a new boyfriend, but let's help you with your phone first.

1. Jailbreak is not a must have. Stock has its own advantages. Don't ever feel left out without jailbreaking.
2. What iOS are you currently on? (settings - general - about - version) The latest version is 5.0.1.
3. About your contacts, in the past, how do you access your contacts? Only from your phone, or do yo manage them on your computer?

More to follow after you answer the above.

 

[ihavenoidea]

I'm sort of confused by your wording, but I'll try to explain.
When you say save, do you mean in iTunes you checked "Sync contacts" etc under the Info tab (when your iPhone was plugged in/syncing)? Or do you simply mean save as in saved through your phone's backup?
If it's the former, then they would be saved to Address Book on a Mac, or Microsoft Outlook, Outlook Express, Windows Addressbook (XP) and Windows Contacts (Vista and Windows 7) (stole those off Apple's support since I'm not familiar with Windows services).
If it's the latter, they would only be found in your backup, which I believe could be extracted (as your bf has done with your texts), but it wouldn't be terribly easy to do.
If they are still on your phone however, you can just plug back into your computer and sync them again.
Speaking to the backup issue, you can (and at this point, probably should) encrypt your backups in iTunes (of course, this only applies to the computer it's selected on). Another option if you're on iOS5 is to backup to iCloud instead.
Hope this makes sense. It's nice to see a newbie asking well-informed questions for once.

EDIT: scaredpoet beat me to the punch. But I think both of us answered haha

Saved as in I never checked any kind of box (didnt know there was a box to be checked) See before I had this issue I never backed up anything.... ever.... that I know of anyway. I never said for it to back up anything.

I will uninstall and reinstall itunes here in just a few min. And then just go from there. I saved what I needed to from my phone and then did the full restore thing. So now all I have to do is sync it again and I should be good to go. (I hope anyway). Just FYI I have also put a password on one laptop so it wont even boot unless the PW is entered and I will be doing all of my stuff from there from now on. I have even thought about double passwording it so that I have to enter another password just to get in as a user. (I have to find out how to do that one too though; but I found how to do the other one) I really dont like locking my things, but yet..... here I am.

I really appreciate all of the help and the advice (relationship and other wise!!)

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You definitely need a new boyfriend, but let's help you with your phone first.

1. Jailbreak is not a must have. Stock has its own advantages. Don't ever feel left out without jailbreaking.
2. What iOS are you currently on? (settings - general - about - version) The latest version is 5.0.1.
3. About your contacts, in the past, how do you access your contacts? Only from your phone, or do yo manage them on your computer?

More to follow after you answer the above.

Its not the 5... its the one before that (I already cleared my phone so I cant get to that part right now)

As far as my contacts go, I was accessing them from my phone. BUT I noticed the other day that it said on my contacts "from PC" so does that mean that he backed up my contacts to his computer too and now has all of those? I dont remember it ever saying "from PC" on my a list of all contacts until now.

I am going to see if I can figure out this icloud thing and try it out

----------

One last thing I'd recommend: if there's an Apple store nearby, and you have questions about your phone, set up a genius appointment with them instead of asking your boyfriend. The Geniuses at least don't have an agenda to pursue.

You don't need Applecare for an in-person genius appointment.

Had no idea there were people like that ... AWESOME !!! Thanks!!