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Hemingray said:
Anyone else think this guy is crazy? Hm, if you were 31 and awoke to a 24 year old woman doing that to you, would YOU press charges?!?! :eek: I think the guy should be locked up instead!!

You should at least consider the possibility that his perspective is different from yours, and that others' might be too. Pressing rape charges against someone, and following through with all of the things that come afterwards, to try to get that someone convicted, is no painless thing. People (women or men) who do it don't do it for fun, or on a lark, because it isn't fun. If this person went to all the trouble necessary to support the police in his country in following up with this, then I think its quite likely that this *was* a traumatic experience. I think the courts in his country did the right thing.
 
mkrishnan said:
You should at least consider the possibility that his perspective is different from yours, and that others' might be too.

Um, yeah, obviously his perspective is MUCH different from mine! It's still unfathomable to me.

Don't get me wrong, rape is a serious offense, but... this?! C'mon, am I seriously the only one here that thinks this is crazy?
 
Interesting that she got 9 months and a relatively small fine. I wonder what the response would have been if the situation was reversed?

As for the guy being crazy - he's just part of the wrong generation. Anyone in high school these days is having oral sex all the time, and so probably wouldn't have been so concerned.
 
emw said:
As for the guy being crazy - he's just part of the wrong generation. Anyone in high school these days is having oral sex all the time, and so probably wouldn't have been so concerned.

EMW, I <3 you for trying to resurrect that thread. :D

I don't know what the standard punishments for rape are over there, or if the type of sex act is considered in assessing severity. The sentence seems light by US standards, but then our whole crime/punishment system is so brain-bogglingly wrong-minded that... :( The article did make a big deal, though, of the prosecution trying for as egalitarian a handling of the case as possible. But it doesn't really quote them on whether they felt the sentence was a success or a failure in that light.
 
I don't think it's crazy. Who knows what had happened beforehand? Perhaps he'd turned her down before, perhaps he had a girlfriend who he wanted to stay faithful to, perhaps he thought she might have been a sperm thief (as we had in a thread once before), perhaps he was self-conscious about his size and didn't want anyone else around the sofa to see? :eek:

Consent is the key in any sexual activity. It's not there if a participant is unconscious! While I'll admit to 'waking' sleeping partners, I generally know whether they're willing beforehand... and wait until they can join in... ;)
 
i wish i could wake up to a blow job at a party ... lol

seriously though ... i'm glad he did it -- equal rights are equal rights <-- you take the good and the BAD, and that includes sexual acts against will.
 
mkrishnan said:
EMW, I <3 you for trying to resurrect that thread. :D
Yeah, it died, um, prematurely.

mkrishnan said:
I don't know what the standard punishments for rape are over there, or if the type of sex act is considered in assessing severity. The sentence seems light by US standards, but then our whole crime/punishment system is so brain-bogglingly wrong-minded that... :( The article did make a big deal, though, of the prosecution trying for as egalitarian a handling of the case as possible. But it doesn't really quote them on whether they felt the sentence was a success or a failure in that light.
Seriously, though, good point. It would be interesting to understand what the standards for rape punishment are there. I can't see a guy in the US getting 9 months for having oral sex with a woman who hadn't consented to it. A couple of years, maybe. But probably no fine.
 
emw said:
As for the guy being crazy - he's just part of the wrong generation.
I'll be 30 next year (putting me in the same generation as this guy), so thank you for making me feel very, very old. ;)

The fact of the matter is had the situation been reversed and a drunk woman awoke to find a stranger having sex with her, her attacker should rightly expect to have the full weight of the law thrown at him. The woman in this instance fully deserves her punishment.
 
Jaffa Cake said:
I'll be 30 next year (putting me in the same generation as this guy), so thank you for making me feel very, very old. ;)
Sorry about that. I'm older than you, though, so think how it makes me feel. :p

Besides, you'd have to read the other thread to understand the reference.
 
It's funny how guys can want sex so much that the idea of receiving it from an unwanted partner somehow doesn't seem so bad.
 
Hemingray said:
Um, yeah, obviously his perspective is MUCH different from mine! It's still unfathomable to me.

Don't get me wrong, rape is a serious offense, but... this?! C'mon, am I seriously the only one here that thinks this is crazy?


well, you don't know the situation. i had once my own stalker and it's no fun. it's annoying and could cost you your career, relationship or your friends. if something like this happens you're almost forced to sue her because if you don't things can get really ugly.

sueing in a case like this seems to be blown out of proportion :D but i guess it's not about this aeh.. incident. it's probably more about the whole situation and the risk involved (it happend at a party so lets assume somebody took a picture and posts it on the web. good bye job, career, girlfriend....). that's why we choose to have sex in private settings. and we are not so desperate for sex that we appreciate any kind of service like this.
 
emw said:
As for the guy being crazy - he's just part of the wrong generation. Anyone in high school these days is having oral sex all the time,, and so probably wouldn't have been so concerned.

Yea, this weekend if I happen to fall asleep at a party and get domes, I probably wont be pressing charges. I'd just be kinda pissed well actually it depends who...
 
Personally, if I didn't want to get raped, I would probably want to avoid situations that may lead to it, like falling asleep drunk at parties (duh).
 
This is ridiculous. It is not biologically possible for a woman to rape a man. Rape is a forceful, violent act. Just physically speaking, women cannot force men to have sex with them, and even if they could, it still wouldn't be rape because it wouldn't be an invasive act. Waking up to some woman giving you a bj isn't going to scar you for life; a woman who has been violently attacked and forced to have sex is deeply scarred. This is just pc bull**** gone too far and it's ridiculous that some country's laws support crap like this. The man obviously had some other motives for pressing charges.
 
jamdr said:
This is ridiculous. It is not biologically possible for a woman to rape a man. Rape is a forceful, violent act. Just physically speaking, women cannot force men to have sex with them, and even if they could, it still wouldn't be rape because it wouldn't be an invasive act. Waking up to some woman giving you a bj isn't going to scar you for life; a woman who has been violently attacked and forced to have sex is deeply scarred. This is just pc bull**** gone too far and it's ridiculous that some country's laws support crap like this. The man obviously had some other motives for pressing charges.
What?!

You're saying it's impossible for a woman to force a man to have sex with her against his will? Is it because women are such weak and vulnerable creatures that they couldn't possibly overcome us much stronger and more physically imposing males? Or is it because a male would never consider having sex a bad thing?

Perhaps waking up to oral sex isn't scarring to you, and it is significantly different than having your life or well-being threatened in a sexual encounter, but it doesn't make it right. This guy may have had ulterior motives, or he may simply have felt that this woman had no right to do this to him. To say rape only applies to women is small-minded.
 
jamdr said:
This is ridiculous. It is not biologically possible for a woman to rape a man. Rape is a forceful, violent act. Just physically speaking, women cannot force men to have sex with them, and even if they could, it still wouldn't be rape because it wouldn't be an invasive act. Waking up to some woman giving you a bj isn't going to scar you for life; a woman who has been violently attacked and forced to have sex is deeply scarred. This is just pc bull**** gone too far and it's ridiculous that some country's laws support crap like this. The man obviously had some other motives for pressing charges.

why because he was erect? it's not completely voluntary to be erect, if it was; premature ejaculation OR penile disfunction (which is usually psychological not physical) wouldn't be an issue

so you don't think any situation can exist where a man is forced into into sex by a woman?
 
jamdr said:
This is ridiculous. It is not biologically possible for a woman to rape a man. Rape is a forceful, violent act. Just physically speaking, women cannot force men to have sex with them, and even if they could, it still wouldn't be rape because it wouldn't be an invasive act. Waking up to some woman giving you a bj isn't going to scar you for life; a woman who has been violently attacked and forced to have sex is deeply scarred. This is just pc bull**** gone too far and it's ridiculous that some country's laws support crap like this. The man obviously had some other motives for pressing charges.

You are assuming that the guy is totally in control of his bodily functions. I don't know any guys that can control their erections completely, especially if someone is lending a helping hand.

The few cases of male rape, I actually know the person, involved alcohol. I agree that for a man it is not a violent invasive act compared to female rape but it is rape by the law (at least in California). My friend said no (multiple times), and she kept going. He felt stupid for being too drunk around a girl he shouldn't have been drunk with. It is embarrassing as a guy to say you were raped, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
 
What if the guy were gay? Then the idea of any kind of sex with a woman would be completely repugnant to him and being forced to could be traumatizing, akin to a straight guy being forced by another man. A blowjob feels good, right? But does that mean that a heterosexual man would be fine with getting one from a guy? Probably not.

A person's reasons for not consenting to sex shouldn't be questioned, whether it's a male or female. If s/he doesn't want to, then it shouldn't be done.
 
I give this guy a lot of credit for following through on this. Personal privacy is personal privacy, the lady took advantage of a man that was sleeping. Yes, rape is very serious. Doesn't matter if it happens to be a man or women
 
The woman was doing the man a favor. She's helping to reduce his risks for prostate cancer.
 
Lacero said:
The woman was doing the man a favor. She's helping to reduce his risks for prostate cancer.

ha!

well, only if it had a happy ending, which it probably didn't. The story left out a few things, though, that might have made more sense to the story. You don't know if he was married or had a girlfriend or even if he was gay - regardless, it could have been a bit of a scare. Although, if he passed out on the couch, he might not have remembered consenting to something either.

D
 
i wouldnt be afraid to press charges, its an invasion of my privacy if i didnt ask for it. if its not consentual then its rape. period. and it is possible for a woman to rape a man, its just not the norm. i know that i woke up to some stranger giving me head i would freak out. who knows, maybe she was a stalker too, that would make this situation more understandable too. maybe it was known that she was 'easy' or had other problems......

wierd world we live in though
 
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