Okay, I won't try to keep you hooked, but if you're just gonna complain about relationship thread, leave now. Otherwise, I'd like some help. I asked a girl out about 3 months ago, and she turned me down, but was suspiciously nice about the whole thing. We kept as friends, and have started a band together, but whenever we were with our friends it was always something special and separated between us and them. I had, since her birthday, had plans to take her to Honda Civic Tour, and did just that, and afterwards when we were eating dinner at McDonald's she said (and I quote) "I don't mean to make you feel awkward, but I think things could work out between us" and then continued after my jaw dropped to say "but I'm afraid that if we were to date and break up, it could hurt our band". This was all about a week ago. Since then, things haven't been too much different than before. My question is, what should I do now? This is somewhat awkward for me, and I'm sure for her too. I'd like to stick with our band, but I'd also like to have the relationship that we both seem to want. Again, don't flame me for posting another relationship thread. If you've got nothing good to say, don't bother typing it up.
you gotta go for it what else is there? you just have to be man enough if it doesn't work out to have the band's best interest at heart but come on! really what else is there? course i'm a girl....
Ahhh yes, but what would we do with our sorry lives if didn't get to peek inside yours and try and have you not make the mistakes we made To your problem, don't stuff around! Do it and do it now, your heart (and hers) may get broken but hell, if life was easy we wouldn't have evolved from lung fish, or whatever (and I quote) 'floats your boat'
I'd vastly prefer to have both, but I dunno- the band might be slightly more important to her, so I don't want to drop that for her. And as far as McDonald's, it was the only restaurant within walking distance of the amphitheater.
Kiss her, if it doesn't work out, make sure you don't end up in the friend zone. Screw the band, a lot of people can play instruments.
Well since she is part of the band... good advice. Seriously though, what is going to last longer the band or the relationship.
If you don't go for it, eventually she'll end up dating someone else then you'll be pissed at her (and yourself for not giving it a go) and the band will suffer. Give it a go. Better to worry about something that has happened than something that may never...
just give 'er eh! seriously, a relationship is far better than a band. you may not realize it, but it's true. if you like her and she likes you, why not?
Thanks for all the good advice. Obviously in the end it's hers and my decision, but I'll keep your advice together. I'll probably wait until after tomorrow (our first true, full meeting of our band) to make a move, just to see if this entire band thing will blow over. The good news is, if it does blow over I can make a move. Bad news is she'll probably just want a duet project (but that'd work great in a relationship, anyway)
Strike while the iron is hot! If she's worried about the band if things don't work out, tell her that some of the greatest bands in history had members that were at odds with each other. pink floyd guns n roses black crows etc. By the release of Animals (1977), it was clear that Waters had become the band's dominant influence, and there was increasing internal conflict within Pink Floyd. Their sense of alienation (from both one another and contemporary society) was profoundly illustrated by the tour for 1979's best-selling album The Wall