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Not really a relationship thread...

Macaddicttt

Macaddicttt

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Apr 22, 2004
993
3
San Diego, CA
Okay, I'm not the type to start a relationship thread, and don't worry, this one isn't really one, although it involves a relationship. I just wanted to put this out there and see if anyone could think of something I haven't yet.

So the situation is this: I am in my second year of college. My girlfriend is currently in her second to last year of high school and she lives in Norway (I'm in the US if you haven't looked under my avatar yet). We plan to be in it for the long run, so no responses of, "Just let it go." (Remember, this isn't a relationship thread :) .)

Now she wants to be a doctor. She also would like to go to college and med-school and all that in the US, but here's the hitch. Since college is free in Norway, her parents wouldn't contribute anything. Also, since she isn't a US citizen or resident, most American schools won't offer her financial aid.

Right now, I see a few options. I'm just wondering if someone sees any more.

1) She could go to school in Norway, I stay in the States, we just wait it out like we have been doing.

2) She goes to school in Norway, I try to somehow live and work there. I might be eligible for Italian citizenship, which would make things easier, but that's not a guarantee. Really, I don't know the first thing about what it would take for me to be able to live there for a few years.

3) She goes to school in the US, takes out lots of loans, and we are in debt for quite some time.

If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. If anyone here is a non-US citizen or resident who has gone to an American university, your experiences would be welcome. (I would ask the international students at my school, but most are either very rich or got full scholarships from their respective counties.)

I know we still have some time to figure things out, but she has to start thinking of college real soon if she wants to go to the US.
 
Ahh.. That is a tough one. Ultimately, it seems that it is up to what is possible and what is affordable. And since neither of you are finished with education, that should definitely be a priority if it is important to you. When you finish college -- depending on your major --- perhaps you can get a job in Norway if that is your choice. But, trust me, you should visit Norway (if you haven't already) before you move there. I've never been there myself, but it is generally a good idea to visit a place that you are going to move to. :)
 
i would say go and live in norway for as long as you can.

this is based on the fact that it is a cheaper country (on the whole) than the US and you may be able to get some of this free education. It would be a learning experience living in another country, esp with a native GF. A very good italian mate of mine was in the UK for a year and half then went back to oz. I lived in sydney for a year finishing off my A-Levels (exams for when you're 18) and had no problem with citizenship- tho i didnt look to see the max time i was allowed to live there.

research all possibilties, and go for it if she means this much to you.
(good skiing in Voss too)
 
Find a cliff overlooking the ocean and commit junshi together. This way your feelings toward one another shall remain perfect...in death.
 
Have you considered study abroad programs? In the UC system, there is something called EAP (Education Abroad Program). IF you are one heck of a student, it is possible that you may have the whole year, or even two years paid for you. Well, it'd be good to supplement that with work and all, but it may be an idea for you to consider - having your school sponsor you. Even if you don't go to a UC, I am sure there is something equivalent in your school.
 
Thanks for the ideas so far. I think it might be a good idea for me to go live in Norway for a few years, but I'm wondering how possible that is. Don't visas and things like that get in the way? And as for me studying abroad there, it's not really an option. My school has study abroad, but not to Norway. I could find my own program in Norway, but I'd have to have a good academic reason to go there. I can't say there is one. I am going to spend a semester in Italy, though. But the real problem is what she does in terms of school, not me.

But has anyone had any experience living abroad for a few years? Or has anyone been on the other end of it and studied in the US while not living here? I'd be interested to hear your experiences/advice.
 
hamish_holmes said:
i would say go and live in norway for as long as you can.

this is based on the fact that it is a cheaper country (on the whole) than the US....
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Is that true? I always thought Norway was a pretty expensive place to live, along with the other Scandinavian countries.
 
One other thing you may want to keep in mind is that should she choose to do her medical education in Norway, she might find that getting licensed in the U.S. to practice (should you two choose to come back to the U.S., which it sounds like is your plan) could be difficult. Often foreign medical grads will not meet the requirements for a U.S. medical license and will sometimes have to go through further training in the U.S. (ie. an additional fellowship or even repeating a residency). This could add a significant number of years to her training should she complete medical school in Norway.

Although it would be the most expensive route, having her come here to complete medical school may be an option she should consider. It could potentially save her a significant amount of time spent training, in the future.

For example, a friend of mine completed medical school and his residency in England... but when he came to the U.S. to live with his wife (American citizen) he not only had to complete a fellowship (2 years now) but will also need to re-do part of his residency (another 2 years).
 
Sharewaredemon said:
You said there was a possibility of getting an Italian citizenship?

If so, you can get a Visa for any EU country (Norway being one of them).
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I'm not sure if I'm eligible. If you have a direct paternal link to a natural-born Italian citizen, you are eligible for Italian citizenship. I have a direct, paternal link, but my great-grandfather (who emigrated from Italy) was naturalized as an American citizen before my grandfather was born. That limits eligibility so that my father is the youngest generation to be eligible. But if he gained Italian citizenship, that might automatically make me eligible, but I'm not sure. And even if this is all possible, there's about a million documents I'd have to find to prove my eligibility.

(Oh, and by the way, Norway isn't in the EU, but relations between Norway and the EU are so close that in terms of things like visas, it functions as if Norway was in the EU.)
 
Macaddicttt said:
I'm not sure if I'm eligible. If you have a direct paternal link to a natural-born Italian citizen, you are eligible for Italian citizenship. I have a direct, paternal link, but my great-grandfather (who emigrated from Italy) was naturalized as an American citizen before my grandfather was born. That limits eligibility so that my father is the youngest generation to be eligible. But if he gained Italian citizenship, that might automatically make me eligible, but I'm not sure. And even if this is all possible, there's about a million documents I'd have to find to prove my eligibility.

(Oh, and by the way, Norway isn't in the EU, but relations between Norway and the EU are so close that in terms of things like visas, it functions as if Norway was in the EU.)
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Sorry, I used the iTMS so see if Norway was on it as my check to see if it is EU.

:D
 
I know this is not a relationship thread but she is in 11th grade? A lot could change in the next few years so I wouldn't plan anything drastic that you would not be happy with if things just-so-happen to not work out. good luck.
 
heabrook said:
Ahh.. That is a tough one.
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I don't think so.
She stays in Norway. No debt. If it's going to last this is a good test. You stay here and do YOUR life. When the dust settles you'll have each other, no debt, and good prospects for work. Debt KILLS people dude. Kills them dead. And if it DOESN'T work out and you've planned your life around it, you'll be one sorry sot for maybe the rest of your life.
Take it from me, as I went throught the SAME thing. It took YEARS to get corrected, and I STILL kick myself to this day.
 
njmac said:
I know this is not a relationship thread but she is in 11th grade? A lot could change in the next few years so I wouldn't plan anything drastic that you would not be happy with if things just-so-happen to not work out. good luck.
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I know a lot could change, but thanks for the words of warning.
 
njmac said:
I know this is not a relationship thread but she is in 11th grade?
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Oops, I missed that. Take everything I said and forget it, and forget her. I thought you were adults.
 
Les Kern said:
Oops, I missed that. Take everything I said and forget it, and forget her. I thought you were adults.
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Yeah, this isn't a relationship thread. :)

I'm just thinking logistics right now. Trust me to take care of the rest. I've only let you in on the part of the situation I want advice on so, I would appreciate no comments on the rest of it. I'm not really interested in what you think about the relationship. I've already gotten it from people who actually know us. I'm just interested in what people have to say about the logistics of going to school in the US or living in Norway/any other foreign country.
 
Sharewaredemon said:
I like Les Kern's advice of her staying in Norway, and you staying in the US until she finishes her degree.
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Yeah, I think that's probably good advice, but she has interest in living and practicing in the US (despite me), and as stonyc pointed out, a Norwegian medical education doesn't necessarily do you much good in the US.
 
Macaddicttt said:
Yeah, I think that's probably good advice, but she has interest in living and practicing in the US (despite me), and as stonyc pointed out, a Norwegian medical education doesn't necessarily do you much good in the US.
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Well, it's not remotely impossible... just more difficult. I'll just share a few examples in addition to my UK friend.

1) Have a cousin who, with her husband, wants to do obtain a US license... both she and her husband are already board-certified in South Korea (as a psychiatrist and opthamologist, respectively). In order to be board certified in the US, they both will have to apply, be accepted, and complete their respective fields' residencies in the US.

2) Wife works with a physician who was certified as an oncologist/hematologist in the Czech Republic. When she came to the US with her daughter, she felt that the extra training required to be a hem/onc doc here in the US was too much and decided instead to go into family medicine (something like 3 less years versus hem/onc). Still, in order to be certified as a family med doc she needs to complete the required 3 year family med residency.

In general, if your GF is going to do her residency here in the US (versus completing her training back in Norway) she will need to make sure that the medical school she goes to meets the requirements for US medical education accredidation(sp?). Even then, when she goes to match (where medical graduates are assigned to residencies) she'll be at a decided disadvantage because most programs fairly or unfairly look down upon foreign medical grads.

That pretty much means her cheapest/longest option (should she choose to stay in Norway) would be to follow a path similar to the examples I cited before... finish her entire training in Norway (or Europe), and then come to the US and complete the extra 3+ (depends on specialty) years to meet the requirements for licensing in the US.

It sounds daunting, but if she is decided on living and working in the US as a physician... it can be done, and it's been done before (my parents were also foreign medical grads... though 20-30 years ago, FMGs weren't as looked down upon as they are now).

Alternatively, her shortest/most expensive option (in terms of having to secure loans/grants) would be to do her undergrad here in the US, build up residency, then go to med school here. The added bonus being a US medical license is very easily transferrable back home in Norway/Europe (the opposite being less so). I'm not sure how easy it would be for her to obtain those loans/grants... but seems like it should be able to be done. Another option might be to finish her undergrad in Norway with an internation baccalaureate (I'm not quite sure how those work) and then apply to medical school here (though I also don't have much knowledge how that would work out).
 
stonyc said:
One other thing you may want to keep in mind is that should she choose to do her medical education in Norway, she might find that getting licensed in the U.S. to practice (should you two choose to come back to the U.S., which it sounds like is your plan) could be difficult. Often foreign medical grads will not meet the requirements for a U.S. medical license and will sometimes have to go through further training in the U.S. (ie. an additional fellowship or even repeating a residency). This could add a significant number of years to her training should she complete medical school in Norway.

Although it would be the most expensive route, having her come here to complete medical school may be an option she should consider. It could potentially save her a significant amount of time spent training, in the future.

For example, a friend of mine completed medical school and his residency in England... but when he came to the U.S. to live with his wife (American citizen) he not only had to complete a fellowship (2 years now) but will also need to re-do part of his residency (another 2 years).
Click to expand...

This is definately something that you should keep in mind. MD is probably one of the most, if not the most difficult license to transferred from other countries into Nort America.

If she is in Gr.11 and you're in 2nd year university wouldn't you be in the last year of university when she graduates anyway? If so I think your best bet is just to stay an extra year in the US to finish off your degree. Then you can decided if you might want to work or do a graduate degree Norway or the EU after your graduation.

If your gf think that she will want to live in the US regardless of your relationship situation (if you do break up and she would want to stay here) then getting her MD from the US wouldn't be unresonnable. But if her sole reason is coming to see you then you might want to re-think the situation.
 
Hmm...I'm thinking I shouldn't have put in the fact that the situation includes a relationship... :)

Don't worry, if she goes to the US for school, it isn't just for me. We know things could change. It's just that right now, they aren't. And she has to make a decision soon about where she wants to go for school. And if me living in Norway is a possibility, I'd like to figure that out soon, too. Yes, we may be planning things too far in advance and things could very well change drastically any moment, but we've taken that into account. We know we shouldn't do stupid things. For example, one of the options in my head wasn't "Get married so then visas won't be a problem no matter where we go." I really don't want to get into the more personal aspects of the relationship.

But thank you, stonyc for the information. It is very helpful.
 
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