Okay, first of all, don't knock Mac OS for following standards. That's why they are standards, they are supposed to be followed. The problem is with the apps that don't. Incidentally, using the tags to rotate images instead of actually rotating the images is better as it is lossless rotation.
That being said, the obvious answer for you is to turn off the auto rotation feature of your camera. If you do that, Preview and every other program will display the image the same way. Applications that ignore the EXIF data will continue to ignore it and application like Preview that follow standards won't have the data to follow.
As for a program to quickly view and rotate them, I highly recommend you download and use Image Viewer. It is available here: http://www.astrok-software.com/en/imageviewer.html.
That being said, the obvious answer for you is to turn off the auto rotation feature of your camera. If you do that, Preview and every other program will display the image the same way. Applications that ignore the EXIF data will continue to ignore it and application like Preview that follow standards won't have the data to follow.
As for a program to quickly view and rotate them, I highly recommend you download and use Image Viewer. It is available here: http://www.astrok-software.com/en/imageviewer.html.