TD Ameritrade E-Mail
Pretty funny e-mail just received. Still get the JRE error though!
"While we are sure that you are all tired of hearing about the recent “cold spell” that “mildly inconvenienced” a “small subset” of the populace, we have something of a confession to make. If you all could keep this between us, it would be appreciated. You see, that whole little polar vortex shift thing was on us. Our bad.
To give you some background, we are constantly striving to improve the performance of the software for all of our users, and one good way to maintain good performance is to ensure that the platform’s servers are kept cool at all times. So in an effort to keep our data centers nice and frosty without breaking the bank with our electric bill, we turned our handy-dandy development team loose on creating a machine that could create a small but perpetual cold front in our ventilation systems. Unfortunately, there was an “unintended feature” introduced by a mistranslation of “El Niño” which introduced a slight decay factor to the thermal oscillator’s automated dampener. Happens to the best of us, right? To make a long story short, the weather pattern got a bit larger than expected and escaped the building before it could be turned off, transforming approximately half of the country into an ice cube.
On the upside, being snowed in for a week allowed us to put the finishing touches on another thinkorswim release. Next time we’ll just call the HVAC guy. Seriously though, don’t tell anyone about this."