My quick two cents.
- Lots of good content but the pacing and storytelling was all over the map.
- The opening sequence was so over the top I thought this was going to be a comedy (seriously).
- The opening sequence is super doom and gloom, the title is "Death to Greek: The Party is Over", but the first 25% of the piece goes on and on about how awesome greek life is. As a viewer this is emotionally confusing and a confused viewer is likely to click someplace else. A little bit of how awesome greek life is good but the story should've moved onto Joseph's death w/in the first minute.
- Thon, while awesome, is talked about in way too much detail. It's a tangent that deviates too much from what the piece is stated to be about (the death of greek life). At most Thon should just be a brief sound bite showing how greek life at Penn State is more than just binge drinking.
- Don't use the Greek font for the lower thirds. Lower thirds should be almost subliminal. If I have to make a conscious effort to read the lower third I'm going to stop paying attention to the speaker which means I could miss something important and lose track of what's going on.
- The party montage starting around 3:20 was a nice break from the wall to wall talking heads and the piece could've used a few more moments like these. The audience can only take so much of people in chairs talking before they start to tune out what's being said.
- The audio was good overall although the narrator's voice was a little low compared to everything else.
- I was hoping to see interviews from school officials and possibly even local PD giving their perspective of events and why the took they actions they did. A large section of the piece felt like a cluster of clueless 20-somethings whining about 'the man' trying to bring them down.
Overall the piece has a lot of potential it is just not presented in a very cohesive fashion.
Lethal
