Please critique my design

Discussion in 'Design and Graphics' started by thebiggoose, Jun 1, 2007.

  1. thebiggoose macrumors 6502


    Jun 17, 2006
    I was wondering if you could please check out a logo-ish thingy I made. Just for some info, I'm not a pro doing this for a living. I'm just a 15 year old kid. I wanna go to EMU for Graphic Design. SO tell me what you think please! Make some about improvements.

  2. likeavaliant macrumors regular

    Oct 14, 2006
    get a better type choice, bud.
    it's hard to read.
  3. A Pittarelli macrumors 6502

    Jun 1, 2007
    yeah the color and overall design is good, but the font is chees - keep working on it!
  4. Father Jack macrumors 68020

    Father Jack

    Jan 1, 2007
    Yeah, the font is hard to read, but I like the colour

  5. SpyMaster macrumors newbie

    May 17, 2007
    In addition to the problems others have pointed out, the first thing I would ask you is, how is your design related to the products or services you would want to sell? I mean...the birds, the wings, the trees...even the do those elements relate to your business? I don't see connections there.

    Don't give up...keep working on it.
  6. milky23 macrumors regular

    Oct 23, 2005
    Yeah, I'm no expert, but I see no correlation between the trees, wings, and your name. However, looks like you have an eye for making things look nice. Promising color scheme, but the font needs to go in place of something more readable. Keep it up, though... I think you could really put out something great with a little more time.
  7. xfiftyfour macrumors 68030


    Apr 14, 2006
    Clemson, SC
    design isn't just about making something look pretty. It's about conveying a message that is aesthetically pleasing. What message are you trying to send?

    The typeface doesn't exactly portray professionalism, so like others have pointed out, I'd try some others. Also, with the way the text is broken up (by the "ground" line, the white bar, and the wings), it doesn't quite read right.

    Oh, and I might be alone on this, but I'm not a big fan of how all the "stuff" is in the middle, and there's nothing going on in the rest of square. I think you could space things out a bit more so that the center isn't so cluttered. Just a thought.

    And lastly - why is there a white dot/rectangle to the right of the tree?
  8. chadi macrumors member

    Apr 20, 2007
    Canada eh?
    The colours / theme you chose seems to portray a nature / earthy / 'green' (not green the colour, but green like environmentally friendly) type of company/image. If you are going for something more general, you might want to go with some deeper / brighter colours.

    That said, I really like your tree and birds but your text choice is worse then last weeks left overs left in the bottom of the fridge with the lid off...pretty nasty stuff eh?

    Scrub the text and repost and we can give you another round of jabs, I mean opinions :)

  9. snickelfritz macrumors 65816


    Oct 24, 2003
    Tucson AZ
    I would recommend that you practice using Illustrator and Photoshop to produce completely original works of art, until you can enroll in a graphic design school or college.

    For example, using only the path tools in Illustrator, design and draw the lettering for "Steven K. Mason". No fonts. No clipart. no stock images.
    Just you and your Mac.

  10. Belly-laughs macrumors 6502a


    Jun 8, 2003
    you wish
    Apart from not seeing the connection between video design and being 6 feet under (unless you´re dealing with morbid art), I do think there´s a story there somewhere.

    The tree is alive, home to the birds, symbolising peace/life/whatever… I feel the relationship between you and what´s alive could be in the roots of the tree – each letter connected to a branch of the roots, in a natural, random-ish fashion. Obviously, this will require a different typeface, existing tweaked or self-made.

    What really is the message you´re trying to convey here? Before you do a logo, it´s important to have a clear idea of what it should communicate.
  11. Abraxsis macrumors 6502


    Sep 23, 2003
    I like it. Don't listen to everyone about the whole "it doesnt relate" stuff. Lots of companies use designs that have zero to do with the market they are selling to. I mean what part of two colored wavy patterns for Pepsi says "mmm refreshing cola beverage?" Or the Golden Arches that in no way says "this stuff will make you fat" :p Your name and the "video design" part explains the market, the rest is just icing on the cake that shows youre creativity/aesthetic.

    Lord Im glad I was never classically trained, artistic/design elements should never be "prepackaged" in their application. Let me give you a case in point ... in college there was an art contest. The theme was "painting of an apple." Who was winner/person who got the most attention? Not the people who painted an apple on a canvas ... but the girl who painted a 10 foot tall paper mache apple that took 8 guys to carry in was in the paper for weeks.

    The lines arent to keep your art defined, theyre put there to show you where to exit it.
  12. Eric5h5 macrumors 68020

    Dec 9, 2004
    Um...the wavy lines do. The design doesn't have to literally depict the subject matter, but it should be symbolically suggestive of the image you want to convey. This design, I'm afraid, doesn't work on any level for me, for many of the reasons already stated. Having no training isn't an have to know the rules before you can break them successfully.

  13. 0007776 Suspended


    Jul 11, 2006
    Like a lot of people have already said, I like the colors, but the font could defiantly be better, it's a good try though, keep working on it and I think that you could become very good.
  14. sjshaw macrumors regular

    Feb 18, 2004
    It would make a nice t-shirt, but I agree with many of the other posters regarding its viability as a company/service logo.
  15. ezekielrage_99 macrumors 68040


    Oct 12, 2005
    I like the style, typography and colours used but change the font please and don't use Comic Sans either.
  16. oscuh macrumors 6502

    Apr 27, 2007
    I agree ... at some point, the very nature of doing something different is the defining aesthetic.

    And I like it ... maybe mess with the font a little bit and try to refine to make it all a little more "cohesive", but overall, I dig it.
  17. oscuh macrumors 6502

    Apr 27, 2007
    I'd like for you to further explain exactly how they do? Or is it merely we associate them with a tasty cola because we've been saturated with the image. Much like we associate the Nike Swoosh with cool running/sporting/whatever gear, and can then reflexively say it conveys speed, agility, whatever ...

    Says who? I have no formal training, and yet I consistently create solid designs that yes, sometimes break the rules, but work all the same. Hands on work and a good sense of aesthetic will train you as to what the rules are quite well, more often than not.
  18. imac/cheese macrumors 6502a

    Jun 7, 2007
    My first response was that it looks like a cool album cover from the 70s. I think it looks great.

    I like the font for your name even though others seem to think it looks bad. With those colors, I think the font looks fine. The only concern I have is that I am not sure if your middle initial is a K or an H. The font for the "video designs" looks a little cartoonish to me because it is a bubble font. I like the other type better.

    I was a little confused about the white hummingbird. The other birds have a sort of dove/pigeon shape but the one bird is a hummingbird. Is there some sort of significance to that?
  19. darwen macrumors 6502a


    Apr 12, 2005
    California, US
    I think it looks pretty cool. I didnt read through all the other responses so I am not really sure what everyone else is saying. Seems a bit wide, personaly I like designs more centered around something. Maybe stack the text a little more instead of spreading it out. Just a thought. I like it though!
  20. macrumors newbie

    Jun 6, 2007
    hey i like it.
    why dont you use your initials instead of your whole name?
    it needs to be read at a glance (and hopefully remembered)

    i dont think it has to have anything to do with the product your offering.
    nothing like that at all. for example - adidas, apple, etc.

    i like the wings around the bottom letter, it seems to tie in with the birds at the top.

    def. need to refine it, but youre on the right track.

    keep posting updates!
  21. decksnap macrumors 68040


    Apr 11, 2003
    The problem with this example is that Pepsi has been around for over 100 years. Their logo could a freaking tree with doves flying around it and you'd still think 'Pepsi'. ;)

    I'm not a fan of this design for many reasons... mostly because it seems to be driven by 'looking cool', (which it misses), and unless I'm missing something, has no meaningful connection to the business. It just looks like a copy of some bad Deviant Art desktop compositions. Constructively speaking, that is.
  22. oscuh macrumors 6502

    Apr 27, 2007
    That was my point in using this example... Eric5h5 said that the wavy lines in a Pepsi logo conveyed tasty refreshing beverage. My point was that we only make that association since we've been bombarded with the image, not because that's what the logo actually conveys ...

    And as a sidenote, despite being around for 100 years (109 years TBE) they didn't implement the wavy lines until 1950, which was used on a "bottle-cap" logo above and below a rather Coca-Cola-esque type treatment of Pepsi-Cola. The modern/linear/refined implementation was released in 1973. :D
  23. decksnap macrumors 68040


    Apr 11, 2003
    Yes... my point being their logo doesn't need to convey much meaning, but this one does. They are a household name. This guy is not.
  24. kcross macrumors member

    Jun 8, 2007
    the shape of the pepsi logo likely resulted from the desire to imprint it on the bottle caps. the bottlecap shape (and the fact that they included a bottlecap with the logo in nearly all original ads) obviously doesnt strike a chord with many people today, but you need to look at it in the original context. it drew an association between the round logo and bottlecaps: you see a round logo, you think bottle cap, you think refreshing drink. the "waves" can be associated with a liquid. i think there have even been several ads in which the "waves" act like real waves. the colors are obviously no coincidence given that the ad was launched in the 50's.

    overall id say that the pepsi logo delivers exactly the message it was intended to... an all-american beverage.

    @ the original poster
    getting the correct message across with your logo is essential. keep working on it. make ten or fifteen logo, do them all in different styles and continue to ask others for their input. always remember that when your doing art for a business its important to love your work but try not to fall in love with any particular piece because it might not be best suited for what you are trying to say. always remember you can use a design that didnt work for one project in a later project (assuming no legal barriers exist).
  25. hsotnicaM macrumors regular

    Jun 19, 2007
    It has been my experience clients most often pick the design you liked the least. :rolleyes: It's always good to design multiple pieces from scratch. You might even incorporate items from differing ones to make the final piece.

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