Plugged in... but NOTHING is happening.

[fairyfeetfive]

My MacBook is plugged into its charger and absolutely nothing is happening. I don't even see the charging battery symbol! (You know how sometimes you'll plug it in and see the battery symbol, but it'll say "Battery not charging"?" Yeah, not even that.)

Any help/advice anyone could give me would be super appreciated.

Oh also, MacBook is nearly two, the age of a small toddler.

And I sincerely apologize for my snarkcasm (snarky sarcasm). Technology doesn't love me, even though I throw myself at it.

*UPDATE* I just reset the SMC, to no avail. What next?

 

[Tomorrow]

Oh also, MacBook is nearly two, the age of a small toddler.

Oh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up. I was wondering how old a 2-year-old MacBook REALLY is.

 

[GGJstudios]

Reset the SMC. This should answer most, if not all, of your battery questions:

Apple Notebook Battery FAQ​

 

[fairyfeetfive]

Reset the SMC.
Thanks for your suggestion GGJStudios! Sadly, my MacBook would have none of this SMC resetting, though!

Anyone else? Anyone at all?

 

[ux4all]

I'm not a support guy, but I've run into this issue in the past when I allowed my battery to drain completely dead. It would not boot up, not charge, it literally sat dead.

It sounds like your machine is up and running, but the battery is no longer accepting a charge?

 

[GGJstudios]

Reset the SMC.
Thanks for your suggestion GGJStudios! Sadly, my MacBook would have none of this SMC resetting, though!

Anyone else? Anyone at all?

What do you mean, it "would have none of this SMC resetting"? Do you mean you successfully reset the SMC, but it didn't have an effect? Or do you mean you weren't able to reset the SMC?