If you have the Actiontec router, here's how to set it up (Step by step as I know people who know more about computers then me get confused by the Actiontec router's layout):
1. go to: 192.168.1.1 in safari. default user/pass are admin/password
2. Click "Firewall Settings" on the top
3. Click "Port Forwarding" on the left
4. Hit "Yes" to continue
5. Hit "Add"
6. Under "Specify Address, select your Mac's hostname
If iPhone Remote is VNC renamed (I dont have an iPhone, and a quick Google search didnt answer my question so I'm not sure, but i suspect it is..),
7. Hit "Specify Protocol" and then "Show All Services" and scroll down to VNC
8. Hit "Apply" three times
If iPhone Remote isnt VNC:
7. Under "Protocol", hit "Add"
8. Name it "iPhone Remote" or whatever you want.
9. Hit "Add Server Ports"
10. Change Protocol to TCP
11. Change "Destination Ports" to "Single" and add the port used by iPhone Remote to the box next to it
12. Hit "Apply" three times
If you have the D-Link router and not the Actiontec, you're out of luck - my D-Link broke down and Verizon replaced it with the Actiontec instead
Oh, and dont forget to allow the connections to be made using those ports in OS X's firewall if you have it enabled as well (System Preferences > Sharing > Firewall, If it's VNC, then just check "Apple Remote Desktop" otherwise create a new rule for the firewall .. "New.." > Other > TCP Port only)