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Post Your Airport/Plane Horror Story

steve2112 said:
Woah, the P3 Orion. Are those Harpoons slung underneath?
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We could carry almost anything.
I can neither confirm nor deny their ability to carry nuclear weapons. I can confirm I am trained to do so (I have the certificate!:p and it doesn't say classified!)
In the Balkins they had F18's shooting them, but the P3's were up onstation for long hours with multiple mavericks if and when needed.
 
stubeeef said:
We could carry almost anything.
I can neither confirm nor deny their ability to carry nuclear weapons. I can confirm I am trained to do so (I have the certificate!:p and it doesn't say classified!)
In the Balkins they had F18's shooting them, but the P3's were up onstation for long hours with multiple mavericks if and when needed.
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Cool, I didn't know they could carry Mavericks. When I first saw the pic, I thought they were Sidewinders, which seemed a bit odd. Although it shouldn't be, since almost every other plane (and helicopter!) in the US military can carry them. :)
 
Almost forgot a nasty one..

Flying ice ops out of Thule AFB Greenland over the North Pole keeping tabs on the Russkies. We always flew out to the same lat/long for ingress/egress. This was 1990 and GPS was still new to some crews (like ours). All planes used the same point. BAD idea.

So while coming home after a long mission over the north pole at 500' for hours.....we are all chatting up a storm about how much we are going to be drinking after landing. Then a crew member in the cockpit says "LOOK OUT!"
Non of the crew was looking where we were going (autopilot, artic, below airline altitudes) we were about to smack head on to the outgoing P3 (one outgoing, one onstation, on coming home). I quick vear to the right and we missed each other by a hair. We got the ingress/egress points moved 10nm apart after landing.

I was flying from S Korea to Japan. Bad weather, thick clouds, icing. There is a tiny break in the clouds that is filled with the belly of a 747 going the opposite direction! We missed by 200' at most. Controllers claimed there was nothing there!!!!
 
A few annoyances, but all turned out OK.

Coming home from a cruise, from Puerto Rico to JFK, flight was overbooked, they asked people to get off and get on the next plane 1/2 hour later. They got a few, but nobody wanted to get stuck in PR. They backed our plane about 3 feet from the terminal, pulled up a portable stair case, then the captain and crew shut off the plane, got out and locked the door. We then notice some guy eating lunch on the wing. An hour later, he starts to work on the engine. 5 Hours later he finishes. No power in 100 degree heat and we sat and watched plane after plane leave the gate right next to us. We actually had 2 women passed out and they wouldn't send any help. There was almost a revolt on the plane, police, the whole deal. They wanted to arrest everyone! LOL

Coming home from Reno through Dallas to JFK. Our Reno flight left late, they told us that the connecting plane would wait... Don't worry about it. We pull in at like gate 2 and we had to connect at say gate 579! A bit of an exaggeration, but not by much (probably about 3/4 mile run). I hear last call as all these folks were jumping on these little flat bed transports. I tell my buddy we better get running or we're going to miss it. No kidding, they are closing the door as we run up, we tell them there's a bunch of people coming as our flight was late. The stewardess tell's me, no problem, we'll wait. We sat down and the door was already shut. We were pulling away and looked out the window to see all the faces pissed off and looking at us from the terminal window. Wasn't a nightmare for me, but it sucked for them. Shockingly, our luggage made the flight. Got back and a baggage handler tried to steal my damn snow skis.

Another Flight from Lagaurdia to Las Vegas. They call me and tell me to be at the airport early, the flight times have changed. I rush home from work early, get to the airport 2 hours earlier than I was supposed to only to find out that the plane hadn't even left the other airport yet (around 2PM). They kept lying to us until the terminal closed and told us if we left, they wouldn't let us back in. Watched the Yankees playoff game in the bar (wasn't too bad) and they told us they would stay open until our plane came. During the 7th inning, the bartender shuts off the electric in the place and pulls the gate down and tells us to get out (around 9:30 PM). Around 12:30 AM, the plane finally pulls in and they shuffle us on. The plane is dirty, there's still drool on the seat along with the blanket from the previous passenger. I had first class tickets, there was no food, no soda and only that nasty tap water to drink. Got to Vegas, they gave my damn room away and they were booked. That really sucked as we were away from our kids for the first time ever and we were only there for 4 days.

Oh well, other's have had worse...
 
On spending the night at the airport

Sleeping in the airport is one thing I wouldn't want to do. I will really end up pitying myself. I'm a sucker for the word organize so whenever I plan a trip, I make sure the airport limo or service is reputable. I go over its background and communicate with the people there prior to my scheduled flight. Oh you're story had made me more paranoid than I already am.
 
Les Kern said:
I was on a flight to Jakarta about 10 years ago.
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Congratulations, sir, I think you've just won the prize for the nastiest story in the thread. :D Second and third place goes to the Navy guys. ;) (Though if I were looking at it from a pilot's perspective, I'd probably swap it around.)

Your prize? A plateful of Chicago's finest pizza, beer, and wings. :D Congratulations, winner! :)
 
Okay. I'm game. Here's the first of two.

I was on my way from Omaha, Nebraska, to Melbourne Australia, via Denver and LAX. Route was OMA-DEN-LAX-AKL-MEL. I remembered that the host family I was staying with (for my college scholarship) had loved Cinnabons. So I bought 2 boxes of those and carried them with me. Not a problem on the flight there, until a nice little layover in Auckland, New Zealand. Get there at 5am in the morning, have no idea where you need to go, but you see what the other people are doing and going where they're going. So I follow them, miss the (barely visible) sign to the in-transit area, follow the people, and enter the country! Can't get back, get the police called on me because I'm not supposed to be *in* New Zealand, and after 20 minutes, they finally let me back to the transit area. Get something to eat and sit down (12 hours in a plane with another 3 to go!), when I hear louder than a klaxon on the USS Intrepid, "Flight 841 to Melbourne is now departing at Gate 5. Passengers should already be on board as the flight will be leaving without you."

So I make like Usain Bolt down the airport, make it to the gate, for them to tell me that they haven't even done the pre-boarding yet!

Make the plane, Fly across the Tasman Sea, then get the dreaded Customs Declaration card. I read the card: Any Guns, knives, hunting equipment, Duty-Free for some dollar amount, and money over some amount must be declared. No dairy allowed.

And I have these cinnamon rolls. With Cream Cheese Frosting! Do I declare them, or not! This is my first trip out of the country, and I don't want to get busted and arrested and send back home! Not knowing what to do, I declare them.

Get to Tullamarine in Melbourne, where they have a green line, and a red line. Guess which one the declared items are! Down the Red line I go, get asked the 150 questions from the customs officials (what do you do, how much do you make, what do your parents do, how much do they make, how long have they done it).. They look at my passport (which the pictures there are worse, because the best passport picture they pick is the one where you've been up cramming for some big exam in the morning!), ask me some more questions, then walk away for a bit. I look at the next line over.. Some guy is putting together an elephant rifle, shotguns, unsheathing knives.. things that Steve Irwin, Paul Hogan, and some other Bring 'em Back Bogey wild game-hunting guys would use to go out into the bush alone and would be guaranteed to come back after 3 weeks without a scratch..

.. and all I have are these cinnamon rolls! So I'm panicking.. I mean, PANICKING!! Like they could hear my knees knocking back in New Zealand! And what scared me more was that they let those guys enter the country, and before me!!

Thankfully, they let me in. All that they needed to take (which they did), was the extra packets of frosting. Bullets, knives, machetes, rifles all PASS, and they ding me for CREAM CHEESE FROSTING!!

Gotta love air travel.

BL.
 
Let me preface my story with another story.

Grandma decided to take our whole family, aunts, uncles, cousins...on a cruise over Christmas break. WOO! I'm was stoked.

Fast-forward to the last day of the cruise. Everything had gone well up until now, but I awoke on the morning of our last hike back to port and was not feeling so hot.

I had gotten the elusive flu (Norwalk) virus. I'm sure you remember the news a few years back when everyone was getting sick.

So I was throwing up all the way back to port and just generally miserable. Finally we get back to port and my dad starts feeling sick. As we're sitting in the lobby of the cruise ship waiting to leave, my dad throws up. He didn't have a bag or anything and all they could find in a last ditch effort was this big serving tray; great thinking.

So he's miserable to the point of us needing to get him a wheelchair. Our flight didn't leave until late that afternoon and we arrived in port early that morning (~8:00am) so we had to do something for the rest of the day. We decide to go to the Everglades and go on a fan boat tour of the swamps.

Long story short, I was dry-heaving on the tour bus all the way there and my dad just felt like he was going to die, though I don't think he actually got sick.

Fast-forwarding to the airport. By now, I'm feeling better-ish, my brother has started feeling sick, and my dad is still feeling crappy (my sister had been sick earlier in the cruise but was better by now). We're waiting in the terminal and 10 minutes before boarding, my mom starts feeling sick. If you should know anything about my mom, know that she can get motion-sickness in a movie theater.

Great.

So we board the plane, wait to taxi out, and then begin heading out to the runway. We are LITERALLY the next plane in line and my mom gets out of her seat and lays on the floor. The flight attendant is like "Ma'am, please get back in your seat and fasten your seatbelt." Little does she know, however, that my mom is passed out and will begin throwing up in about 25 seconds. Luckily they get a bag for her to yammy into just in time.

They end up TURNING THE PLANE AROUND, calling an ambulance, and EMTs carry her off in a stretcher. My dad, albeit still pretty sick, goes with her to the hospital, and gives us his credit card and $40.00 to go to a hotel for the night. When we leave in the cab, he says to the driver "I swear if you don't take my kids directly to the hotel, I will find you."

My mom is monitored all night and we finally leave the next day. You can imagine how paranoid we all were the next day on our flight.

And to this day, I refuse to go on another cruise. Maybe it was just bad luck. Or maybe Davy Jones was pissed at me. Who knows.
 
I wrote this rant while I was flying a couple weeks back:

Thank you to the pilot who didnt check his plane because we were already 1 hour behind schedule, so when we were about to take off the left engine just turned off, right on the runway.

Thank you to the guy behind me who spent the whole four hours of the flight massaging my kidneys with your constant kicks. The bloody seat can't go any higher and I have the same crappy leg room as you.

Thank you to the woman one row over who decided to change her kids diaper while in your seat. Yes thanks to you the entire plane was aware that you precious filled up his diaper. And btw at his age he does not need a pacifier or diapers.

To the people who barge in line and try to board as fast as possible. Wait your bloody turn. We are all going on the same plane and our seats are assigned. Why the rush to get into the non airconditioned cabin.
To the woman who barged to front of line for the washroom. The seven of us there weren't standing around chatting.

To the 450lbs man sitting next to me on the connecting flight. Get two seats next time. And lose 100lbs. Hint Do not eat 4 bigmacs in a 1 hour flight.
 
Leareth said:
I wrote this rant while I was flying a couple weeks back:

Thank you to the pilot who didnt check his plane because we were already 1 hour behind schedule, so when we were about to take off the left engine just turned off, right on the runway.

Thank you to the guy behind me who spent the whole four hours of the flight massaging my kidneys with your constant kicks. The bloody seat can't go any higher and I have the same crappy leg room as you.

Thank you to the woman one row over who decided to change her kids diaper while in your seat. Yes thanks to you the entire plane was aware that you precious filled up his diaper. And btw at his age he does not need a pacifier or diapers.

To the people who barge in line and try to board as fast as possible. Wait your bloody turn. We are all going on the same plane and our seats are assigned. Why the rush to get into the non airconditioned cabin.
To the woman who barged to front of line for the washroom. The seven of us there weren't standing around chatting.

To the 450lbs man sitting next to me on the connecting flight. Get two seats next time. And lose 100lbs. Hint Do not eat 4 bigmacs in a 1 hour flight.
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I'm confused, was it a one hour flight, or a four hour flight, or is this just made up?
 
Nadav said:
I'm confused, was it a one hour flight, or a four hour flight, or is this just made up?
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Could be that thanks to the kidney-massaging, the one hour flight felt more like a four hour flight. :D (Or was taking several different flights that day.)
 
Webers said:
Beat this.

Anything to top that?
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Yup. Sticking strictly with commercial flights, flying in Africa, SE and Central Asia makes most of the above stories relatively tame.

Times when I've been stuck AT THE AIRPORT. No hotels, no getting out. Commercial flights only:

  • Nairobi, Kenya, 14-72 hours. Multiple times, multiple screwups. It was nicer when you could smoke in the airport. The guys on the restaurant on the 3rd floor will let you go in the kitchen and smoke with them once you get to know them but management has cracked down on them.
  • Antananarivo, Madagascar, ~60 hours. Typhoon
  • Eastern Malaysia, 36 hours, Typhoon
  • Kigali, Rwanda. 18 hours. Security detainment. I woke up (came to) on the wrong plane to the wrong country, so this was more or less my fault.

I could go on, but it's more of the same.

Bush flights, on the other hand, make commercial screwups seem easy. At least you get flush toilets.

I once waited for 5 days at an airstrip. Plane got stuck in the mud and it kept raining. Then the plane wouldn't start and the plane they sent with the mechanic and the spare parts got stuck on another section of the airstrip. Then the mechanic came down with malaria. Then one of the pilots got arrested for taking pictures. I knew the police commander in the area - "Yeah, we know the guy's an idiot, but you gotta let him go. He's the only guy who can fly the plane. And we need the plane to get supplies in and out."

Then there's this one particular airstrip in the South Kivu. When the South African ECHO and the American AirServ pilots are telling you that it's the most interesting place they've flown into, you know it's going to be hairy. Diamond mining area, Russian/Ukrainian mercenaries, and it's not really an airstrip. Quite literally a good section of (crooked) road that's closed off. Being in the middle of the jungle and the road curving around the trees, you can't see the other end from where the planes start. And the Congolese police, being Congolese, sometimes forget to close off one end of the road. I've witnessed several near missed between vehicles carrying 50+ passengers and planes taking off. Also, unexploded ordinance in the trees, so don't go there. The planes that crash there, they just pull off to the side. No ****, there's carcasses of freaking BIPLANES there.

Then there was the time where we had to medevac one of our expats ASAP. As a general rule, the respectable pilots and/or respectable organizations don't fly at night. This time was the exception. Problem: No landing lights. Solution: two vehicles with a couple 20L jerrycans of kero/parrafin/diesel on either side of the strip. The plane will orbit the strip, which means it's time to drive down either side of strip trailing the fuel out behind the vehicles. Then light the fuel on fire. Pilot will try to land between the two lines of fire. It actually worked.
 
Signal-11 said:
Then there's this one particular airstrip in the South Kivu. Quite literally a good section of (crooked) road that's closed off. Being in the middle of the jungle and the road curving around the trees, you can't see the other end from where the planes start. And the Congolese police, being Congolese, sometimes forget to close off one end of the road. I've witnessed several near missed between vehicles carrying 50+ passengers and planes taking off. Also, unexploded ordinance in the trees, so don't go there. The planes that crash there, they just pull off to the side. No ****, there's carcasses of freaking BIPLANES there.
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Possibly not the same place but it's spot on with what you described and in the Congo -- incredible video clip of the views and takeoff from the cockpit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEN_mwn_NaM
 
electroshock said:
Possibly not the same place but it's spot on with what you described and in the Congo -- incredible video clip of the views and takeoff from the cockpit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEN_mwn_NaM
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LOL. That is in fact, EXACTLY airstrip I was referring to in the second story. It's crazy because that road goes all the way to Kisangani but for some strange reason, that little section is paved. So that's where the planes land.

At 0:28 of the video, there's a little cemented area with a dirt patch off to the right. That's where we used to stop, offload and turn the plane around (quickly) because the pilots who fly us in wanted nothing to do with the what was going on further down the strip. The outfit that we flew with had Cessna Grand Caravans and since they landed short, the first thing the pilot would do is hook a hard right as soon as the plane hit the ground, followed by slamming on the brakes (?). When I get on commercial flights and someone complains about a bumpy landing, I think to myself, "Dude, you have NO idea."

That's a Let-410 in the video, a twin engined plane taking off and from watching it, it's not loaded, because when they take off fully loaded with ore, the plane has to go around the corner to pick up speed enough speed to take off. Most of the pilots for those planes are eastern Europeans/ex Soviets. I've seen them drinking vodka minutes before they took off. There's one independent, respectable pilot (I want to say his name is Ted) who flies the Let-410 in there and he told me he hated flying in because the curve and the trees are so close, if the pilot screws up a little bit, no one in that plane is walking away. He used to fly our diesel fuel and kerosene into us in leaky 200L drums and I always made sure I had something to hide behind in case he crashed and sent flaming diesel fuel everywhere.
 
Any airline going through Chicago(hell any Greyhound bus for that matter) it's the worst place to change planes in the entire country and it's the worst travel stop over period I've traveled into or through Chicago more times than I care to count.
 
I have previously posted my "worst airline experience ever" story. I'll do a search and post back a link in this post, because it was quite the story. I laugh now, looking back, but it was one of those experiences that was so awful, so surreal, that you keep asking yourself, "is this really happening?!"

Here it is: https://forums.macrumors.com/posts/3564874/

Enjoy.
 
I have had only good experiences so far, though I have flown quite a lot. I'll post them in the good experiences thread when somebody starts it.

mbpnewbie said:
anyway, I got to passport control( I was flying internationally) and found I lost my passport..
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I went through something quite similar recently. About a month back, I was returning to India after completing my postgraduate study in the UK. At Heathrow terminal 3, I checked in (direct Jet Airways flight from LHR to BOM), cleared the security check and was waiting in the international departure area as I had a while for my flight to board (I'm not sure, but I don't think my gate was even announced yet). So I wander around looking at the shops. I find a WHSmith (a bookstore that they have in the UK), pull out a few titles from the shelves and read the descriptions on the back covers, then put the books back. Then I go to a Starbucks and order a white chocolate mocha. After I get the coffee, I add a packet of sugar, then a second, then a third, and then as I start to stir, the realization suddenly strikes me: "Wait a minute, wasn't I holding my passport and boarding pass in this hand a few minutes ago"? :eek: :confused: I frantically open my baggage and look through, and search my pockets, but to no avail... An ice-cold hand gripped my heart like a vice! Would I be put into the illegal immigrants prison and left there for ever? Frantically, I retrace my footsteps. I go back to a few of the shops I passed but nothing that looks like my passport is to be seen. Then I reach the WHSmith and I see my passport and boarding pass on one of the shelves where I had pulled out a book to read its back cover! Phew!! :D Anyways, all's well that ends well!
 
Back in 1997, my British Airways flight from London Heathrow to Chicago had to make an emergency landing in Montreal because a morbidly obese gentleman in first class was having a heart attack. It took them FOUR HOURS to haul his fat ass off the plane and finish the required paperwork so we could take off again.

And I've had to sprint through the Detroit airport more times than I can count because of Northworst Airlines screwing me in one way or another. Horrible airline, and an even more horrible airport.
 
NEENAHBOY said:
Back in 1997, my British Airways flight from London Heathrow to Chicago had to make an emergency landing in Montreal because a morbidly obese gentleman in first class was having a heart attack. It took them FOUR HOURS to haul his fat ass off the plane and finish the required paperwork so we could take off again.

And I've had to sprint through the Detroit airport more times than I can count because of Northworst Airlines screwing me in one way or another. Horrible airline, and an even more horrible airport.
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That's always wonderful when you land at your transfer point to find out you only have 2 minutes to get across the entire terminal usually a mile to catch the next flight
 
About 4 years ago I was going to the Bahamas with my family, the day after Christmas. We got on the plane and there was a large family with about 30 people onboard. We are talking and it turns out the plane was overbooked and the grandmother of this family was not able to get on. So, this grandmother was basically all alone. So the airline was doing there thing and they offered a $150 ticket thing, and they would not get you on another plane. So basically, it was a horrible deal. So the father of this family started to get really pissed because nobody was going to accept that deal. The tickets for this were well over $500 each, and the airline was doing jack to make it right. Eventually this b*tch flight attendant decided to call the cops and she started to cry because she said this family, my family, and a a few others were harassing her...get this harassing her. So NYPD cops got on the plane and arrested the father, mother, and removed the kids from the plane. The plane was supposed to take off at 8:30AM, we finally left at about 10:00AM. I have never seen such a brawl on an airplane before...amazing how much power a flight attendant has.
 
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