Provide a Funny Caption! Before and After

Discussion in 'Picture Gallery' started by browserman, Oct 12, 2005.

  1. browserman macrumors newbie

    May 2, 2004
    Provide a caption or a paragraph for these "Before and After" photos. (Relaxing fun )

    How did the man in the LEFT photo turn into the man in the RIGHT photo?
    What happened to him?
    What is his story?
    (the more ludicrous the better
    :D )
  2. xraydoc macrumors demi-god


    Oct 9, 2005
  3. Sdashiki macrumors 68040


    Aug 11, 2005
    Behind the lens
    They arent the same guy, thusly your proposal is moot.
  4. stonyc macrumors 65816


    Feb 15, 2005
    That's what you get when you combine equal parts Company Office Party, One Too Many Peach Kamikaze's, and One 17-Year Old Daughter of Company CEO.
  5. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    Yuppieman knew his secret identity was safe, nobody would ever suspect Joe Bloggs, the overweight, semi-retarded auto mechanic. By day he changed tyres - badly, but the people who knew him were ready to forgive that cause he was "a bit slow." By night, he was faster than the come-down off some rotten charlie, more powerful than Gordon Gekko, able to leap tall pimps in a single bound - he was YUPPIEMAN!!
  6. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    "The Apprentice" my arse!!

    That Donald Trump is full of sh*t man.
  7. dornoforpyros macrumors 68040


    Oct 19, 2004
    Calgary, AB
    Before the morning starbucks latte,
    After the morning starbucks latte
  8. jeremy.king macrumors 603


    Jul 23, 2002
    Fuquay Varina, NC
    Upside Down in 90 Days.

    Jeremy King
    Staff Reporter

    Guess you can't have your cake and eat it too...

    Creamy Chrispy Donut Company CEO, John Important, was fired last Thursday after bitter divorce drove him to donut addiction where he singlehandedly consumed almost all of CCDC's bottom line.

    Mr. Important of Springfield was sitting atop the donut kingdom until his adulturous wife decided to end the 26 year marriage, citing body odor as the cause. The bitter divorce precedings ended last May, with Mrs. Important - now known as Sugar Mama - being awarded $30 million including the shirt off of John's back.

    Due to the loss of his nest egg and wife, John spiraled into a deep depression and began a donut consumption marathon which ultimately led to his dismisal from the CCDC.

    John has since taken on odd jobs including an internship at the Topless Tire Shop (pictured above). Despite the turn for the worse, John was excited about starting over and has starting dating a blue haired stay at home mom, Marge. Asked about his recent decline, John simply replied "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"
  9. browserman thread starter macrumors newbie

    May 2, 2004
    best one yet..... :)
  10. browserman thread starter macrumors newbie

    May 2, 2004
    Don't take it seriously. It's just harmless humor! ;) :)
  11. browserman thread starter macrumors newbie

    May 2, 2004
    nice - especially By day he changed tyres - badly, but the people who knew him were ready to forgive that cause he was "a bit slow." :D
  12. jsw Moderator emeritus


    Mar 16, 2004
    Andover, MA
    What happened to 90's tycoons who put all of their money into
  13. browserman thread starter macrumors newbie

    May 2, 2004

    I'll toss in one of my own:

    BEFORE: "I'm stopping at the Jones Brothers garage to pick up the Porsche. I used to know them in high school. What a bunch of losers; all four of them!

    They were learning how to fix cars while I was named "Most Likely to Succeed". Now it's twenty years later and they own this crummy garage, and I am a $200,000 a year investment banker. My SOCKS cost more than they make in a day! But they do know engines!

    When I dropped off the car they recognized me. They started joking. They said they always resented me back in high school. They told me they would find a way to bring me down off my high horse and turn me from an executive into a grease monkey!

    ME! A GREASE MONKEY! In a $2,000 suit, $100 tie, cufflinks and Italian shoes! I asked them how they planned to do it? They said they would steal my wallet and my identity and take all of my savings and sell all my stocks; then they would ruin my credit; then they would take my car and office keys and my briefcase, take my suit and tie, and even take the Italian shoes right off my feet; then they would stuff me with junk food, teach me to talk like a Bubba and put me to work as their assistant.

    They really put a lot of thought into this crazy joke!

    I joked with then too, and told them I would never do menial work. What a bunch of jokers they are! What can you expect? Gotta go - I'm at the garage...."

    AFTER: six months later: "They're using my Ferragamo wingtips for a spittoon. Some people wait a long time for revenge..."
  14. SummerBreeze macrumors 6502a


    Sep 11, 2005
    Chicago, IL
    Joe Yuppie lived a happy life until he found out that his ex-girlfriend was a member of an elite black-ops sector of the CIA. When he phoned her for a booty call aboard his yacht, she agreed. Unbeknownst to her, she had been followed by a group of Romanian spies who were trying to steal a top-secret technology: an implantable chip that allows you to play video games inside your brain, effectively letting anyone pretend to pay attention while actually trying to get Mario to the next level.

    Joe had failed to satisfy his spy-ex Sadie by the time the Romanians showed up. Sadie had to knock out the Romanians whilst wearing sluttly red-lingerie while Joe watched in awe. When Joe told Sadie how much he had enjoyed the cat-fight, she slapped him because he was being inappropriate. They then rehashed all the fights they had had while they were together, and Sadie stormed away.

    The next day, CIA operatives knocked on Joe's door and informed him that he had been seen by some really bad Romanian mafia dude, and that he would have to go into the witness protection program. "Don't worry," the operative said, "Sadie made a request for how to take care of you, you'll be just fine."

    Six months later, Joe is now working at the Domingez Brother's Garage under the alias Carlos. At first he felt the position to be beneath him, but after repeated government brainwashings he's never felt better.
  15. homerjward macrumors 68030


    May 11, 2004
    fig tree
  16. ecche macrumors regular

    Dec 14, 2003
    a very kiwi place
    "Darling, guess what, I got that fabulous job! I'll be 'turning the wheels of the industry' they said and I can start right away..."
  17. browserman thread starter macrumors newbie

    May 2, 2004
    Ha, ha :D

    This is great: At first he felt the position to be beneath him, but after repeated government brainwashings he's never felt better. Joe the suited yuppie becomes Carlos the grease monkey, and he likes it! - our government can do anything!

    I can see the brainwashing sessions: "You never wore expensive suits. You never went to college. What gucci shoes? What condo? Repeat after me, Carlos...." :eek:
  18. browserman thread starter macrumors newbie

    May 2, 2004
    chuckle :) I would like to see the job interview. :D
  19. w_parietti22 macrumors 68020

    Apr 16, 2005
    Seattle, WA
    Before Switching to a Mac ^^^
    After Switching to a Mac ^^^

  20. browserman thread starter macrumors newbie

    May 2, 2004

    BEFORE: Alexander Smythe, corporate executive and Ivy League graduate, was confident, happy, successful - but he had one problem. He had been hearing a voice in his head for years.

    It was the voice of his inner bubba.

    He did his best to ignore it, to drown it out, but each day he felt it coming after him - trying to destroy his identity and take over his mind.

    "You know you ain't got a chance, suit boy" said the voice. "You ain't meant for this high and mighty job or those fancy clothes or that stupid high-class attitude. I'm gonna take you over and make you the man you're meant to be - a Joe just give up!"

    Alexander Smythe struggled against the voice. He did his best, until finally, one day...he drove up to an auto body shop....

    AFTER: ....and gave up.
  21. jeffzoom macrumors member

    Oct 8, 2004

    thats what happened when he started watching Lost......
  22. Phat_Pat macrumors 68000


    May 8, 2004
    I Live Where I Live
    Hookers cost alot of money, and when they slip things into your beer you get the munchies. When your mug appears of CNN for a federal offense that you committed when you had the munchies and you are locked in a room for 3 years without the ability of any exercise you gain alot of weight.

    He's stealing those tires by the way. With a few cuts they'll make a good roof for that dumpster
  23. cgratti macrumors 6502a


    Dec 28, 2004
    Central Pennsylvania, USA
    I used to work at ENRON.


    Bill Gates in 2005 and Bill again in 2007 after releasing Longhorn.
  24. cheekyspanky macrumors 6502a


    Jan 21, 2004
    South Bucks, UK
    Herpes: The real life truth.

    (That's a Mark II Vauxhall Astra/Opel Kadett on the ramp just in case anyone was wondering..)

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