Answer then: use another email client.
Unfortunately, that was the conclusion I came to in the mid-2000s. I used to love Apple's Mail (and Claris' before that). But, Apple just doesn't take their apps seriously. When stuff goes wrong, they may or may not get around to fixing it, next month, next year, or next decade. Who knows?
I switched to using Postbox which has been quite stable. The UI isn't quite as nice, but it works quite well. The biggest thing I miss is the Apple-style print preview, and that it doesn't seem to use the default Apple text handling (ie. when you highlight a word and right-click, you get a different set of options). I'm guessing it is using the web engine or something, as I think it is based on Thunderbird.