Like I said, everything you said has value in the real world. You sound like a very well educated individual and I wish you luck in your endeavors. But, let me bestow one small piece of wisdom that I usually give to my new recruits here in the office. "Never let your craft become your job. When you stop enjoying it, do one of two things. Figure out what happened, and fix it. Or jump ship." In your post I never really got the feeling of whether you truly enjoyed what you do, just where your degree can and will take you. I hope this isn't the case.
Best Regards.
Thanks for the reply!
The quote you said reminds me a lot of something my grandfather told me long ago before he died. I've heard it other places and many ways as well but I can remember exactly how he said it, the look in his eyes, and what he was referring to, even though I was only 10 years old. (He was missing my grandmother and he didn't get a chance to say goodbye before she passed away.) Unfortunately he died about 6 months later.
🙁
I will always remember what he said to me though:
"When you can no longer recognize the man staring back at you when you look into the mirror, you'll know that it is time for you to stop and retrace your steps back to the last time you did recognize that man. Only there will you find your true self."
You know, when I graduated high school I was going for a Doctorate in medicine. I can remember from when I was little, I always said, "I want to be a doctor!" Every kid says that. I started to too. I went to school at 16 to get some General Education classes out of the way at the community college. When I graduated from high school I started out at the area university. I took premed courses and other classes that would help me in that area. I started to realize that it was my parents spoon feeding me what they wanted me to be. Not what I wanted. Kind of like the debate of nature vs. nurture, where they nurtured the desire for me to become a doctor. ("Yes, I know some psychology, try not to have a heart attack" - lol, sorry, watching the movie Serenity right now and took Mal's quote and made it kind of into one of my own. Come on, if I could think a light meter is a communications device when I was 5 I'm still a little bit of a nerd at 22!)
I wasn't happy. I didn't like the medical field. I started to realize that I was always kind of forced into the medical field. I remember my parents saying I hope you can become a doctor. Two quarters after I started at the University I was back home for Spring Break (I know, I'm lame
😉) but I was going through some old boxes of my grandfather's. I found boxes of his old photographs. Stuff I didn't even know about. I found some of his old camera equipment.
And it all fit into place. I can remember him getting me a little point and shoot camera when I was little. I remember his light meter when I was like 5 because I acted like it was some kind of communication device like in sci-fi show or movie. Then I thought back to high school and what I was good at.
I was in the media club all four years. I worked on everything in that club - video, photos, music, etc. And I enjoyed it. A lot!
I had taken some dark room and design classes in high school and college but I never really thought anything of it. Come to find out I was getting better grades in those classes (99 and 100) then I was in medical school (90-95%).
So I dropped out of that University. My parents weren't happy. Mom said my grandfather never made a lot of money doing it. And I told her I didn't care. I enjoyed it and to this day I still do.
Like you said, you couldn't figure out if I did it for a pay check or if I did it for the fun. All I can say is, between the two schools I made more friends, had more fun, and enjoyed life more in that photography school and in this line of work.
It's nice going to work everyday and having something new to do. Some new shot that has to be photographed for a client. Maybe they want silverware shot and you have to figure out a way to keep the highlights in check but also get good definition of light and specular shadows. Maybe they need a server shot but they want it to appear floating. Put it on white seamless and go for it. Or my favorite, getting new "toys" like digital backs, or a new Mamiya, or getting one of those nice HDR digitals backs that even though it takes 5 minutes to process the image, the resolution and color are amazing!
I love photography. I love professional photography. But it's loving my job that's most important and that's what I learned from my grandfather. I went to that school and found a life I enjoy, not just a job and paycheck.
Take care and have a good one!
~Crawn
