Relationship advice ... First Date ... Stressed.

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by MacPanda, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. MacPanda macrumors regular

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    Oct 15, 2006
    #1
    Okay folks! I really need your advice today. There is this guy that I really really like, the kind of guy that is beautiful on the inside and out and just so wonderful. So he is basically a friend of a friend and I started hanging out with his friends to kinda get a bit closer to him and see what he is like. The more I see him the more I just wanna get to know him. Like the other day me and a bunch of friends were coming home really late and he was on the bus and he feel asleep on my shoulder, I just really wanted to kiss him.

    So we were talking and passing a billboard where he goes to me, oh that movie is great. I was like oh have you seen it, he was like oh no, I was like, why not see it tonight, if you are free. He goes to me sure and we made plans for to go tonight.

    The thing is that I really like him, does this count as a date? Then I am wondering how can I show him that I have really strong feelings for him. I don't even know if he will think this is just a date or just two friends going to the cinema. I don't hide that I like him a lot. I don't want to kiss him and have him just pull away and think this is not what I thought tonight was about. My friends are always saying you have to kiss on the first date.

    Sorry for the babble, I just wanted to get your guys opinion as this is going to be my first date with someone and I am really really nervous, as I really love him. Btw, I am gay (not too sure if that matters) but just wanted to let you know.

    peace - macpanda.
     
  2. arkitect macrumors 601

    arkitect

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    #2
    First date with anyone and you're already in love?

    Just treat it like going to the movies… see what develops.
    Chances are — yes, grim reality — he probably just wants to be friends.
    If he wants to take it further then you've struck it rich.

    However right now, it is not love.
    You're just in lust.
    Which is not a bad thing to be.
    ;)
     
  3. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

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    #3
    Is HE gay?

    Because if not that's gonna be really awkward.

    I've been to movies with my mates many times and, not being gay myself, wouldn't count them as dates.

    If the other bloke isn't gay then it's not a date, it's just a blokes night out.
     
  4. fireshot91 macrumors 601

    fireshot91

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    #4
    Unless, of course, MacPanda is a girl! (I don't know)
     
  5. arkitect macrumors 601

    arkitect

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    #5
    There's a clue in there. ;)
     
  6. MacPanda thread starter macrumors regular

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    #6
    Yup, I am a guy and he is gay! I have been around him for quite a while and there is something so special and beautiful about him. peace - macpanda.
     
  7. d wade macrumors 65816

    d wade

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    #7
    well im not gay, but i can tell you how to get him to like you. blow him in the movies

    :eek:
     
  8. Little HZ macrumors regular

    Little HZ

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    #8
    Just enjoy yourself and see what develops. Weird how something so fun and exciting can also be so stressful, eh? Ah, the glories of love ... ;)
     
  9. Kardashian macrumors 68020

    Kardashian

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    #9
    Literally just burst out laughing, snapping my fingers, the whole shabang, screaming "haha, yes, baby dick!"

    Best. reply. ever.

    Pop open that popcorn box and away to go.

    But, OP, if you think this is love already - I'd advise not even treating it as a date. You can't love someone you don't really know.

    Treat it for what it is: 2 gay guys, at the movies. Be light hearted and flirty - in a way that if nothing happens, it doesn't look dodgy or make him uncomfortable.

    If he likes you, you've hopefully given him the perfect platform by asking him along and him accepting you.
     
  10. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #10
    Someone call Andy Sandberg and JT. They need to make a new "Dick In A...." video involving popcorn.



    Anyway, if he says something like, "I hope this movie is good", you could reply with, "I hope so too, but if it isn't, we could always make out."
     
  11. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

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    #11
    Don't try to categorize it. Go and have a good time and see where it goes from there. :)
     
  12. Kardashian macrumors 68020

    Kardashian

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    #12
    Dirrrrty boy :D
     
  13. BittenApple macrumors 6502a

    BittenApple

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    #13
    Don't worry so much. Usually this kind of stress is unnecessary now and will make you think too much, and afterwards you're going to be laughing at yourself for even worrying about it. Human emotions can come pretty quick and the best way to ruin those genuine emotions is by troubling your mind with stressful thinking. Get rid of the stressful thoughts and you'll be fine. :)
     
  14. MacPanda thread starter macrumors regular

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    #14
    Thanks for the advice guys although some of the advice was a bit weird, I am now even more lost after tonight.
    So we went to the cinema, we had a great time, I could barely concentrate on the film, he looked so cute, so I took him for ice cream afterwards and walked him home. So I get to his door, and he goes to me thanks for a lovely night and pauses. I was like yes this was really lovely. I feel so stupid for not saying something more back, but I would feel wierd saying hey I have tonnes of feelings for you. Should I have invited myself in, I didn't want to sleep with him (not ready for that at the moment).

    Maybe I should have kissed him, I don't know what to do. Any gay guys here had an experience similar to this. There is something so special about him, I don't know why I am feeling like this over a guy, but I have never felt like this for anyone. Should I get a gift and card sent to his place?

    thanks folks - macpanda.
     
  15. Kardashian macrumors 68020

    Kardashian

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    #15
    :eek: NO.

    Have you ever watched any teen movies? Right now, you are every girl and boy who has ever lusted after someone rolled into one ball of hormones.

    Please, please don't do anything radical like break down and spill your heart, or go sending random cards and gifts as you will probably freak him out/scare him, and also be a victim of people attacking you.

    Give it time!

    You're not going anywhere, and neither is he.

    Text him, tell him, "So, I feel like maybe I should have asked you earlier if you wanna do that again sometime? We could watch a movie at yours or mine, give us more of a chance to talk".

    Don't do a full song and parade. You sound infatuated. I think you're getting waaaay ahead of yourself, you jumped straight into thinking you should have invited yourself in, and then straight to sex. He doesn't even know you like him, as far as you're aware, what makes him think you're going to have sex with him?

    I've just edited this down to not seem to harsh but seriously - think of it from his point of view as well. You don't want to go attacking him with all this off the bat - after sitting on a bus together and going to the cinema.. once.
     
  16. yojitani macrumors 68000

    yojitani

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    #16
    I'm not gay, but in my experience the best relationships start off with a large degree of awkwardness. You may not be the only one feeling it.
     
  17. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #17
    masterbate before going on the date. wont be going in with pistols loaded so you wont stress haha

    who can tell me what movie im referencing?
     
  18. Kardashian macrumors 68020

    Kardashian

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    #18
    There's Something About Mary.
     
  19. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #19
    wow i keep underestimating you guys lol
     
  20. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

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    #20
    There's Something About Mary


    What prize do I win? :p

    Edit: Dammit, Kardashian beat me!
     
  21. Kardashian macrumors 68020

    Kardashian

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    #21
    :) Duke, how are you now?

    Watch this movie, OP. You'll find it quite comical after everything we've said, and the extreme's you can go to for 'love'.
     
  22. war eagle macrumors 6502a

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  23. MacPanda thread starter macrumors regular

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    Oct 15, 2006
    #23
    You guys are very right. I want to take it slowly but I want to show him that I really like him and care for him. He is very special. There is something so special about him, he is cute, funny, beautiful, sensitive, just so yummy. It is a wierd feeling as when ever I am close to him, I get this really peaceful lovely feeling inside of me.

    peace - macpanda
     
  24. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #24
    Fixed.


    Personally, I'd send him a massive signal and see if he bites. No, not a really obvious tenting of the pants, but perhaps a "Great fun! Lets go out again soon" SMS or FaceBook message (assuming you both have an account), and a lot of "looks" that he'll definitely interpret as being more than a friendly glance. Even if he didn't have feelings for you before, perhaps they'd develop if you spent more time together as friends. I don't know what type of thing you should do to make it obvious that you like him (other than a dick in the box...), but if you don't want to ask him out, at least make it obvious to him that the answer would be "yes" if he asked YOU out. ;)

    If neither of you are going to wear the pants and ask the other out, you'll have to eventually take charge and ask him yourself.
     
  25. Kardashian macrumors 68020

    Kardashian

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    #25
    Ummm, what I just said?

    Also, you can't really care for him - you've let him sleep on your shoulder and watch a movie. Get to know him first, please, for your own sake. What me and Abstract wrote above is a good way to start, without coming across a bit daft.
     

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