Relationship advice needed, if possible.

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Ivan P, May 27, 2009.

  1. Ivan P macrumors 68030

    Ivan P

    Jan 17, 2008
    I'm at a dead end here, so my last resort is to post this here.

    Basically, my partner of a year and a half has randomly decided to stop talking to me. It's only been 12 hours but considering the way in which he left the conversation yesterday I have absolutely no idea what to do, and I'm getting really worried. Yesterday evening we were texting each other, and he seemed fine. Then suddenly I stopped getting answers. Alright, I thought, he might be busy. I let 3 hours go by, still nothing. I send a text asking if he's alright. No answer. More worried, I decide to call him. His phone is turned off, so it goes straight to voicemail.
    I have no idea what could have provoked this, so I get on Facebook and send his mum a message asking if he's been acting strangely today - the message I get back is "he wants a break from you".
    So I have no idea what to do or what the hell has just happened. We were getting along fine, we haven't had any sort of falling out in a long time, and randomly he begins ignoring me. And that message from his mum makes it even weirder considering I know that he tries to avoid talking about me to her whenever possible (not because of me, but because of the fact his mum likes to ask questions about things that don't concern her).

    I'm worried as hell and have no idea what to do and no one to turn to. I have no idea what could have provoked this, I'm absolutely clueless. I know this is just an internet message board but if anyone has some good advice that'd be greatly appreciated.
  2. furious macrumors 65816


    Aug 7, 2006
    He sounds like a wimp. Getting his mum to tell you that he wants some space is the act of a coward. I would advise you to give him some space.

    It is not what you did or what you have not done. Also you may be reading to much into it.
  3. Leareth macrumors 68000


    Nov 11, 2004
    "he wants a break from you" usually equals needs time alone to think stuff through.

    give him space and time
    but prepare yourself for the worst.

    dont email/text/phone
    let him make the first move back.

    do you guys live together ?
  4. poopyhead macrumors 6502a


    Jan 4, 2004
    in the toe-jam of greatness (Fort Worth)
    follow leareth's advice

    its only been 12 hours,
    you probably shouldn't worry until it reaches 48 or more
  5. nickspohn macrumors 68040


    Jun 9, 2007
    give him his break. he HAS to talk to you eventually. so let him be the one that makes the move to talk to you. even if its 48+ hours, let him talk to you first. I know it will be hard not to talk to him, but don't. Then when he finally talks to you, you can express the way you feel to him about what why he is doing this. And if it's for the best, move on, there is always better out there.

    Be the bigger person, and don't let off on him.
  6. MacsomJRR macrumors 6502a


    Jul 8, 2003
    San Diego
    "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were"
  7. Tomorrow macrumors 604


    Mar 2, 2008
    Always a day away
    Just thinking out loud, bear with me:

    (1) It sounds possible that his mother might say "he wants a break from you" even if he doesn't - does she disapprove of your relationship?

    (2) His phone might have died, or he might have forgotten to pay the bill.

    Might sound like a stretch, but I'm trying to play devil's advocate. Hope everything ends up okay.
  8. yojitani macrumors 68000


    Apr 28, 2005
    An octopus's garden
    I would insist that if he wants a break, he tells you himself. If he isn't responding to you, then maybe try to pass that message through his mother or a mutual friend. I can't stand @#$% like this from a partner and have never tolerated it. If he can't tell you, then it's time for you to grieve and move on. A partner who can't communicate isn't worth the time anyway.
  9. Iscariot macrumors 68030


    Aug 16, 2007
    If his mom is telling the truth, and you had to find out through her, then dump his ass.
  10. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
    I'm sorry to say it, but you seem overbearing. 12 hours? Is 12 hours of silence all that was required to set off such a reaction of texts and calls from you?
  11. Ivan P thread starter macrumors 68030

    Ivan P

    Jan 17, 2008
    To answer whoever asked, we dont live together. We still live with our parents, but thats because I only turned 18 a fortnight ago and work a block from home, and because he works for his dad.

    He just emailed me, and apparently his mums been saying that Ive been sending her nasty messages on Facebook, when this is the first time I've talked to her in months (I try and avoid it).

    Ugh, sorry to vent, but she's so stupid.

    Edit: And now she's deleted her Facebook account. No idea what thats supposed to mean.
  12. jecapaga macrumors 601


    Jul 1, 2007
    Southern California
    Well what did his email say? Any explanation for not contacting you? Any discussion about him no longer wishing to be with you? Explain that mess :rolleyes:
  13. brad.c macrumors 68020


    Aug 23, 2004
    50.813669°, -2.474796°
    My 2¢.

    If you don't talk to his mother very often, then FB her to ask if he's been acting strangely after only 12 hours radio silence, well that seems a little overbearing. Perhaps it is she who thinks a break is needed, and the message got muddled into you thinking it is he who says that.

    Of course I don't know your relationship with her, or if there is an understanding or habit of getting her insight, but maybe you should wait to hear from the source.
  14. DrStrange macrumors member

    Nov 1, 2008

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