If anyone else hits the same problem the solution for US users is to locate the 'News' item under spotlight search preferences.
The solution for non-US users appears to be to move to the US, because that setting is missing from the page, and we just have to put up with getting all that miserable clickbait thrust in our faces. Looks like it's tied to the availability of the News app itself. No News app, no ability to turn off news. Well played Apple you bunch of ****ing amateurs.