Resume help, please.

[brendanryder]

ok so i applied at Futureshop 2 days ago by completing their bizarre online application. I got a call the next afternoon and they wanted to set up a phone interview. She called yesturday and i wasn't home so she called again today and i was on the fricking train and had to reschedual AGAIN!!!!

so im off to a bad start and i really need to impress her when i send her my resume so i am turning to macrumors for some late night advice/help.

so ANY tips or anything you notice i should change or i should be aware of please let me know.

Thanks guys.

ps, first is cover letter, then resume.

 

[motulist]

You asked for help, so the best thing I can do for you is to be completely honest. I started reading your cover letter and within the first 3 sentences I already found a bunch of errors, so there's no way I'm gonna be able to really proof read it for you until it's in a state where it's already closer to a final draft. Maybe someone else on this forum would be more able to help you, but I'm too tired right now to give an extensive proof read. My advice to you is to read through what you wrote very s l o w l y, sentence by sentence, and read it as if you were an english teacher. Keep an eye out for things like capitalization errors, "a" versus "an" errors, unnecessary words like "when it comes to being an employee," and things like that.

It's not bad for a 17 year old though. Keep working on it and you can get it looking really nice.

 

[miiles]

Read it out loud for proofing and then go back and capitalize your I's...

 

[brendanryder]

You asked for help, so the best thing I can do for you is to be completely honest. I started reading your cover letter and within the first 3 sentences I already found a bunch of errors, so there's no way I'm gonna be able to really proof read it for you until it's in a state where it's already closer to a final draft. Maybe someone else on this forum would be more able to help you, but I'm too tired right now to give an extensive proof read. My advice to you is to read through what you wrote very s l o w l y, sentence by sentence, and read it as if you were an english teacher. Keep an eye out for things like capitalization errors, "a" versus "an" errors, unnecessary words like "when it comes to being an employee," and things like that.

It's not bad for a 17 year old though. Keep working on it and you can get it looking really nice.

ya it is a little late for "hard core" proofing. i will go over it s l ow ly. and repost it, thanks

Read it out loud for proofing and then go back and capitalize your I's...

ok, i shall do that.
Thanks

 

[puckhead193]

the gap between your header and profile is way to big...
use a lot of action words
try to line up the date and the cities.
Make your references on a separate page.
take out the description of your awards...
my school thought me this way

*thats what i would do if i were you...but i'm no expert

 

[motulist]

Read it out loud for proofing and then go back and capitalize your I's...

That reminds me, another cool proof reading trick is having your Mac read it back to you. select the text you want it to read and then (assuming you're writing in MS Word) go to the menu Word -> Services -> Speech - Start Speaking Text. Even better, go to the Speech system pref and set a hot key to start speaking text so you don't have to go through that long menu each time. If you're on leopard, make sure you have the "Alex" voice selected in speech prefs, and if you're not on leopard then you're stuck with the much lower quality "Bruce" voice.

 

[brendanryder]

thanks again for all your help. My phone interview went awesome so she made me an appointmet with the manager for 2 hours later. The manager obiously liked me and I got the JOB! I start tomorrow at 9

 

[Gray-Wolf]

Congrats on joining the the few/ the proud / oh, wait thats the marines, oh yeah, the league of working stiffs.

 

[brendanryder]

Congrats on joining the the few/ the proud / oh, wait thats the marines, oh yeah, the league of working stiffs.

rofl.
thanks.