Resume help, please.

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by brendanryder, Nov 15, 2008.

  1. brendanryder macrumors 6502a

    brendanryder

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Location:
    Calgary
    #1
    ok so i applied at Futureshop 2 days ago by completing their bizarre online application. I got a call the next afternoon and they wanted to set up a phone interview. She called yesturday and i wasn't home so she called again today and i was on the fricking train and had to reschedual AGAIN!!!!

    so im off to a bad start and i really need to impress her when i send her my resume so i am turning to macrumors for some late night advice/help.

    so ANY tips or anything you notice i should change or i should be aware of please let me know.

    Thanks guys.

    ps, first is cover letter, then resume.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  2. motulist macrumors 601

    motulist

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2003
    #2
    You asked for help, so the best thing I can do for you is to be completely honest. I started reading your cover letter and within the first 3 sentences I already found a bunch of errors, so there's no way I'm gonna be able to really proof read it for you until it's in a state where it's already closer to a final draft. Maybe someone else on this forum would be more able to help you, but I'm too tired right now to give an extensive proof read. My advice to you is to read through what you wrote very s l o w l y, sentence by sentence, and read it as if you were an english teacher. Keep an eye out for things like capitalization errors, "a" versus "an" errors, unnecessary words like "when it comes to being an employee," and things like that.

    It's not bad for a 17 year old though. Keep working on it and you can get it looking really nice.
     
  3. miiles macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Location:
    California
    #3
    Read it out loud for proofing and then go back and capitalize your I's...
     
  4. brendanryder thread starter macrumors 6502a

    brendanryder

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Location:
    Calgary
    #4
    ya it is a little late for "hard core" proofing. i will go over it s l ow ly. and repost it, thanks :D

    ok, i shall do that.
    Thanks
     
  5. puckhead193 macrumors G3

    puckhead193

    Joined:
    May 25, 2004
    Location:
    NY
    #5
    the gap between your header and profile is way to big...
    use a lot of action words
    try to line up the date and the cities.
    Make your references on a separate page.
    take out the description of your awards...
    my school thought me this way

    *thats what i would do if i were you...but i'm no expert :)
     
  6. motulist macrumors 601

    motulist

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2003
    #6
    That reminds me, another cool proof reading trick is having your Mac read it back to you. select the text you want it to read and then (assuming you're writing in MS Word) go to the menu Word -> Services -> Speech - Start Speaking Text. Even better, go to the Speech system pref and set a hot key to start speaking text so you don't have to go through that long menu each time. If you're on leopard, make sure you have the "Alex" voice selected in speech prefs, and if you're not on leopard then you're stuck with the much lower quality "Bruce" voice.
     
  7. brendanryder thread starter macrumors 6502a

    brendanryder

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Location:
    Calgary
    #7
    thanks again for all your help. My phone interview went awesome so she made me an appointmet with the manager for 2 hours later. The manager obiously liked me and I got the JOB! I start tomorrow at 9

    :D
     
  8. Gray-Wolf macrumors 68030

    Gray-Wolf

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2008
    Location:
    Pandora, Home Tree
    #8
    Congrats on joining the the few/ the proud / oh, wait thats the marines, oh yeah, the league of working stiffs. :D
     
  9. brendanryder thread starter macrumors 6502a

    brendanryder

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Location:
    Calgary
    #9
    rofl.
    thanks.
     

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