Should I drop everything and leave?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by designgeek, Apr 1, 2010.

  1. designgeek macrumors 65816

    designgeek

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    #1
    Hey all, I had this idea, it came to me in some sort of a daydream/possible drug flash-back. I thought that since I've been completely directionless the last three years or so I should just pack up and move out of the country. I was thinking some small town in Italy on the coast or something.:D Again, I haven't thought this out at all, but it did sound like a good change. I figure if I'm going to do nothing, I may as well do it somewhere interesting. I've had about enough of the inland northwest...

    Have any of you done something similar? Was it difficult? I imagine it would be, but I'm willing to try for something new. Thanks for any input, I'll add more to this as ideas surface.:)
     
  2. bamaworks macrumors 6502

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    #2
    If I didn't have obligation to my wife and both of our excellent jobs/families, I'd GTFO. If anything just for a few years to feel it out and further develop myself as a person. Nothing builds character like moving somewhere completely outside your comfort zone and building a life from scratch.
     
  3. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #3
    Curious how you intend to support yourself through what appears to be a very early mid-life crisis.

    Before I took the job I have now I said that if I did not get the job I would go to England. It wasn't some directionless idea but it involved me moving out of the country. I got the job and here I sit in the US. However, before I made any such statements I became painfully aware of how difficult it would have been to support myself.

    You can say you pissed away the last 3 years of your life and that because of that you're deciding to piss away even more time. And yes, you're pissing it away if you decide to run to some other country with no real rhyme or reason. Life isn't about idling. It's ok to have had enough of the area you've been in your entire life but to just decide (you made this choice) to do nothing for three years and then take off with no plan whatsoever is silly. How old are you? Surely there is some plan for you or some ambition inside of you.

    I've moved from a state where I grew up to go elsewhere. I stayed in the US. It changes a person and hopefully for the better. However, I just think this is all misguided on your part. To roam around some land ... I guess if you're going to do it and you're confidant you can stand to do nothing elsewhere then fine. Will you grow as a person? Sure, but what will you do when you grow tired of that place?
     
  4. bamaworks macrumors 6502

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    #4

    A little bit brutal of a post, wouldn't you say? What do you consider "pissing away" time, not making active progress in the rat race? Some would argue that life isn't about seeing how many ladder rungs you can climb, but more how much you can experience what the world has to offer, and if you happen to find success along the way (however you perceive it) then fantastic. You sound a tad bit jaded, and not to be overtly cliche, when you die it doesn't matter if you have $1mil or $1 in the bank, you're still zeroed out. Which is why I support the idea of doing your best to get out and do whatever you dream of doing, as you'll only regret the things you failed to do when you're too old or obligated to do them.
     
  5. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

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    #5
    The saying "No matter where you go, there you are." is very true. Also, the reality of working out the details to move internationally may be very, uh, sobering. However, if your urge is that strong and you think you can do it then sure, why not? :)

    I myself found the inspiration to move my American ass over to England. It wasn't an easy decision to actually make happen but it felt like the right one and I'm glad I went for it.

    Maybe you could go for something a little less drastic and just leave the inland northwest. I can't blame you for wanting to leave that! :p
     
  6. arkitect macrumors 601

    arkitect

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    #6
    Just a heads up, as they say… ;)
    A small town on the coast of Italy is not all about sipping martinis in Positano or conversely hauling in fishnets with gnarled fishermen before a peasant lunch of some dish "al pescatore"…
    Unless of course your father is Herbert Greenleaf, in which case, beware friendly Americans.
     
  7. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #7
    bamaworks He said he wasted his last three years. I didn't come up with the notion all on my own. While you find me jaded, you failed to actually delve into whether or not I firmly believe that having a job and earning money is the end game. It's really not. It's a means an end but it's not the end game.

    Do I think doing nothing for three years is pissing your life away? Kind of. It depends on what you have to show for it, which the OP implies that he has little to show for it. Ergo, pissing your life away.

    I asked some questions about ambition. I didn't ask questions about careers or the like. You're assuming too much, taking my words to heart (which is silly), and deciding that I'm unable to see more than what there is right now. Perhaps you don't like the way I put things, some people don't. I'm not real great at sugar-coating things for random strangers asking life questions on the internet. Such is life really.

    I find your assumptions on what I consider and do not consider to be pissing one's life away to be as jaded as you believe my post to be. Sorry I didn't come right out and agree with your post whole-heartedly. Sometimes it takes an adult to ask basic questions like, how will you eat? Call me jaded but it seems like a relevant question. :rolleyes:

    I guess I need to paint rainbows and pretty sunsets around here for the thin-skinned.

    OP Do it. I think it's wonderful. No worries about the basics, if you have a passport then I say book the flight now.
     
  8. designgeek thread starter macrumors 65816

    designgeek

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    #8
    I completely understand that it would be incredibly difficult and I'm up for it. The idea came to me late yesterday afternoon and I haven't really thought about it all that much, I just liked the idea and thought I'd look into it just to see if it's in the realm of possibility. If I were to actually get even half way into doing this I would make sure that I could support myself.;)

    As for wasting time, I don't think I've wasted the last three years. Yes, I have been idle, but that time is important to my process, I don't like the hustle and bustle of the American lifestyle, not to say that I hate working, but I hate the way we go about it here. What I may be looking at here is a fork in the road, on the right is a college education, a stable lifestyle, 2.5 kids. etc... On the left is a possible disaster, an extremely difficult adjustment, probably a good story, and the chance at something radically different than what anything anyone I know has ever done.

    As I said, I haven't really looked into it, but while I say I will continue to do nothing, it will essentially be something. I'll be learning and growing as a person in a way that a bachelor's degree can't even measure up to. I'm going to keep thinking.
     
  9. JNB macrumors 604

    JNB

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    #9
    What you call "brutal" I see as a clear assessment based on the OP's statement, taking that at face value.

    Nobody said anything about climbing corporate ladders; you're reading into what was posted.
     
  10. Mac N Tosh macrumors regular

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    #10
    Yes...you should go..Its gonna be tough getting a job to pay for the passport tho...
     
  11. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #11
    I agree with you on how Americans work. This is a topic I've recently discussed with people from the UK and frankly it makes American professionals look like cattle in a giant field. Of course I got the notion of you pissing your life away because that is how your post read to me. If you have been spending three years building up for this moment where you decide that maybe you want to leave then fine. Again, as I hurt bamaworks' heart when I posted, I didn't just come up with the notion all on my own.

    Let me tell you something from personal experience and taking into account what iBlue said.

    "No matter where you go, there you are."
    You cannot escape yourself. However, if you're going to do it then do it. I am always going to be practical. I am always going to want to know how I will support myself because I've been doing it for so long. I don't need to know where I am going to lay my head, but I do want to know I can pay for a pillow. I also don't like to sit idle. As bamaworks mentioned about regret, I don't personally want to have regrets so I couldn't have sat idle for years like you did. I can't help but admit that sitting idle to me means you're not doing anything and you're pissing your life away. It's not meant to be mean, it's just how I feel and how I feel is personal to me, you get it?

    And you are correct, the way you will learn and grow through travel is something no fancy degree will ever teach you. My two degrees mean I sat in doors for 6 years working full time and going to school full time. It also means that I did little by way of travel, form personal relationships outside what were already established before I began that journey, and lived. Now I am choosing to live baring a work schedule. Again, practical Jessica says work has to come first at times because I kind ... really like to eat.
     
  12. bamaworks macrumors 6502

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    #12

    I suppose this raises a question about what do you define as ambition? And please note what the OP just said about his life not being truly wasted for the last three years. As I assumed he wasn't necessarily 'pissing away' his life, moreso not making active progress toward a goal. And why do you have to have something to 'show' for your time spent living? To show who, other people so they can judge the quality of your existence? Life isn't so black & white where you can tally up your score and see who wins. You may see me idealist and lacking ambition, however I'm just someone who has oft traveled on a whim, remained 'laterally mobile' for some amount of time enjoying myself, and still managed to become a successful professional to boot.

    EDIT: Hurt my heart? So having a legitimate conversation about life philosophy classifies as being hurt? I suppose having anything you say being questioned is really that strange? So crass.
     
  13. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #13
    Bamaworks, I didn't say you have to have something to show for the time spent here. Where in the world are you reading this crap?
     
  14. designgeek thread starter macrumors 65816

    designgeek

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    #14
    bamaworks is actually quite spot on in his assumptions. :)

    Again, I have not even looked into any details. It's just a thought. Btw, the Italian coast was just a spur of the moment thought, it doesn't really matter, as long as it's safe, I pick up languages very quickly.;)

    I'm mostly just curious if anyone has ever acted on an idea such as this. I know it's difficult and if I were really going to go I would absolutely make sure that I would at the very least be able to support myself. Clearly I'm not totally going to do this tomorrow.

    Also, about idleness, I've done lots of psychedelic drugs and through that I've learned that sitting idle is one of the most important things a person can do.:) One does not learn without watching. :)


    EDIT: I totally didn't mean to start a philosophical flame-war.
     
  15. bamaworks macrumors 6502

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    #15


    Right here silly.
     
  16. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #16
    I have most cross country, not out of country. It definitely doesn't compare but it was a big move nonetheless.

    bamaworks, ah but I am not saying you have to have something to show for it, I'm saying it depends. And show who? Show yourself. Clearly the OP is dissatisfied with something. That's what I read within his post. Again, how I perceive idle time isn't necessary how others will. You do realize people won't always think the same, right?
     
  17. bamaworks macrumors 6502

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    #17
    I do, which is why I'm expressing my point of view, knowing you don't think the same. It's called discussion. Two or more differing viewpoints express, support, and critique. I suppose I'm too used to my acquiantances who are accustomed to having intelligent discussion without taking siginificant offense. You're doing a good job aside from the snide remarks about my 'heart' which you edited out of your last post.
     
  18. arkitect macrumors 601

    arkitect

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    #18
    Phewww… ;)

    Yes, I have. Moved to different countries four times in fact — and there's probably one or two more occasions before I keel over.

    First time was economically driven. Finishing my Architecture degree in the middle of a recession — 80s… and believe me when I tell you they weren't building nada where I was… so I looked where they were, and I literally caught a plane before the graduation ceremony. They faxed *gasp* me my Degree piece of paper — and portfolio in hand I got a job.

    It was tough. No friends. Back then no internet to speak of. No video links… you wrote a letter or postcard. Once — a few weeks in — overworked, eager to please you know, I was standing in the middle of a crowd and listening to track on my Discman :p "Sometimes I feel like a stranger…" and I did. Felt like sobbing my little 24 year old heart out. But, heh, after that things got better.

    You will always, always, get people who will caution you and say don't do it.
    You will also get reckless people who would urge you onwards no matter what.

    All I can say, it worked for me. Glad to have done it and 23 years later thriving far away from where I started.

    For what its worth. :)
     
  19. scottness macrumors 65816

    scottness

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    #19
    I dropped everything and left once upon a time... and found that life wasn't as romantic as my ideals had lead me to believe. No one could have convinced me of that at the time. I probably needed the life lesson. Maybe you do, too.
     
  20. Dify macrumors member

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    #20
    I agree with what Jessica said,

    But I think that your question can only be answered by you. I did it, I went away, in a country I never was. I would not say that the country changed me;
    I was forced to change myself.

    What I mean is if you do that, you are going to be alone, no really alone. It doesn't matter if you can write or phone with your family friends at home.
    For me what came with loneliness were several things;
    But most of it were some serious crises, fear, uncertainty about who I really were and where I was going on a professional level (studies) as well as “spiritual” level. Some people say that if you ask yourself a question you already have the answer inside of you, but you don’t accept it or you fear it. I personally do not think that getting away is like a magical thing and that all your problems are going to be solved without any serious trouble. People always tend to glorify and make it seem easy and painless, it isn’t, if you leave a country with personal problems or doubts, they are going to follow you.
    Well, I don’t say it is all negative, It helped me a lot, opened my mind to new things and other way of seeing life. And one of the benefits of that loneliness it brings is that you have a lot of time for you and to think. Travelling did bring me this because I wanted to, I wanted it to be like that, but it does absolutely not mean that it is going to be the same for you. Some people travel in another country and still go to eat in Mc donalds…
    So if you feel like you got what it takes to do this “journey” then do it, leave it all and go, but don’t you dear think it’s going to be easy vacation time sunny and all the people love you thing.
    Plus do you speak Italian? because Italians, especially in the south even more in a small town do not speak English…And I you plan to live there….


    I wish you all the best.
     
  21. designgeek thread starter macrumors 65816

    designgeek

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    #21
    I din't think I'd be pondering the meaning of life ITT (btw the mushrooms and I have decided that it is intrinsically meaningless), but I've wanted to be an expat for as long as I can remember. And maybe it was all the Ocean's movies or the Wes Anderson marathon I watched the other day, but since I went to Italy, Switzerland, France and the UK, I've wanted to be there more and experience that way of life, one that contemplates the permanence of human existence in stark contrast to living in the impermanent western US. There.

    Back to real life, I'm going to keep thinking about it. Though it is interesting to see that there is equally as much "yes" as "no" in this here thread. ;) I can't seem to start threads that contain definitive answers.:D
     
  22. designgeek thread starter macrumors 65816

    designgeek

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    #22
    ...didn't ever say that it would.

    not a problem

    Thanks!
     
  23. niuniu macrumors 68020

    niuniu

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    #23
    My younger sister does this - she moved from the UK to Los Angeles for over 4 years, then she recently moved to Spain. Don't know what the hell she thinks she's doing. Certainly isn't producing any solid results. She's certainly living the life, now, socially. But I can see it all ending in disaster, she has no stable career, and leeches tens of thousands of £'s from my parents every year to support her (she's 24).

    In contrast, the gf and I are dying to move out to Canada (I'm a snowsports guy and the community there is better suited for her nationality ), but I know it's best to stay put here and get the business to a point where we can move with security and take it overseas, at the current rate it will take a few years more. I'm bored out of my wits these days, I really don't have any motivation to go out and socialise any longer in the UK, but this being my home turf, I have big advantages, as do you, in making a mark compared to another country where I'm an immigrant, or worse, an immigrant that can't speak the national language.


    On the hand, if you want to really get the most out of life, you often have to dive in and take some risks. And if you do go somewhere for a year or two and come back, that's not the end of the world either. You may even go somewhere and get some inspiration..
     
  24. lamina macrumors 68000

    lamina

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    #24
    Hey OP. Do you have a university degree?

    Consider teaching English abroad. It's a guaranteed decent salary and you get a free apartment.

    http://www.eslcafe.com/jobs/

    There are TONS of jobs in Korea, Japan, and China. You can even get a job in Saudi Arabia if you like. There are teaching positions in Italy and Europe as well.

    Why not give it a try? You've got nothing to lose it seems.
     
  25. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #25
    Do it. Don't even think twice about it.

    When I was 25, I was in a similar spot. AI was living in Ohio doing nothing with myself. Took a trip to Chicago one weekend- loved it.

    I came home, packed what would fit in my car, gave the rest away and moved here with $800 in my pocket and no job. I found a job, a roommate and an apartment all in 7 days.

    When you make positive moves, you will be rewarded. Do it. Don't let anything stop you and you will never regret it.
     

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