So, am I a bad father if...

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by wordmunger, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. wordmunger macrumors 603

    wordmunger

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    Location:
    North Carolina
    #1
    ...My son plays trombone for the school band, and there's a pep rally tonight, which he must attend and play at, and I'm not going to the pep rally?

    I just dropped him off at school, and now I'm hiding out in a coffee shop nearby. He didn't even want to go to the rally, but I insisted that he must because it's part of his grade for band class.

    Personally I don't think this is like missing out on an actual band concert. They're just providing music for the pep rally. Most of the time it's going to be stupid cheers and a "bonfire" (a bunch of wood burning in a barrel).

    But is it hypocritical of me to say he had to go, and then not go myself?
     
  2. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #3
    eh i wouldnt go. then again i dont have kids so kinda hard to replicate experience



    but i will say if he was on the bball team or whatever, would he expect you to attend practice? i wouldnt think so

    id go to the big functions and even then, if i were playing i wouldnt get worked up or anything if my parents didnt show


    or you could just ask him what he thinks rather than us lol
     
  3. ToddW macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2004
    #4
    yep you are still a good father by making him go. for waiting at a nearby coffee shop while he finishes isn't that bad either. now missing a band concert to go drink coffee would IMHO make you a bad daddy!
     
  4. wordmunger thread starter macrumors 603

    wordmunger

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    #5
    Well, he's already there, so I can't ask. I don't think he really cares that much right now. But I don't want to be the parent who "didn't show up" when he writes his memoir 20 years from now...
     
  5. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

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    #6
    As a member of the band in my day and going back years later and sitting in the crowd myself I apologized to my parents for putting them through that.:):p
     
  6. Virgil-TB2 macrumors 65816

    Virgil-TB2

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    #7
    I don't have children so take this with a big grain of salt but...

    IMO you would have to be insane to go to a "Pep Rally," in fact, anyone would. :)

    They are stupid, sports related hype-fests that don't do anyone any good. Anyone with half a brain would be bored out of their mind at such an event. It's the high school equivalent of military-training.
     
  7. wordmunger thread starter macrumors 603

    wordmunger

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    #8
    The thing is, my kids are actually pretty good musically now -- I'm *through* the salt-mine years. But as Virgil-TB2 points out, I'm not thrilled about the idea of attending the pep-rally itself.

    I'm probably going to show up for the last half or so... *technically* I would have been there...
     
  8. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

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    #9
    Pep Rally's don't count as a concert so you don't have to be there, it is more of a sporting event then anything else.
     
  9. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #10
    I think you're fine. You just taught him that he needs to fulfill his obligations, that's all. I'd say you're being a pretty good dad.
     
  10. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

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    #11
    Unless of course there are cheerleaders there.....
     
  11. Big-TDI-Guy macrumors 68030

    Big-TDI-Guy

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    #12
    If anything, your spawn will likely appreciate it that you were NOT there.

    Most kids see: Parents = embarrassment. Unless they've changed that much since I was last in school. ;)
     
  12. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

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  13. synth3tik macrumors 68040

    synth3tik

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    #14
    We all remember prep rallies.. On the horror. I think for a prep rally you should be ok. Thats basically just a warm up for him. Does he feel bad that you didn't stick around.
     
  14. wordmunger thread starter macrumors 603

    wordmunger

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    #15
    Yegads! I'm distinctly NOT interested in high-school-age bimbos.

    @Big-TDI: I don't think our kids are especially embarrassed by us -- they prefer to be with their friends, but they're okay with their parents. Unless we're telling them to do something they don't want to do....
     
  15. wordmunger thread starter macrumors 603

    wordmunger

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    #16
    Update:

    I went to the last half of the rally. It was as awful as I had imagined. Plus, the band played for a total of about 30 seconds. These things definitely haven't gotten any better over the last 25 or so years -- terrible skits, boring speeches, and the same old cheers we used to do back in the day...
     
  16. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    Andover, MA
    #17
    I think you're a saint for going.

    Parents never went when I was young, and I think it's fine to not go now. I mean, it's not like the kids are going to be crushed. The fact that he had to go should have no impact on your need to go. Unless you're in the band, which I think is unlikely.
     
  17. themadchemist macrumors 68030

    themadchemist

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    #18
    I think it reflects well on you as a father that you're even worried!
     
  18. ErikCLDR macrumors 68000

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    Jan 14, 2007
    #19
    Don't worry about it. You can't always make it to everything.

    If you are trying to avoid it because you don't want to go then thats bad.

    My dad has never really gone to many of my events. He spend the first 15 years of my life either 1000 miles away at his 2nd office in Ohio, or in South Africa for a month at a time, or Germany, Switzerland, Italy, or some other Western European country for a week or so at a time, at least once a month.
     
  19. jsgreen macrumors 6502

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    NH
    #20
    Only bad not to go if 1) he wanted you there or 2) he was drunk when you picked him up.
     
  20. pscoble macrumors 6502

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    Petaluma
    #21
    I think your still ok. Especially if he didn't want to go. The one year I played trombone I skipped every "concert" I hated that thing and the music teacher granted I did not care about my grade in band in like 6th grade. My vote is if he didn't want to go himself he won't care although coming is nice to but no your not a bad father.
     
  21. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

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  22. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    #23
    A chance for cheerleaders and jocks to be, well, cheerleaders and jocks, while the rest of the school attempts to act like they care. Essentially, an attempt to increase school spirit and seem cool.
     
  23. savanahrose macrumors 6502a

    savanahrose

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    greer SC
    #24
    My son was in the high school band. I never went to pep rallys. In fact they have a thing called Sertoma here where all the high schools have skirmishes and the marching bands had to be there. MY SON DID NOT WANT ME TO GO! So you are ok on that one. But I did go to the competitions (all) and the parades when I wasn't working. Oh yeah and some football games.
    It didn't scar him for life that I did not go to everything.
    Just be there for him when he has his first kid. I know I needed my father's help back then. ;)
     
  24. NAG macrumors 68030

    NAG

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    #25
    Yeah, my parents didn't go to all the games and pep rallies I played in (percussionist). The band is just there to tell people when to get excited and clap and stuff. OMG, here are some people who throw balls around! Huzzah!
     

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