So I just broke up with my girl

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Crawn2003, Sep 11, 2007.

  1. Crawn2003 macrumors 6502

    Jul 8, 2005
    Santa Rosa, California
    I just broke up with my g/f / fiance' of three years...

    Tired of the constant arguing we've been doing. Tired of being told that she can't trust me (because her ex-b/f cheated on her) and me never, ever giving her a reason not to trust me. Tired that every time we argue we try to make things better and it never works. I'm sick of the fact that we see a therapist and she doesn't listen or take the therapist's advice!

    The last three years have just been spiraling down till this. I don't remember the last time I went out and had fun with a friend. I don't remember the last time I went out to take photographs without hearing a lecture about going without her or her asking if we can leave yet.

    I'm almost 23, I shouldn't feel trapped in a relationship. I shouldn't feel like I have nothing better to live for! I'm tired of this bickering, of the arguing, of me feeling guilty for trying to further my career in the commercial photography world!

    Sick of these sleepless nights where I get no sleep because all she wants to do is argue with me and lecture me that she would gladly give up sleep for me if I wanted to (though I never want/ask her to). I hate feeling guilty that I'm not the same way, that I do need sleep, and that without it could possibly cause my thyroid levels to fluctuate along with my blood pressure!

    I'm sorry I'm ranting. I just need to blow off steam... Needed to actually write everything out. She says I'm a jerk. I've bent over backwards for her for three years. I do almost everything for her and I think she got used to it...:(

    It's over this time and I'm not asking for her back....

  2. zap2 macrumors 604


    Mar 8, 2005
    Washington D.C
  3. Scarlet Fever macrumors 68040

    Scarlet Fever

    Jul 22, 2005
    Sorry to hear about that

    It sounds like you can look back and say you treated her as best you could, which means you have nothing to regret.

    There are plenty more fish in the sea...
  4. iBlue macrumors Core


    Mar 17, 2005
    London, England
    Sounded like an unhealthy relationship. I think it was the right decision.
  5. user13 macrumors regular


    Dec 22, 2006
    Though I back your decision, I still think that she can also set up a list of your drawbacks that she considers to be your main faults... It is also like this - both are guilty of ruined relations.:(
  6. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
    ^^^ But there are many situations where one side really is more unreasonable than the other. Sometimes you just date a bitch. *shrugs*
  7. Cleverboy macrumors 65816


    May 25, 2007
    Pocket Universe, nth Dimensional Complex Manifold
    Had a similar thing. I knew something was odd when she knocked on my bedroom door at 1AM in the morning. It bothers me that there are so many screwed up guys out there, that many women have a right to be suspicious, but sometimes you can only question a relationship so far before that in and of itself becomes a gripe you would have never had. Sucks. Maybe you just need some time apart. If you think that's it, try letting her know that its not because you're seeing anyone else either. Else, its probably for the best.

    ~ CB
  8. yetanotherdave macrumors 68000


    Apr 27, 2007
    Bristol, England
    Sounds like you did well to get out.
    When a marriage goes to a therapist, it's a last resort to save a failed marriage (99% of the time IMO) at 23 and not married, no kids, just walk away. You were clearly not happy, and if you're not happy she can't be. It sounds like she has issues that she's just not willing to work through.
  9. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    2 words for you.

    1. Rebound.
    2. Skank.

    Nothing better.
  10. furious macrumors 65816


    Aug 7, 2006
  11. kumbaya macrumors regular

    Jan 12, 2005
    Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows 98; PalmSource/hspr-H102; Blazer/4.0) 16;320x320)

    make a promise to yourself that you will post here or go to a friend if you ever think about getting back together with her again

    we'll keep you on the path to happy loving relationship

    just say no!

  12. Dagless macrumors Core


    Jan 18, 2005
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    If it wasn't going so well then you made the right decision. I mean every relationship has a rough point, but if it was always bad then there is nothing else you can do really.
  13. PlaceofDis macrumors Core

    Jan 6, 2004
    sounds like you did the right thing since it seems it just wasn't working out for either one of you. can't force something to work.
  14. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem


    Feb 19, 2005
    The word is you're and good!
    Relationships are retarded.
  15. Cybergypsy macrumors 68040


    May 16, 2006
    Central Florida!
    My son 23, just did the same thing...his girl was younger then him she just turned 20, now all she wants to do is go out and party, my son was 3 years already in the Air Force, has his own Home(bought when he was 21) and is working hard...all they ever would do is fight about him staying home....well as a mom, I am glad she is gone :)

    You will be healing soon, slow but you will :)
  16. Fiveos22 macrumors 65816


    Nov 20, 2003
    Welcome back to the playing'll soon realize just how much you missed it.
  17. kusanagi macrumors regular

    Jun 18, 2007
    I've been almost exactly where you are, wasted 4 years of my life (the best ones too! 17-21) with a girl who cost me a decent highschool mark, uni degree, 3 jobs, a house and my relationship with my parents.

    You did the absoloute right thing by leaving her. Nothing is worse than being trapped in a relationship that you just want to get out of.

    I just made the mistake of not getting out soon enough, after that relationship i met the greatest person on earth, but she left me because of that prior relationship because she couldn't trust me to be with her because i wanted to be with her or that i'd feel trapped again and just keep hanging around... if that makes any sense.

    The important thing for you now is to move on, but by the sounds of things you did the right thing.
  18. nickster9224 macrumors 6502a


    Nov 6, 2006
    35 Miles From Chicago, Illinois
    Two more words from the skank route:
    1. find your nearest clininc the next morning
    2. get checked
  19. Iscariot macrumors 68030


    Aug 16, 2007
    Sir, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and are capable of making positive, forward-moving decisions. You need no advice from us, other than to keep it up.
  20. MK2007 macrumors regular

    Aug 31, 2007

    I understand where you are coming from. I myself am getting out of a two-year relationship. It is the hardest thing to do because I loved this girl very much and wanted the relationship to work. I tried every approach during that time. Nothing seemed to work. She was argumentative and often quite rude.

    She is immature and unappreciative. During the two years we have been together I estimate that I gave her over $8,000 in support, most of it in cash. She rarely said "thank you" for anything. She even told me it annoys her greatly to have to say it.

    Over the summer I wanted to buy a new Compaq laptop when it was on sale. I decided against it because I was supporting my girlfriend. She was my first financial priority. Well, I am leaving her now so I bought the computer this weekend when it was on sale. I plan to add a MacBook after Leopard is released.

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