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So. Who plans the dates in your relationship?
- Thread starter AppleLover9o
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It's a matter of perspective of whether it's "right" or not but if you don't do the planning you're gonna get dumped.
Married 10 years and my wife plans 90% of our dates. That's her talent and I reserve the other 10% for surprises. It works for us.
Her
Typical situation: She asks what I want to do, I throw out a few suggestions. She instantly shoots them down as being stupid, comes up with her own idea, I say yes (Always do!) then she complains how I never plan anything
Typical situation: She asks what I want to do, I throw out a few suggestions. She instantly shoots them down as being stupid, comes up with her own idea, I say yes (Always do!) then she complains how I never plan anything
Typical situation: She asks what I want to do, I throw out a few suggestions. She instantly shoots them down as being stupid, comes up with her own idea, I say yes (Always do!) then she complains how I never plan anything
Sounds about right.
Whoever has the inspiration should make the date plans. If no one's kicking in, then I'd say it's up to the guy.
Typical situation: She asks what I want to do, I throw out a few suggestions. She instantly shoots them down as being stupid, comes up with her own idea, I say yes (Always do!) then she complains how I never plan anything
This describes me and my husband, but I'm in the girls position.
Problem is he has the most unoriginal ideas ever. Dinner and a movie was romantic 7 years ago and is ok every once in a while, but really???
Typical situation: She asks what I want to do, I throw out a few suggestions. She instantly shoots them down as being stupid, comes up with her own idea, I say yes (Always do!) then she complains how I never plan anything
We are sort of like that. She says "I want to do something". I say "What kind of something?" "I don't know...something fun." Since our work is freelance, we have a lot of free time. We have done everything in town multiple times, so there's not much left. I always know when the "I want to do something fun" speech comes out, that she's ready for yet another trip. I don't have near the excitement level about travel that she does (since I had a 100% travel job for 7.5 years straight).
I wouldn't say either one of us really plans things more than the other. She wants me to plan all of it, but she knew damn well when she married me that I'm not the exciting-day-planning type of guy. But we try to work it out.
I get to do it when I take out girls almost always. That way I'm in control and know what's going on, although I sometimes give them a choice. Tried giving one girl freedom and she brought me to a club which I hated as I generally hate clubs.
The man in typical heteronormative society I feel creates the dates.
So he and I both talk about it. I suppose the male wins both ways.
(Thanks for assuming in the OP)
So he and I both talk about it. I suppose the male wins both ways.
(Thanks for assuming in the OP)
Win.
I'm slowly finding out that I'm enjoying life much more being single. This...is after 2 years of singleness and 5, previous to that, being in a relationship.
My girlfriend and I have a stock set of about 5 different activities/locations that we both enjoy regularly, and I'm usually content with any of those most nights. However we both keep our ears open for something out of the norm that might be going on in town, and we're pretty much even when it comes to new suggestions. I guess it's about a 50/50 draw.
Most nights out end up the same way though... naked!
Most nights out end up the same way though... naked!
My girlfriend and I have a stock set of about 5 different activities/locations that we both enjoy regularly, and I'm usually content with any of those most nights. However we both keep our ears open for something out of the norm that might be going on in town, and we're pretty much even when it comes to new suggestions. I guess it's about a 50/50 draw.
Most nights out end up the same way though... naked!
Well, my lady is mormon so it doesn't end naked haha.
Thank you all for your insight, I liked to see the diversity, but also the similarities.
It really is a joint amount of work between both the girl and the guy haha.
Thanks again!
