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Some things you always have to say

xUKHCx

xUKHCx

Administrator emeritus
Original poster
Jan 15, 2006
12,583
9
The Kop
I find that when people say certain things I have to always reply with a standard response.

e.g.

Them: "Sorry"
Me: "You will be"

Them: "No Ifs, no buts"
Me: "No coconuts"

Just wondering if anyone else has specific things they always have to say.
 
When my partner asks for any money I owe him for bills, I always hand it over whilst saying "There you go darling. Buy yourself something nice." in an East London accent.

He absolutely hates it :p :D
 
When asked what you would like for dessert:

I reply: "ice cream"
Dad: "you scream"
Brother: "everybody screams"
 
Whenever someone points out a police officer while I am driving:

"You'll never take me alive, copper." As I tool along five miles per hour below the speed limit.
 
"We pay $129 per seat for FogBugz. I suggest that you use it."

When people come to me saying, "Hey, have you seen this bug?" I always point to a sign in my office that says that.
 
I can't help but answer the question asked.

e.g.

Them : "Do you know what time it is?"
Me : "Yes"

Or the one that really bugs me.

When you meet somebody for the first time and a little later on they say.

Them : "What did you say your name was?"
Me : " I didn't, I told you what my name is!!!"
 
(waving goodbye to someone)

"Bye! Have fun storming the castle!"

I either get confused looks, or if someone catches on, the exchange continues...

Them: "Think it'll work?"
Me: "It would take a miracle."
Together: "Bye-bye!"
 
A few years ago at my previous place of employment, we had to deal with a civil engineering contractor named 'Copa Meica' (who incidentally were a right bunch of b***ards.)

I couldn't get through the day without singing Copa Cabana by Barry Manilow!

All together now...'her name was Lola she was a showgirl..'

Probably one of those ones where you had to be there.
 
'For f***s sake'

...when anything doesn't go as it should... particularly work. Erudite to the last syllable, me.
 
i have a tendency to say "thats very postmodern" about anything even marginally ambiguous - regardless of wether it actually is postmodern. and in critiques i mention some element of someone's design or the typography being "sexy" at least once per class.
 
Whenever someone asks me for something I usually say "no" while I proceed to perform whatever it was they had asked for.
 
To my close friends: After a cheesy joke, Ba doom boom boom

Yes, boom at the end, because a friend used to think the cha was a boom!
 
"I'm better now"

"I don't give a f*** I'll do it"

"Jebus Xavier Christ!"

Whenever I get in a car and I'm not driving:

"*Destination* cabbie, step on it"

"Uhhhh, you got food there?"

"This is how poor people eat"

I usually add in random semi-truck gear shifting noises while adjusting my belt. And random CB talk on the phone.
 
There are a few in this thread I already do, some others are

Them: "I just had a thought"
Me: "Alert the media!"

And

Them: "I'm hot"
Me: "That's a matter of opinion"

There are quite a few more, I guess I'm a jerk.
 
we rap in the office. when someone says something that has to do with a line in a song we either quote the lyrics or try to rap it. it is pretty funny!
 
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