Some things you always have to say

"That's what she said" or if they have a hot mom "Thats what your mom said last night"

Two good examples from today.
Friend: "Wow Erik, that was amazzzing" (sarcastically)
Me: "That's what she said"
:D

Friend: "It's not that hard" (math problem)
Me: "That's what she said"

A good one versus rival soccer team
Opponent yelling to his team: "KEEP IT IN!" (as in the ball)
Me: "That's what she said"
 
Whenever someone (close) says "God knows", I always reply with "No, I don't". Similarly I answer to all "God!" or "Oh my god!" outbursts with a "Yes...?". Annoys the hell out of my girlfriend. :D

Oh, and whenever my mum asks me something (ie. nags me about something, the way only mothers can) I formally reply with "Yes, Mother". And we all know I don't mean it, at all, and will never do it. :)

Then, regardless of the weekday, I always say "Have a nice weekend" when leaving work. It actually boggles my mind that even after years of doing it, the same people have to stop and actually figure out if it really is the weekend or not...
 
I go through spells of having 'catchphases' – statements that I say repeatedly, without realising I'm doing so until the words have left my lips and it's too late.

At the moment I'm saying 'Good stuff' a lot, and I now cringe every time I hear myself utter those words... :eek:
 
I say an odd thought.
The other person looks at me weird, or will say something that tries to hide their inner opinion of me,
and I will reply, "It's okay. If it's any consolation, I think I'm weird/lame, too."
 
dynamicv said:
When my partner asks for any money I owe him for bills, I always hand it over whilst saying "There you go darling. Buy yourself something nice." in an East London accent.

He absolutely hates it :p :D
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Call him a boyfriend/fiancé/husband would you!:p

It's too bad you're a Brit, cuz that line would get you off the hook over here in the States.:p
Jaffa Cake said:
I go through spells of having 'catchphases' – statements that I say repeatedly, without realising I'm doing so until the words have left my lips and it's too late.

At the moment I'm saying 'Good stuff' a lot, and I now cringe every time I hear myself utter those words... :eek:
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I do the same thing! Cycles of words/phrases that fade in and out.

Darn it Jaffa, now I'm going to be saying "good stuff" for a solid week.:mad::D

skunk said:
So do a lot of doctors, professionals and experts.
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Don't forget lawyers (I don't think they're professional, expert, or have any morals :p).
 
I also have a habit of adding the word "asterisk" after a false or bent statement, whether it be one of mine or someone else's.

For example:

"Yeah, Lisa and I are pretty close. We're sort of going out."
Me: "Asterisk."
 
iMacZealot said:
I also have a habit of adding the word "asterisk" after a false or bent statement, whether it be one of mine or someone else's.

For example:

"Yeah, Lisa and I are pretty close. We're sort of going out."
Me: "Asterisk."
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Someone's been reading too many contracts!:p
 
Oh, I also have great fun using this similar literary device frequently used by Dr. Kelso on Scrubs:

"Sorry, but we can't afford a new computer for the second floor because I have to go to that medical boondoggle in Cleveland. And by "medical boondoggle", I mean golf weekend. And by "Cleveland", I mean Hawaii."
"Now excuse me. I have to take my bus to the airport. And by "bus", I mean helicopter."
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