Wo installing some kind of LAN analyzer you can ball-park gauge your WIFI speed (most likely bottleneck) by timing how long it takes to transfer files between the two, one way stop-watching step6 of iTunes library sync, and also looking at Mac's Activity Monitor during remote connection. Because WIFI is (1)a shared medium, and (2)Influenced by environmental variables, you have minimum control as it automatically provides you the largest bandwidth available subject to those 2 conditions. Only thing under your control, if your WIFI router has any kind of QOS setting.
I tried FREE VNC Windows -> Mac and this is under ethernet and the speed is unusable, I dunno if the paid version is better. Am using OSX built-in Remote Desktop Connection, not sure if this exists under IOS.
