Surprised Customer Says Penis Pills Don't Work

craigdawg

macrumors 6502
Original poster
Mar 8, 2004
360
0
Sactown
Life lesson #452: Be happy with what you got.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A New Jersey man has filed a false advertising lawsuit against a maker of herbal penis enlargement pills, alleging the medicine does not fulfill its promises, the plaintiff's lawyer said on Monday...

...Coluzzi's attorney, Stephen DeNittis, said many men had been taken in by dubious claims that the product would add up to 3 inches (7.5 cm) to their penises by "very, very convincing" advertising, such as infomercials featuring doctors and porn stars.
Doctors and porn stars--strange bedfellows no? :p

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=583&e=2&u=/nm/20050215/od_nm/life_enlargers_dc
 

jsw

Moderator emeritus
Mar 16, 2004
22,819
41
Andover, MA
The guy apparently didn't read the fine print - you're supposed to tape the vial of pills to the end of, well, the item to be enhanced. Presumably, the vials come in various heights, up to 3".
 

Sun Baked

macrumors G5
May 19, 2002
14,874
57
I wonder if he also fell for Slick50 scam earlier about keeping you engine from wearing and the PlatinumHoney you stick in your tank to get better gas mileage. :rolleyes:

Maybe I should send him an e-mail claiming I can get his money back plus a whole lot more, for a miserly fee of $599.95 -- anyone think he'll bite?
 

clayj

macrumors 604
Jan 14, 2005
7,473
180
visiting from downstream
I hope he wins a large enough judgment to put the purveyors of enlargement pills out of business. Sure, he's dumb to think they'd work, but they are advertising a product that doesn't do what it says.* Spam is bad enough, but spam that LIES? Even worse.

* Before anyone wises off, let me add the following disclaimer: "So I've heard. I have no desire to use anything like this." :rolleyes:
 

KCK

macrumors regular
Jul 31, 2003
121
0
Oakland, CA
Sun Baked said:
I wonder if he also fell for Slick50 scam earlier about keeping you engine from wearing and the PlatinumHoney you stick in your tank to get better gas mileage. :rolleyes:

Maybe I should send him an e-mail claiming I can get his money back plus a whole lot more, for a miserly fee of $599.95 -- anyone think he'll bite?
Probably better to send him an email saying you are the financial minister of some small african nation and you need his help to get 25 million dollars out of your country :)
 

Apple Hobo

macrumors 6502a
Mar 19, 2004
795
0
A series of tubes
This guy is dumb enough to get suckered by a dubious dong enlargement product, but he's smart enough to get a lawyer and sue? Maybe lawyers are too easy to get. :rolleyes:
 

KCK

macrumors regular
Jul 31, 2003
121
0
Oakland, CA
Apple Hobo said:
This guy is dumb enough to get suckered by a dubious dong enlargement product, but he's smart enough to get a lawyer and sue? Maybe lawyers are too easy to get. :rolleyes:
Yea and he is also admitting to the world that he has a small dong and he was dumb enough to fall for the idea that a pill could make it bigger :)
 

inlimbo

macrumors 6502
Jan 29, 2005
411
0
Sydney, Australia
ha ha ha!!! I can't believe poeple are so stupid. :rolleyes:

Tell him u also have a magic pill that will consolidate his debt, increase his breast size, shed kilos off his weight and give him a free iPod. :p
 

wdlove

macrumors P6
Oct 20, 2002
16,570
0
I get several of these a week. They are just deleted. They sadly depend on those that feel inadequate. There is one born every minute. :D
 

puckhead193

macrumors G3
May 25, 2004
9,210
432
NY
KCK said:
Yea and he is also admitting to the world that he has a small dong and he was dumb enough to fall for the idea that a pill could make it bigger :)

LMAO.....well that's the end to his dating career :rolleyes:
 

jtgotsjets

macrumors 6502
May 20, 2004
486
0
Lawrence, KS
You know, it's possible that this guy is smarter than all of you.

Seems like he had a win/win situation. Take some pills long enough to sue for some big money, or failing that, end up with a larger member.

Why didn't I think of this?
 

jsw

Moderator emeritus
Mar 16, 2004
22,819
41
Andover, MA
musicpyrite said:
:rolleyes:

Someone was bound to file a lawsuit about penis enlargement pills.
If he wins, do you think he'll get a big head? Or do you think his case will come up short? Hopefully, at the very least, the spammers will get a stiff fine, if not hard time.
 

Inspector Lee

macrumors 6502a
Jan 24, 2004
590
0
East Lansing, MI
jtgotsjets said:
You know, it's possible that this guy is smarter than all of you.

Seems like he had a win/win situation. Take some pills long enough to sue for some big money, or failing that, end up with a larger member.

Why didn't I think of this?
What this guy probably isn't saying is these pills caused him to sprout massive breasts. And he plays racquetball twice a week and is going through more duct tape than a...

Who are we gonna sue next, the weatherman? Blah... It is people like this who need to disappear in black sedans at 3 AM.
 

Sun Baked

macrumors G5
May 19, 2002
14,874
57
absolut_mac said:
By filing the law suit he's letting the whole world know how inadequately equipped he is to satisfy any potential date :eek:
John Wayne Bobbit needs somebody to take the humiliation away from him.

Of course you know you're famous for trivial reasons when you are finally included in one of the Trivial Pursuit editions.
 

altair

macrumors regular
Nov 22, 2002
221
0
Seattle, WA
jtgotsjets said:
You know, it's possible that this guy is smarter than all of you.

Seems like he had a win/win situation. Take some pills long enough to sue for some big money, or failing that, end up with a larger member.

Why didn't I think of this?
Thats what i was thinking. Bet he just figured it would be an easy way to make a buck or two and sue someone for false advertising.
 

musicpyrite

macrumors 68000
Jan 6, 2004
1,639
0
Cape Cod
jsw said:
If he wins, do you think he'll get a big head? Or do you think his case will come up short?
omg.... i hope you didn't mean that the way i think you did.... :D

Hopefully, at the very least, the spammers will get a stiff fine, if not hard time.
sort of OT but i don't really see why people complain about spam so much? :confused: I get less than a dozen unwanted emails per week, and i have 4 email address. (all for different things of course) and none of those emails are about penis enlargement or viagra or nigerian ebay phishers.

but i wouldn't mind someone getting hard time for spam. it is a pain when i have to see other people deal with... and when i get blamed for it :mad: (log story, don't ask)
 

xsedrinam

macrumors 601
Oct 21, 2004
4,348
1
musicpyrite said:
:rolleyes:

Someone was bound to file a lawsuit about penis enlargement pills.
If it ever makes it in to a court room, Prosecution's argument won't stand up.
X
 

Lord Blackadder

macrumors G5
May 7, 2004
13,523
2,558
Sod off
jsw said:
If he wins, do you think he'll get a big head? Or do you think his case will come up short? Hopefully, at the very least, the spammers will get a stiff fine, if not hard time.
Friends, this is what happens when you read too many testicle threads.... :D

Pretty soon we'll be setting up a "Genitalia News" forum, at this rate. LOL.
 

rueyeet

macrumors 65816
Jun 10, 2003
1,070
0
MD
clayjohanson said:
Spam is bad enough, but spam that LIES? Even worse.
You mean there's spam that tells the truth? Now THAT would be something.

jsw said:
If he wins, do you think he'll get a big head? Or do you think his case will come up short? Hopefully, at the very least, the spammers will get a stiff fine, if not hard time.
Personally, I think the whole thing's just nuts. :D