So I got a completely unexpected gift from my wife tonight - a complete kit to assemble your own swiss army knife. Very cool idea - in theory - more on that later.
Kit with the assembly instructions. Note the assembly instructions don't really account for the fact that of the four pins that hold everything together, only two are alike. Three have the same length, but one is barely thinner, and the fourth pin is both shorter and thinner. The instructions also don't account for any of the little washers:
My wife actually got me a different set of extra scales, the silver tech ones which I intend to use (also comes with a duplicate of the large blade in the kit, this one just says it was self-assembled but I just used the regular blade in the kit):
So I sit down to assemble it, which is really a three hand job when you figure there are 3-4 main pins that hold everything together and a couple springs (not springs in the traditional sense, but rather long metal pieces under tension, see the 4th and 5th pieces from the left, two pics up from here) - usually you need to hold everything in place around 2-3 of the pins and then push against the spring and snap a tool in against the spring under tension where the last pin is. Not to mention you are playing with knife blades here. Nonetheless, I managed to get everything together myself.
So I get everything together, and notice the last outermost layer of metal doesn't seem to go together that well. I figure maybe I just need to muscle it into place when I put the scales on, so I grab those and start to do that, when I realize that the pin heads simply don't align with the designated holes for them in the scales. I look closer, and realize that the already somewhat poorly detailed instructions actually mistakenly have the two outermost metal layers drawn in the mirror image of how they are supposed to be, so the scales will never be able to be installed. So I take the whole thing apart, and then attempt the mind-bending assembly not only as a mirror image of what's on the instruction card but also trying to install it with the pins pointing up (as I don't have enough hands to hold the pins in place to install everything horizontally "into the page" as laid out on the card) and building the knife "up" into the sky.
So after like 2.5 total hours - embarrassing as I am an engineer - I have the knife back together, correctly this time. Everything seems to have gone together well and the tools all open and close with the familiar snap that they should. However, now it seems so obvious but I wasn't thinking ahead - the pins are far too long for the assembled knife. Not only that, they are also pointed on one end.
The brass pins need to be cut to size for this knife before the scales can be put on and the knife can be completed:
Baffled, I look at every piece of documentation and in the corner of the instruction card there is a QR code and it says visit the Victorinox website to find a store to assemble the knife. WTF? And then I look on the flap of the box when you open it up and it says "Make an appointment and build your personal companion for life."
This is my finished product, for now:
So you sell me a build your own swiss army knife kit that I can't build myself, and have to go to the store and make an appointment to finish building? Pretty disappointed, to be honest. There's no reason they couldn't have just cut the pins in the kit to the correct length for this knife, since this isn't some universal kit where you can build any kind of knife, it's a specific model (Spartan I believe but I will verify later once complete).
My wife did an awesome job picking this out as we both thought this was a super cool idea. But the crappy-ass instructions and the fact I can't actually build it myself pretty much defeat the purpose. It was also more expensive than a normal Spartan. For what it's worth my wife did comment to the guy at the store when she bought it that the instructions didn't seem to be the most detailed, and he said there should be a YouTube video somewhere of the installation, which I never found. Clearly the guy at the store also didn't realize I am supposed to build this knife at their store...
-Grade of A for wife's idea
-Grade of A for idea of a kit to build your own knife and getting to see how it all goes together
-Grade of C- for poor instructions
-Grade of D- for making a build yourself kit you can't actually build yourself