Here's what I do on my MBP:
One iTunes library located on my MBP internal hard drive. All of my music resides on my internal HD. I put all of my videos in a folder on my external HD.
Whenever I want to add videos, I do this:
1. Go to iTunes > Preferences, Advanced, then disable the option to copy files to the iTunes Music Library when adding to iTunes.
2. Drag my videos to iTunes from my external drive.
3. Re-enable the option I disabled in Step 1.
This way your videos stay on your external drive, but also appear in your iTunes library. If your external drive is not present when you open iTunes, the videos will still show up in your library, you just won't be able to play them until you hook up to the external again.
Hope it helps!