On the Mac, make sure you and your Husband each have your own User Accounts. Make sure your Address Book (calendar, etc) on the Mac is configured exactly as you want them to be.
You should then set up, each your own, unique iCloud identities, and sync your Contacts, Calendar, Notes, and whatever else is applicable. No need to actually sync them to the Mac. This way, whatever changes you make, is pushed to all your devices > Mac, iPad, iPhone, etc.
On Your iPads, you would log into the App/iTunes store with the identical Apple ID, so that you would not have to purchase twice any Apps/music. It is only your iCloud identities/email addresses that would be unique to each of you. This way, you would both have your own Contacts, Calendar, Notes, and whatever else you select for iCloud syncing.