Thanksgiving Prep

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by caseycicada, Oct 9, 2014.

  1. caseycicada macrumors member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2014
    #1
    It has been customary for my husband and I to go to either of our Parents' houses for Thanksgiving. But this year, I really want to have thanksgiving at our house, just my husband and I. Is this permissible? I can just hear my mother saying, "Your father might not be here for next Thanksgiving, and you want that to be his last impression of you??"

    This is her typical response to things like this. My husband's parents are much more relaxed, but they always hope for us to join them on the holidays.

    For the record, I am NOT the kind of person who will happily defy my parents... never have been.

    Not sure what I'm asking here, but I just want to have a Thanksgiving with my Husband, in our house.
     
  2. 12vElectronics macrumors 68040

    12vElectronics

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2013
    Location:
    California
    #2
    Maybe do both? Have a Thanksgiving lunch with your husband and a late Thanksgiving dinner with your family or vice versa?
     
  3. sviato macrumors 68020

    sviato

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2010
    Location:
    HR 9038 A
    #3
    Something something family holiday. I'm sitting out this year too though. Everything will be okay.
     
  4. Tomorrow macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2008
    Location:
    Always a day away
    #4
    Good Lord, if you're a married adult looking for permission from your parents to choose your dining companion for a day, you've lost the war years ago.

    Have Thanksgiving when and how you like. If you have a good relationship with your parents and would like to keep it that way, continue to visit them when you see fit. If you miss Thanksgiving and see them on a different occasion, I say no harm done.
     
  5. 12vElectronics macrumors 68040

    12vElectronics

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2013
    Location:
    California
    #5
    At the end of the day, regardless how old you are, most parents still view their kids as their babys. I'm a grown male and anytime me and my father disagree, it still eats at me inside. I respect his opinions and feelings alot. :)
     
  6. Tomorrow macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2008
    Location:
    Always a day away
    #6
    Respecting someone's feelings is admirable. Your father can - and should - extend to you the same courtesy.

    Seeking daddy's permission to dine with your spouse when you're an adult is something that makes no sense to me.
     
  7. 12vElectronics macrumors 68040

    12vElectronics

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2013
    Location:
    California
    #7
    I agree that requiring permission is a tad bit extreme.. As with anything, compromise and finding a middle ground is usually best.
     
  8. Jessica Lares macrumors G3

    Jessica Lares

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Location:
    Near Dallas, Texas, USA
    #8
    Don't let your mother make you feel bad. First of all, it's a holiday that is still about two months away. Second of all, you're an adult, and you're married. She needs to understand that you need to have as much respect towards your husband, as much as you still have to respect her as your mother.

    It is perfectly OKAY to have a quiet dinner between just the people who live in your household, even if it's just your significant other. You'd be surprised at how many people don't go to big huge family get togethers anymore and just have a nice meal. That has been the case with our family for at least 10 years now and for every holiday.

    My mom once told me that it doesn't have to be a holiday to show your gratitude towards others and that random acts of kindness are better.

    It would be another story if your mother was alone.
     
  9. woodywoodz Suspended

    woodywoodz

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Location:
    NewYork
    #9
    Is it too early? I'm still waiting for Halloween :D
     
  10. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Location:
    Boston
    #10
    I think its permissible to do what ever you want.

    I've done the just the two of us type of thing in the past, now that we have kids, we frequently do the family gig.

    Having dinner then visiting afterwards is always an options as well.
     
  11. 12vElectronics macrumors 68040

    12vElectronics

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2013
    Location:
    California
    #11
    Only 49 days including today and Thanksgiving day in the calculation :D
     
  12. vulcanvillalta macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    May 19, 2014
    #12
    It's difficult to please everybody, and you never will succeed. I say that you should do what YOU want to do. If your parents would like to spend time with you, it should mutually be their efforts to make that happen. They should come to have lunch with you and your husband on Thanksgiving; that would be nice. And then maybe go to his parent's house for Black Friday dinner?
     
  13. MICHAELSD macrumors 68040

    MICHAELSD

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Location:
    NJ
    #13
    Far too early. This thread should be about Halloween prep ;).



    Have you considered inviting both parents to your house for dinner?
     
  14. woodywoodz Suspended

    woodywoodz

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Location:
    NewYork
    #14
    nope, I plan to hold a costume ball with my friends that night. I think they may have their own activity :D
     
  15. Apple fanboy macrumors Core

    Apple fanboy

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Location:
    Behind the Lens, UK
    #15
    I can't relate to Thanksgiving Dinners (cause what's all that about?). But I remember we used to have similar issues in my house at Christmas.
    Both mine and my wife's parents were divorced and that meant you couldn't do Christmas lunch with all of them. Also we live around 3 hours away from my parents, and 1-2 from my wife's.
    As nobody had room to put us up, I used to spend 6 hours a day driving. One year there was s mix up with the visiting times, and both my parents got it into their heads we were having Chritmas lunch with them.
    After our daughter was born (the first grandchild) it got even worse. When she got to about three, I said enough is enough. Your welcome to join us for Christmas, but I won't be spending it driving, as it's not fair for her.
    My wife's mum passed away 6 years ago, and we don't ever see her dad (his choice). So my mum and dad visit us on separate days, but generally we have Christmas Day at home alone.
    Family's are complicated. But ultimately you can't please everybody all the time, and nor should you try. Your imeadiate family is your wife now. Your parents should understand.
    My dad would always lay a guilt trip on us, but that's his problem not ours.
     
  16. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Location:
    Boston
    #16
    When it comes to your extended family, i.e., inlaws and extended family, you never will. I'd not look to doing the holidays with that in mind as well. It should be more about what's important to you and your immediate family. Not what your mother/father or mother-in-law or father-in-law wants because you'll drive yourself crazy trying to please everyone.
     
  17. 997.2 macrumors regular

    997.2

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Location:
    Knoxvegas
  18. 12vElectronics macrumors 68040

    12vElectronics

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2013
    Location:
    California
    #18
    Slow down there sparky.
     
  19. Apple fanboy macrumors Core

    Apple fanboy

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Location:
    Behind the Lens, UK
    #19
    What did you think this was men only? It's not some elitist golf club you know!
    We have a number of them in the top 50 posters.
     
  20. localoid macrumors 68020

    localoid

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2007
    Location:
    America's Third World
    #20
    Nonsense. Rule #30 of the Rules of the Internet clearly states that "There are NO girls on the internet."
     
  21. 997.2 macrumors regular

    997.2

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Location:
    Knoxvegas
    #21

    Agreed
     
  22. dianestory2 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2014
    #22
    I'm a girl on the internet...
     
  23. localoid macrumors 68020

    localoid

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2007
    Location:
    America's Third World
    #23
    Well, the rules say that the Internet is a place where men are men, the women are also men, and children are FBI agents.

    But if you are indeed a true exception to the rule, to cope with the paradox that there are no girls on the Internet you probably should watch this informative video, The Girl's Guide to the Internet.

     
  24. dianestory2 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2014
    #24
    That is very informative. I think my username gives it away that I am a woman. I will have to change it to something else, and pose as a male to disguise the fact that I am not a woman. :p thanks, boys.
     
  25. localoid macrumors 68020

    localoid

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2007
    Location:
    America's Third World
    #25
    All kidding aside, MacRumors is one of the more "bright and well-lighted" places in Cyberspace, so I doubt you'd run into any serious problems here. :D
     

Share This Page