The Best Spam I've Ever Gotten

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by beatsme, Oct 5, 2006.

  1. beatsme macrumors 65816


    Oct 6, 2005
    this is rather long, but I had to post it because it was so well done...

    From: Jerome Lewis Esq.

    The inspiration to contact you is simply divine providence, I am making this proposition because I have to seek the partnership of a resource person to help me realize this project.

    I am Jerome Lewis Esq. a solicitor and investment consultant based in London, United Kingdom. I was attending a business luncheon in Berlin, Germany and I got introduced to the renowned German businessman and property mogul, Mr. Andreas Schranner(of the blessed memory).

    He engaged my services as attorney and investment consultant and my primary assignment was to spearhead his investment forays in the United Kingdom. Three months later I invited him to London and under my professional guidance and based on my advice he made a fixed deposit of 30,000,000,00EUR at with security companies in Germany and Netherlands.

    This deposit was for 12months and upon maturity I made effort to contact my client, I could not reach him or any member of his family. I was forced to travel to Germany and there I got the tragic news that on July 25TH, 2000, my client Mr. Andreas Schranner, his wife Maria, their daughter Erich and husband Christina and their two children perished in the Air France Concorde New York bound flight; please click here:

    I have made effort to locate any member of his family with strong biological links to my late client without success. The search to find a close relation is one that has consumed time and resources. The institution is asking me to either present a next of kin to late Andreas Schranner or forfeit the deposit. My proposal is to you as next of kin to late Andreas Schranner and process the deposit and collect the deposits for our mutual benefit.

    My capacity as solicitor/investment consultant to my late client gives me the discretion to package and transfer the deposit to you.

    I will give you 30% for your effort, 60% for me and 10% for Charity and Tsunami Victims. It will amount to injustice if I do not take this decisive step to secure this deposit, and invest it The late Schranner was also a friend in addition to our business relationship.

    I will wait for your reaction and response and then together we can jump start this project and nurture it to reality.

    Please, make sure you respond through this my confidential email address:

    Your swift response is anticipated.

    Yours faithfully

    Jerome Lewis Esq.
  2. CEAbiscuit macrumors 6502a


    Jun 28, 2006
    The Kitchen
    The 419 scam lives on... amazing. It's been around for decades.
  3. MacBoobsPro macrumors 603


    Jan 10, 2006
    Wow. Mr Lewis is one hell of a genealogist! Just like all the others. I like the concorde bit though. Funny as hell!

    Also I am apparently related to a Nigerian who died in a Diamond mine and hes left me $20m. I think i'll pick it up next time Im visiting Auntie Mdungpoo.
  4. iGary Guest


    May 26, 2004
    Randy's House
    I get some serious spam. Nearly 30 a day.
  5. jdechko macrumors 68040

    Jul 1, 2004
    Man, you are one lucky guy, beatsme. :rolleyes:

    Just a couple of things ...

    Wouldn't it be 30.000.000,00EUR as they use "." in place of "," and "," in place of "." for numbers?

    Also, wouldn't he have said 25th July 2000?

    If he's from London, as he claims to be. (I know, it's a scam).
  6. beatsme thread starter macrumors 65816


    Oct 6, 2005
    I know, right? They put so much thought into it, with the weblink and the very nearly proper grammar. This is really expert-level bullsh*t ;)
  7. extraextra macrumors 68000


    Jun 29, 2006
  8. obeygiant macrumors 68040


    Jan 14, 2002
    totally cool
    is that for real? how do you know hes not telling the truth?
  9. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Jul 4, 2004
    No London-based solicitor would spell 'realise' with a 'z' nor would they use such a piece of ugly language as:

    'I was attending a business luncheon in Berlin, Germany and I got introduced to the renowned German businessman...'

    Got introduced? :rolleyes:

    There's nothing 'expert' about this at all.
  10. pianoman macrumors 68000


    May 31, 2006
    i use Gmail so it filters out my spam into a different folder which i don't generally look at (only occasionally if i am waiting for an e-mail that hasn't arrived will i check there). very infrequently do i get an e-mail that made it past the spam filter but if i don't know who it is from i don't open it. it's as simple as that.
  11. notjustjay macrumors 603


    Sep 19, 2003
    Canada, eh?
    I think the best one I ever got was this one (I posted it on my blog, I liked it so much):

    The URL link was COMPLETELY obviously bogus. Some scammer must have been having a really bad hair day.
  12. iGary Guest


    May 26, 2004
    Randy's House
    Unless they send me a letter, I don't do crap.
  13. Diavilo1 macrumors member

    Apr 12, 2005
    Nasty nasty stuff. A client of mine recently recorded 97,000 messages caught in their spam filter that I set them up wiht in a 24 hour period of time. They have about 25 users and it equated to about 600MB of data. Craziness.
  14. MacBoobsPro macrumors 603


    Jan 10, 2006
    Ive had two letters in the post :eek:

    Because I am a 'successful entrepeneur' they chose me to deposit funds in my account to hold on to for a year. I could use it as long as there was no less than 90% left at the end of the year. $900,000 I spent! :rolleyes:
  15. iGary Guest


    May 26, 2004
    Randy's House
    Spamsieve is a great app. I used to spend all day looking at my inbox, and now, only stuff I really need to look at comes through. It's just about dead accurate.
  16. vanzskater272 macrumors regular

    Aug 10, 2006
    omg your the next of kin to late Andreas Schranner. your gonna be rich. :D
  17. Silencio macrumors 68020


    Jul 18, 2002
    I need to track down the spam message I received sometime back in 1998 entitled "Walk where Jesus walked":

    "Hi. This is Reverend Jerry Falwell, and I invite you to visit Liberty University" or some such crap like that. So on top of all the other unredeeming qualities of the guy, he's also a spammer! :rolleyes:
  18. erickkoch macrumors 6502a

    Jan 13, 2003
    I got some spam from Yasser Arafats' widow asking me to help her get access to her dead husbands money. Wish I'd saved it. I love hearing how I'm a "person of good reputation."
  19. iAlan macrumors 65816


    Dec 11, 2002
    Location: Location:

    I am lucky I don't get spam :)

    Oh, wait - that means I am not a 'person of good reputation" :(
  20. notjustjay macrumors 603


    Sep 19, 2003
    Canada, eh?
    Of course. But the fact that they not only mis-spelled TD Canada Trust, but also mixed up references to both TD and PayPal (these scammers must all use the same form letters), make it all the funnier.

    And, of course, I'm not even a TD customer.
  21. Queso Suspended

    Mar 4, 2006
    I know I shouldn't have laughed, but that comment is hilarious :D :D
  22. yg17 macrumors G5


    Aug 1, 2004
    St. Louis, MO
    The funniest one I've ever gotten had to be one for Cialis:

    You alw@ys wanted to use your penis as a billiards cue.
    Our Soft Cialis Tabs can help you fulfill your dreams.
    The fashion of newest creation – the further is ejaculation.
    Soft Cialis Tabs will help you to be very fashionable.

    url removed

    Did you know th@t st@t1stic$ say that sex makes you look 12 years y0unger.
    Don’t y0u wanna look 50 at the age of 62?
    If you have any problems with sex,
    Soft Viagra tabs can definitely help you.
    My name is Erectile Dysfunction.
    I have a lot of friends such us: bad sex, awful mood, dissatisfied wife, short erections and spoiled condoms.
    But I do have one enemy – its name is Soft Cialis Tabs.
    When they appear, I disappear.
    Do you want to do something useful in your life?
    Advice your friend Soft Cialis Tabs for the best erection.
  23. MrSmith macrumors 68040


    Nov 27, 2003
    Which would be...not given enough attention during the moulding phase?
  24. tartankisses macrumors newbie

    Oct 7, 2006

    well Beatsme, this must mean that we are related as i got the exact same email, where do they get peoples details from? how silly do they think people are?
  25. Sesshi macrumors G3


    Jun 3, 2006
    One Nation Under Gordon
    I never even thought about it. But I want to now!

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