The thought of your mother dying...

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by waloshin, Feb 13, 2010.

  1. waloshin macrumors 68040

    waloshin

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    Oct 9, 2008
    #1
    The thought of your mother dying or anyone else you love likely hurts, hurts alot. Never seeing them again.

    So what causes the feeling of hurt? Is it Empathy?
     
  2. flopticalcube macrumors G4

    flopticalcube

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    #2
    I have thought about this a lot, since my mother died last July. Its partly empathy but for me was probably more a selfish thing. Its not the thought that they would never get to see me but that I would no longer get to see them. There is also the fact that it drives home the realization of your own mortality. Its a strange thing that many of us are so ill-prepared for an event that will most likely occur more than once in our own lifetime (death of a loved one) and is 100% guaranteed to occur to ourselves.
     
  3. SilentPanda Moderator emeritus

    SilentPanda

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    #3
    It's not empathy I don't think. Empathy is being able to feel another persons feelings or emotions...
     
  4. spinnerlys Guest

    spinnerlys

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    #4
    It's the loss of the person you will never see again that hurts.

    Seeing being the broad term here as in talking, smelling, feeling, listening, touching, arguing, being angry about, .... .
    Empathy is a part of it though, the realization (if it comes) that the dying person also comes to the conclusion, that s/he will not ever see you and all the others again.

    I lost both of my parents, my mother died in a car accident while I was 14 and unconscious, and my father died in a hospital.
    And still I can not really come to rest with that, even though I was not really on good terms with my parents. Sometimes it takes longer than one can think.
     
  5. Jaro65 macrumors 68040

    Jaro65

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    #5
    Part of that has likely to do with the fact that we in part identify ourselves with the people we associate with. They help us define who we are. When one of these people is gone from our lives, it is as though a part of us has disappeared. The closer the person is to you, the bigger the impact.

    I liked the way this process was outlined in Vivekananda's Raja Yoga. Vivekananda was suggesting that rather than feeling a remorse over the passing of our closed one, we should be happy and thankful that we had an opportunity to meet this person and spend some precious moments of our life with him/her.
     
  6. xlii macrumors 68000

    xlii

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  7. forcefieldkid macrumors 6502

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    Jan 20, 2010
    #7
    Very strange thread to see on here, not sure if I was shocked or not to glance the title.

    I lost my mother quite young, at 8, and with also having a volatile relationship with my dad, it's lead to me feeling lost at certain points in my life (26 now). I wonder alot how different things would have been if she'd been around, and I've definitely missed out on having that strong feminine presence through alot of things growing up. So I guess to reply to the OP, yes that worry of losing someone close to you is scary, and wholly justified as it can be devastating.
     
  8. robbieduncan Moderator emeritus

    robbieduncan

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    London
    #8
    You have a model of the world in your mind. How it works, how it's all connected etc. If something major changes and the model is no longer correct then you have to alter that model quickly. That is not easy. Small changes are absorbed, but big changes shatter it.

    I think that's the pain.
     
  9. stubeeef macrumors 68030

    stubeeef

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    Aug 10, 2004
    #9
    My father died when I was 9, my stepfather died when I was 18. The thought of losing my mother is so hard and hurtful I always push it away if it pops in my head. The truth is I may pass first anyway, and I know how that would hurt her because I have 3 children. I know some members here that have lost a child-I can't pretend to imagine that pain.
    My mother has busted her tail for us for so long that all I want is good for her for as long as possible.
    The thought of losing my mother is unimaginably painful....
     
  10. SpaceKitty macrumors 68040

    SpaceKitty

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    #10
    ...and dreams. I dream about my mom almost every night. I have had lots of dreams where she just comes home and starts doing things like she always did. Neither of us has an explanation in the dreams of why she just came home.

    I love those dreams because i still get to hear her voice and talk to her. She was my best friend.

    Losing her was the hardest thing I ever had to go through, my dad was the second.
     
  11. toolbox macrumors 68020

    toolbox

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    #11
    It scares me ********. But dying is a fact of life. I feel very very furtunate that i still have both my parents they have been married 25 years. I still have both my grand parents.

    Mum has helped me through the Bad times in the last few years. She Goes over and above her duties to help me day to day. I am more closer to her then dad. But i love them as equals. My Grand parents too.
     
  12. Jaro65 macrumors 68040

    Jaro65

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    #12
    Enjoy as much time with them as you can...while you can.
     
  13. toolbox macrumors 68020

    toolbox

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    #13
    ^^ i do, i spend more time up there then i to in my own home.
     
  14. andalusia macrumors 68030

    andalusia

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    #14
    What is it with you and your threads?... :rolleyes:

    The answer is obvious, many people have said it and you even stated it in your post. 'Never seeing them again.' That's why it hurts.
     
  15. waloshin thread starter macrumors 68040

    waloshin

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    Oct 9, 2008
    #15
    But what emotion/part of the brain triggers that feeling?
     
  16. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2003
    #16
    Now you're ****ing weirding me out. Threads about your mom dying and how you feel, do I look like this psycho and 'How is Dexter a sociopath if…'. I fully expect to see video of you on the nightly news this week.
     

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  17. andalusia macrumors 68030

    andalusia

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    Location:
    Manchester, UK
    #17
    I think he posts, just because he can.

    Twitter would be more suitable.
     

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