I don’t want it to. I want power/loaded features and a small screen. Not here for a $300 iPhone mini that will be subpar on arrival.
Subpar? You're forgetting these run iOS not Android, by definition only a few small handful of features are missing between the top of the line iPhone and the lowest on the product line. You'll also notice the same with hardware features that are enabled by such software features. Again this isn't an Android phone we're talking about here - very few of those follow this mantra.