Two Deaths, One Crazy Week


macrumors regular
Original poster
Jan 8, 2005
Columbia, SC
Hi, I've had a pretty eventful week and was looking for some support. I was wondering if anyone here on the forums had been through any similar experiences, and what they learned, etc. Let me start off by describing myself so that you will be able to better understand my situation: I am 16 and am a junior in high school. I am an all A's student, and don't have to study for it. I run cross country and track. I don't get in trouble very often, but do take risks (sometimes major) at times. I feel I have many friends, but it's all relative. I think that is enough about me...

So starting Friday, August 10th, here's what has happened:

Friday - At night one of my best female friends, Ashley, was in a bad car accident. She was a passenger in a car that collided with a stalled car on the freeway. Shortly afterward another car hit them, and knocked her unconscious. The car was on fire when a man stopped and literally ripped her seatbelt and pulled her to safety before the car burst into flames. Everyone else in the car got out with minor injuries, but she had a broken femur, head trauma, and various other broken bones.
Saturday - I found out about this accident in the morning. That evening a gathering was scheduled for all her friends to make "Get Well" signs, etc. I attended.
Sunday - At about 3PM I was leaving my neighborhood. I pulled completely onto the road when a motorcycle plowed into the back of my uncle's Mercedes which I was borrowing. Apparently the driver of the motorcycle had been driving erratically and had passed many cars on the two-lane road. I live on the section where it turns into one lane. He tried to pass me on the left (where oncoming traffic would normally be, but there was none) but missed by a few feet. I immediately stopped my car and many authorities soon came. There was a passenger on the cycle as well, a girl of 19. She had a helmet on but it literally cracked into two pieces and died soon afterwards. The man escaped with moderate injuries but will soon be charged with a felony DUI for driving under the influence.
About two hours after the accident I went to the hospital to visit my female friend who had gotten into the accident Friday night. Apparently her condition had worsened.
Monday - A fairly normal day. I skipped the first half of the school day, my mom said I "needed the rest". I did go in the afternoon, however. That evening I again visited my friend at the hospital. She seemed to be doing better, however she was still in a coma.
Teusday - Things took a turn for the worst. I went to school and visited Ashley (the friend in the hospital) afterwards. Doctors said her brain had begun to swell and that she would probably die. Everyone was devestated.
Wednesday - I went to school but left in the middle of class to go to the hospital. Ashley died at 11:50AM. Everyone stuck together for a while and then parted ways to go home. I was with friends throughout the day. Tonight I finally found the obituary of the woman who was killed in my accident. She was only 19, went to a nearby highschool, was very beautiful, and had a daughter.

So, that's been my life for the last few days. I think I have learned a lot and will continue to do so in the coming weeks. Some interesting facts:

1) I haven't cried yet. At all. This is probably a strange thing, although I'm sure many would attribute it to shock, etc. It is also probably a bad thing. I know I am keeping my emotions inside but haven't found a time in which I feel comfortable letting them out.
2) Although this hasn't increased my desires to be an aetheist, it surely hasn't increased my love for Chrisianity. To tell you the truth, I am probably one of the weakes "Christians" possible. I feel I "believe" only because there could be a God, and it is more of a safety net. I know God is supposed to work in mysterious ways, but it is hard for me to see how these two beautiful young girls' lives could be destined to end in such ways. Were they really born solely to come to this point? This isn't my only argument against religion, but it is one of my newest. I won't talk about my other reasons here, not because I don't want to, but because I don't think anyone would be all that interested.
3) My friend who died actually liked me as more than a friend. I had "denied" her (I only wanted to be friends) long ago, and now feel bad as she never had a boyfriend before she passed away.
4) Someone, I'm geussing her family, has set up a small "memorial" to the woman who was killed in the motorcycle accident. I approve of it, obviously, but it is a strange feeling to pass by the spot where she died everyday coming out of my neighborhood.
5) I think I will send flowers to the family but will not attend the funeral (of the woman killed in the cycle accident). I am attending Ashley's.

If you have read my entire story, I really appreciate it. More than anything else, typing all of this up has helped me grasp a timeline for what has happened. If you any feedback regarding anything I would be very grateful to read it. If you have any questions or a desire for more info on something I left out, you can respond as well. I would be happy to answer any questions and am open to everything.



macrumors regular
Feb 7, 2005
Los Angeles, CA
I read your entire post. It is a very sad and tragic times for you and your friends. I don't know what to yell you. And nothing I say can cheer you up, however, I do know that you will cry at some point and it is completely natural and will make you feel better.

Best wishes to you and the two families.


macrumors 68020
Jun 13, 2005
You're dealing with more than anyone should have to, and you seem to have a really balanced head on your shoulders. Don't take for granted who you are -- your post makes you seem very even and strong.

Not crying isn't strange -- it's normal. Emotions (including feelings of blankness) stretch far beyond tears. Going through a crisis of faith -- especialy at a time like this -- is also normal. I hope it doesn't remove a major pillar of support for you, because I'm sure you need all the support you can find.

Please talk to the counselor at your high school. S/he's likely thinking about you more than you'd believe.

All my best to you. Know that you'll find people here who will listen and provide whatever support they can.