Understanding Yourself

[Shaun.P]

You may find what I am going to write below a bit weird, but it's how I feel, and I could really do with some thoughts, comments and advice from other people.

I'm 19 years old, work part-time and I am a full time student at Uni. I'm going to find it very hard to say what I am trying to say, but I'm hoping some people can relate and understand to some degree.

Below, I'm just going to list some statements which overall contribute to how I am feeling.

I feel as if I don't know myself. I find it hard to express myself - using words (I'm not a cold person though). I find it hard to list things I like and dislike - if you were to ask me what my favourite food, or film was I would find it extremely difficult. I am extremely indecisive. Half the time I don't know how I feel out anything. I feel my life is extremely boring and has too much routine. I would like to get in touch with myself a bit more - become more introspective... I don't know what I'm trying to say here... I'm just want to know myself better.

When I was younger, I used to be very creative, writing and drawing and flowing with ideas. Now, I'm 19, older, more mature and I feel I have no new ideas, writing and drawing seem difficult and pointless to me. I feel like I've lost touch on who I am, or rather who I was. I am happy with how my life is at the moment, I have never really lots of friends before like I do now etc, but it worries me somewhat that I don't know who I am.

I don't know if any of you have ever felt the way I feel. I have been looking on a lot of peoples' MySpace and Bebo (I know a lot of you detest those websites - forgive me!) and these websites always get you to explain a bit about yourself. I don't know what to write... it's worrying.

If you look at someone's random MySpace:

"A lot of changes have happened to me this year, i'd like to think all good ones aswell. and i would consider myself extremely lucky to have the people i have around me and to have had the oppertunities to snatch that i have.


I'm an optimist, as dreary and nippy as that can be, i cant be any other way. i dislike it when people think it is a good thing to think the worse in order to not be disappointed. i am rarely disappointed because if something goes wrong i usually end up doing something else just as good.


i sit an art course at the moment and i think its become my new passion to just make a mess all day, i love the feeling of creativity and i wish i could CREATE every day.

my friends will tell you i love everything, want to try everything..and am phased by absolutely nothing."

That person sounds as if they know themselves. I could never write anything like that about myself because I feel as I don't know who I am.

I know this post might seem a bit weird, but I'm just looking for some advice - I feel like a shallow person and I want to become much deeper.

Thanks for any advice,

Shaun

 

[Blue Velvet]

But this thread is an attempt to dig a little deeper... give things time. Life's experiences add richness and complexity to people's characters.

Testing yourself is a sure way to find out more about what makes you tick. Take some risks; don't be complacent. Try to do something new every day. Throw yourself into something which consumes you; you may get burned but you'll also have the scars.

 

[SMM]

Many great people, especially creative ones, have had periods in their life when they struggled with this same thing. Hemmingway is a perfect example. I suspect this is a very common situation for people, but many do not think deep enough to care.

I would not let yourself become overly traumatized by this. You have a life time to find answers to inner questions. There is no 'standard' time for achieving wa. I believe it is important to have some adventure in your life, and I do not mean a short vacation. After graduation, take off for a couple years and go see the world. Go alone. Meet new people and see different cultures. Live like the natives do. When you develop self-reliance, you will know yourself.

 

[TheAnswer]

I think you are dealing with a lot of things that every person does. First off, don't judge your progress in defining yourself in terms of others. Everyone is different and some people just take longer to "find themselves" than others do. So much of what you are experiencing is probably pretty normal.

There are plenty of people who have a good sense of "who they are" and are still "shallow"...often the people who think about things like you are now are often the least shallow. Defining who you are is a life long process, it's the people who decide who they are early on and don't adapt it to new events or surroundings that are the ones in trouble (or if in powerful enough positions just make life harder for others).

It's hard when living the full-time student, part-time work life to remember to take time out for yourself, but do so. Even if you aren't that type of person, make sure you take time to watch movies you might not normally watch, read good books, go to the museum once and a while. There's a book called 101 Things to Do Before You Die, check that out if you run out ideas of new things to try.

 

[Stridder44]

My friend I know very much what you're going through, because Im going through pretty much the same thing. I'm 20, have a part-time job, and am also going to a Uni. I use to draw, write, and create all the time with anything. About 3 years ago I picked up the guitar and trumpet (although I'm kinda slacking on the trumpet). Now drawing bores the crap out of me (unless I'm in class). Writing I rarely do (only some lyrics now though). If I didn't play guitar I'm pretty sure I would have no real way of letting out my inner creative animal.

Im confused as hell about life, who I am, what I'm going to do (I actually have a good idea now though) and how I'm going to do it. For the past 2 years I've been trying to understand how I effect people and what I might be doing wrong (like any personality flaws of mine). I've been doing a lot of reading on it, and am getting places little by little. But it's all very daunting and can really make motivation a problem sometimes.

So don't worry, you're not alone. I'm pretty sure a large percentage of college kids are very confused, feel lost, or are even depressed a little (and might not know it).

 

[Stridder44]

I think you are dealing with a lot of things that every person does. First off, don't judge your progress in defining yourself in terms of others. Everyone is different and some people just take longer to "find themselves" than others do. So much of what you are experiencing is probably pretty normal.

There are plenty of people who have a good sense of "who they are" and are still "shallow"...often the people who think about things like you are now are often the least shallow. Defining who you are is a life long process, it's the people who decide who they are early on and don't adapt it to new events or surroundings that are the ones in trouble (or if in powerful enough positions just make life harder for others).

It's hard when living the full-time student, part-time work life to remember to take time out for yourself, but do so. Even if you aren't that type of person, make sure you take time to watch movies you might not normally watch, read good books, go to the museum once and a while. There's a book called 101 Things to Do Before You Die, check that out if you run out ideas of new things to try.

Well said. Bears repeating.