The definitions for various malware types are accurate, even in an imperfect world, and even if some people are unaware of those definitions. Flashback is a trojan. It does not replicate itself, which is one of the two primary characteristics of a virus. The Flashback trojan is completely avoidable by prudent user action. That is not true for viruses.
There's nothing "messy" about 1s and 0s, and everything is very strait forward, even if the user may not understand why things work the way they do. Computers do exactly what programming tells them to do, even if it's something the user doesn't want or expect or understand.
It's not a combination. If it doesn't meet the two basic requirements, it's not a virus.
As for being cautious, go back and read my first post in this thread. Nothing about it suggests that you shouldn't be cautious. Practicing safe computing assumes that you're not inherently safe and that you need to take steps to protect your computer from malware. I've listed those steps in that post.
That's not why those terms are used. It has nothing to do with "scary" or condoms. If you don't know why those terms are used, you could benefit from some additional learning.
No, it's about benefitting the user by informing them of the facts. Educating them about facts is a much better way to serve them, rather than simply conforming to the user's uninformed thinking and language.
Again, re-read that first post. There is nothing in it that suggests playing ignorant and assuming safety. It does recommend the common sense and cautious approach of practicing safe computing and gives specific steps for doing so.
Ads, while annoying, are not inherently dangerous. Just because a website has many ads does not indicate the presence or likelihood of malware. Also, there are many other vectors through which malware can be introduced to a computer, beyond emails or ads. If you want to help users, I recommend you spend some time gaining an understanding of malware as it relates to Macs, so you'll stop giving them misinformation. Reading the 3rd post in this thread, along with the FAQ that's linked there is a good way to start.