I guess at this point I'm convinced it doesn't exist. None of the big online retailers or well known manufacturers have shown me what I'm looking for. Before I settle for less, I'm hanging onto the hope that someone, somewhere has captured and tamed this beast in the wild. The description is as such: Network attached storage, wired to router, that supports remote access to files. Really like the Seagate BlackArmor NAS 110 http://www.seagate.com/www/en-us/products/network_storage/blackarmor/blackarmor_nas_110/, since it has built in remote access support, but it lacks faster connections, esata and firewire, for the times I would like to use it as a scratch disk. Also, can't really change out the drive. Plus there's only one, so no RAID. Next for consideration was one of OWC's Mercury arrays, http://eshop.macsales.com/shop/hard-drives/RAID/Desktop/, because it has USB, eSata, and Firewire. This thing is pretty baller, but its not a NAS. The four bays are nice, but I'd really only need two. If these two products could magically fuse into one, I could quit my search. I'd be happy with a two drive bay, remote access capable, USB, eSata, firewire, NAS enclosure. Is that really too much to ask for? I definitely don't need server grade rack mounts. What do you sexperts say? Is there such a beast to satisfy my tastes?