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Was this tacky?

luminosity

luminosity

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jan 10, 2006
1,364
0
Arizona
So, my mother's birthday is tomorrow. My family went out to dinner tonight to mark the occasion (easier for us to be together on a Tuesday evening). We went to a favorite place for such times. It's not a black tie place by any means, but it's pretty nice and a certain level of decorum is involved in dining there, or so I had always assumed. I've been going there with my family a few times in a year for as long as I can remember.

Anyway, a little while after my family sat down and started eating some appetizers, another family sat down near us. Like my group, they also had five people, but two of them were young children. Unlike most families that I've ever seen (though I suspect I may not get out enough and my tale is more common than I previously thought), they had a dining table accessory in the form of a portable DVD player. I have attached a handy image to see for yourself:

Family.jpg


Not only did they play the DVD for most of the time they were sitting down (they left when we did), but it was on rather loudly, and must have been a distraction for anyone sitting near to them. It was to us, at least.

We all thought it was tacky in the extreme, but maybe we're behind the times. What do you think?
 
Unfortunately, rather than teach their kids some manners while in public, or leaving the unruly kids at home with a sitter, the chose to have the DVD player babysit them. Perhaps, with headphones, it might not distract other diners. It was however, without headphones, in poor taste/rude.
 
Ntombi said:
Very tacky! I would have expected the hostess/manager/maître d' to have said something.
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We learned before we left that they raised the ambient music level and asked them to turn the DVD player down. I'd have to say that it was definitely loudest early on, when I had to interrupt something I was saying because of cartoon tire screeching.
 
That is terrible. The lack of consideration that some people have for others in public places always blows my mind. The restaurant never should have allowed them to do that (and they shouldn't be doing it in the first place). If you intend to go out and you're kids can't handle it you need to hire a babysitter, not purchase a DVD player and take them with you disrupting others enjoyment of their meal.
 
tacky for a nice restaurant
.
i also think it is one thing if its like a in honor of an Anniversary DVD or something, but if its like the Kid's dinner entertainment, then:mad:.
 
That's terrible. I would've told one of the restaurant workers to tell them to shut it off. I can't understand how one of the restaurant workers didn't take care of that situation by themselves without being prompted. What sort of restaurant is this? Is it a giant chain restaurant? Is it a small local place owned by a family? I just can't imagine this happening at any restaurant that's not affiliated with a roach motel.
 
luminosity said:
We learned before we left that they raised the ambient music level and asked them to turn the DVD player down. I'd have to say that it was definitely loudest early on, when I had to interrupt something I was saying because of cartoon tire screeching.
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I would have found that unacceptable and would have at least talked with my family about leaving if they weren't set straight or asked to leave. That's ridiculous.


I adore children, but part of parenting is teaching them how to behave appropriately in various settings. Those adults failed, and the restaurant allowed their failure to infringe on others' enjoyment of an evening out.



BTW, hope your mother had a nice birthday celebration, regardless. :)
 
eawmp1 said:
Unfortunately, rather than teach their kids some manners while in public, or leaving the unruly kids at home with a sitter, the chose to have the DVD player babysit them. Perhaps, with headphones, it might not distract other diners. It was however, without headphones, in poor taste/rude.
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I would say it was tacky, rude, in poor taste regardless of headphones. That is a major parenting fail.
 
motulist said:
That's terrible. I would've told one of the restaurant workers to tell them to shut it off. I can't understand how one of the restaurant workers didn't take care of that situation by themselves without being prompted. What sort of restaurant is this? Is it a giant chain restaurant? Is it a small local place owned by a family? I just can't imagine this happening at any restaurant that's not affiliated with a roach motel.
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It's a local place, definitely not a chain (the sports memorabilia covering the walls is almost certainly worth millions of dollars). They specialize in very good steak and ribs, and the menu is not cheap (not super expensive, but classy overall). The explanation given for allowing them to continue leaving the DVD player on is that they prefer the kids to be quiet than to make a fuss.

BTW, hope your mother had a nice birthday celebration, regardless.

Thank you :). I believe she did.
 
very tacky indeed. i would've walked over and told them"I paid to celebrate my mother's birthday here so could you please turn down the volume on the dvd player" If they didn't stop after that, ask the waiter/waitress to see the manager. A restaurant has the right to kick patrons out.
 
Wow. Very tacky. I see the daughter is already in proper training for cell phone use during dinner and at the table. Major failure on the part of the parents. I probably would've stared in disbelief.
 
spaceboots06 said:
You should have made a sarcastic comment.

"Why don't you just wheel in the home theater for your bratty kids?"
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Brilliant. We managed not to say anything to them, but if we had said anything, that would have been an excellent offering. Aside from the expert cellphone use on the girl's part, what I find most interesting is that despite being in the middle of eating, the DVD was still going strong.
 
luminosity said:
Brilliant. We managed not to say anything to them, but if we had said anything, that would have been an excellent offering. Aside from the expert cellphone use on the girl's part, what I find most interesting is that despite being in the middle of eating, the DVD was still going strong.
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To my New York sensibilities, you seem so restrained! Are you originally from Minnesota or thereabouts?
 
motulist said:
To my New York sensibilities, you seem so restrained! Are you originally from Minnesota or thereabouts?
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I'm actually a native of the Phoenix area. However, my paternal grandfather was a native New Yorker, and would have been apopleptic at the sight and sound of that DVD player going. To say that there would have been a major scene would be like observing something about the sun coming up and all that.
 
After thinking for a few minutes I've come to the conclusion that this family is dysfunctional. Firstly, having a television on at home may be acceptable, but a family communicates less when it's on.

Having a child watching a DVD in a restaurant is both isolating for the child because that media player will attract its attention more than a discussion with a family (even just listening to parents talk isn't exactly a bad thing) and it's basically trying to get the kid to shut up.

This is actually pretty disgusting, you should have questioned their parenting.
 
luminosity said:
I'm actually a native of the Phoenix area. However, my paternal grandfather was a native New Yorker, and would have been apopleptic at the sight and sound of that DVD player going. To say that there would have been a major scene would be like observing something about the sun coming up and all that.
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I can imagine his reaction quite well, because just seeing the photo you posted started to make my blood boil! I don't suffer fools gladly.
 
motulist said:
I can imagine his reaction quite well, because just seeing the photo you posted started to make my blood boil! I don't suffer fools gladly.
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And it doesn't even include sound effects. I think I kept my dad sane, because he was the most bothered of all of us, and being the furthest away from the other family, I still found myself being interrupted occasionally be the sound effects from the DVD, and I ended up just breaking out into laughing fits a few times).

I honestly and truly am trying to figure out what their rationalization(s) must be for doing and allowing all that. Few people are intentionally stupid, so I'm sure there must be some explanation in their minds, however inane.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if the family is dysfuctional. Not that my family has ever been a model of normalcy, or myself for that matter (the furthest thing from at times), but one of my faults (being concerned about what other people think of me) tends to get in the way of something like this being something I'd be involved with.
 
Shocking. Thankfully, as the oldest of 6, my siblings are well behaved. But surely you could have told the waiter to have them turn it off?
 
Beric said:
Shocking. Thankfully, as the oldest of 6, my siblings are well behaved. But surely you could have told the waiter to have them turn it off?
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Management actively declined to do that, choosing instead to turn the restaurant's ambient music up a bit (can't say I noticed) and did ask them to turn the volume down (which I did notice in retrospect).
 
Extremely tacky and poor taste.

If you can't find a babysitter and/or your children cannot sit still long enough to enjoy a nice dinner, you shouldn't be eating out and ruining other's dining experiences.
 
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