Was this tacky?

[heehee]

Is it really, though? I ask that seriously, just so there's no misunderstanding.

Now everyone can rate my picture via Failblog:

http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=4946640

Yes I think it's alot better than kids running around in a restaurant. I really don't care how they teach their kids. But guess what will happen if a waiter/waitress carrying 3 hot plates trips over a kid running in circles? The parent will blame the waiter/waitress.

Back to the original question. I think it's super duper tacky. But there will always be something you don't approve of. It's best to ignore it otherwise it'll drive you nuts.

 

[motulist]

It's best to ignore it otherwise it'll drive you nuts.

ooorr, or you can stand up for yourself and stop letting people wrongly impose things on you that you don't like. As the serenity prayer goes;

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

So you're right if we were talking about getting upset when the price of stamps goes up, because there's nothing you can do about that. But when when parents are letting their kids make a very obnoxious interruption in your ability to enjoy your dinner in a privately-owned semi-upscale restaurant, then that definitely falls into the category of things that you CAN change. In fact, I see it as a moral duty. To sit there and just try to ignore it gives the parents encouragement and tacit approval that their actions are acceptable.

 

[heehee]

ooorr, or you can stand up for yourself and stop letting people wrongly impose things on you that you don't like. As the serenity prayer goes;



So you're right if we were talking about getting upset when the price of stamps goes up, because there's nothing you can do about that. But when when parents are letting their kids make a very obnoxious interruption in your ability to enjoy your dinner in a privately-owned semi-upscale restaurant, then that definitely falls into the category of things that you CAN change. In fact, I see it as a moral duty. To sit there and just try to ignore it gives the parents encouragement and tacit approval that their actions are acceptable.

i don't have or want to tell someone how to be parents. There will always be idiots around you. What's the point in telling someone off when you will see them for a few minutes and not ever again? If it's your friends, family, coworkers, yes there is a point in saying something. But I don't want to waste my energy on people I don't know.

 

[motulist]

What's the point in telling someone off when you will see them for a few minutes and not ever again?

Firstly, no one said to go right to "telling them off", you start with a polite request for them to stop the disturbing, impolite behavior, and only elevate the aggressiveness of your requests if they fail to respond. Secondly, the reason for doing this is because it will make the hour you spend near them much more pleasant for you, and because it's the right thing to do as a member of a community.

 

[rhsgolfer33]

i don't have or want to tell someone how to be parents. There will always be idiots around you. What's the point in telling someone off when you will see them for a few minutes and not ever again? If it's your friends, family, coworkers, yes there is a point in saying something. But I don't want to waste my energy on people I don't know.

They're being disruptive and rude in an environment in which that behavior shouldn't be accepted. You're in no way telling someone how to be a parent, you're telling them how to respect others around them and how not to be a ****ing clueless tool. You don't use a DVD player to entertain your children at a restaurant; it shouldn't be accepted by the waitstaff or management, and if they aren't willing to take action to maintain an enjoyable dinning experience for reasonable paying customers, then you just have to use your own people skills to fix the situation.

 

[wywern209]

They're being disruptive and rude in an environment in which that behavior shouldn't be accepted. You're in no way telling someone how to be a parent, you're telling them how to respect others around them and how not to be a ****ing clueless tool. You don't use a DVD player to entertain your children at a restaurant; it shouldn't be accepted by the waitstaff or management, and if they aren't willing to take action to maintain an enjoyable dinning experience for reasonable paying customers, then you just have to use your own people skills to fix the situation.

I use dvd player karate chopping skills. are those acceptable?

 

[heehee]

They're being disruptive and rude in an environment in which that behavior shouldn't be accepted. You're in no way telling someone how to be a parent, you're telling them how to respect others around them and how not to be a ****ing clueless tool. You don't use a DVD player to entertain your children at a restaurant; it shouldn't be accepted by the waitstaff or management, and if they aren't willing to take action to maintain an enjoyable dinning experience for reasonable paying customers, then you just have to use your own people skills to fix the situation.

I use dvd player karate chopping skills. are those acceptable?

What do you mean by "your own people skills"? Like this guy?

 

[mscriv]

I've actually taken toys from kids who were running around with them. I told the parents they'd get their toy back when either they or I left.

I will ask the parents nicely to quiet their kids down one time, after that I get progressively more rude. If I have to ask more than three times I start using profanity, when they comment that they don't want their kids hearing that language I tell them I'll stop using it when they get their kids to shut up.

Good for you man! I applaud your actions. I've never gone that far, but I've never had too. Normally my aggressive talks to the parents take care of the problem, but if it persisted then I think your actions are a fully justified and reasonable next step.

Firstly, no one said to go right to "telling them off", you start with a polite request for them to stop the disturbing, impolite behavior, and only elevate the aggressiveness of your requests if they fail to respond. Secondly, the reason for doing this is because it will make the hour you spend near them much more pleasant for you, and because it's the right thing to do as a member of a community.

They're being disruptive and rude in an environment in which that behavior shouldn't be accepted. You're in no way telling someone how to be a parent, you're telling them how to respect others around them and how not to be a ****ing clueless tool. You don't use a DVD player to entertain your children at a restaurant; it shouldn't be accepted by the waitstaff or management, and if they aren't willing to take action to maintain an enjoyable dinning experience for reasonable paying customers, then you just have to use your own people skills to fix the situation.

I expect I'll probably get jumped, but I think you guys are being a little harsh. I'm not defending the family and definitely don't agree with parents that do not properly manage their children in public. But, seriously, the double standard/selfishness I'm hearing in this thread is disconcerting. Whatever happened to being a part of a community and working together with those around you.

Is a DVD player on a table (if it's at a reasonable volume level) any different than a large group of patrons talking and enjoying themselves. I mean, really think about it. I'm a staunch advocate for cell phone etiquette and it used to really fire me up when I would see someone using a cell phone in public (like a restaurant). Then I stopped to honestly think about it. What's the real difference or the impact on me between them talking on the cell phone at their table or talking to a friend who was actually having lunch with them. None. There's no difference in how it affects me or the volume level of their conversation and thus, the problem of irritation was on my end, not theirs. And, I have the ability to control myself and how I feel about things. So, I chose to stop being annoyed by this.

It's kind of like HeeHee is saying. It's silly to get worked up about something like that when you really have no control over it. Or do you (no one in specific) really think that going off on someone or being rude "back to them" is going to actually change their behavior? "You know I didn't realize (blank) until that kind person cussed me out and made such a scene in that public place. I'm really going to change (blank)". Believe me folks, that's not how it works. They actually leave the situation only strengthened in their view/behavior and think that you are the "rude" one who is out of line for addressing them in such a manner.

I guess I'm just saying there's a difference between standing up for yourself if someone is crossing your boundaries and believing that the world revolves around you and everything must be to your exact liking. There's got to be a little give and take here, especially when it comes to public places. I mean, after all, they are public.

 

[trule]

Do you have kids? Do the rest of you have kids?

Perhaps both parents work and the kids are in day care or school and they just want to take a break one evening at a nicer restaurant together, but they know their kids are not up to the task, so they take a distraction for them. Sure it might bother other people, but they did turn the volume down as soon as they were aware it was too loud.

Its not easy, kids ain't gonna learn sitting at home...

I would say get some tolerance into your life. Worse things can happen.

And it doesn't even include sound effects. I think I kept my dad sane, because he was the most bothered of all of us, and being the furthest away from the other family, I still found myself being interrupted occasionally be the sound effects from the DVD, and I ended up just breaking out into laughing fits a few times).

I honestly and truly am trying to figure out what their rationalization(s) must be for doing and allowing all that. Few people are intentionally stupid, so I'm sure there must be some explanation in their minds, however inane.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if the family is dysfuctional. Not that my family has ever been a model of normalcy, or myself for that matter (the furthest thing from at times), but one of my faults (being concerned about what other people think of me) tends to get in the way of something like this being something I'd be involved with.

 

[trule]

I have ... I stop ... I just want ... I don't mind ... What bothers me ... I've actually taken ... I told ... I left.

I will ask ... I get ... If I have ... I start ... I tell them I'll stop

I would ask ... I find ...

To summarise, "its all about ME"

You want a career in diplomacy, you're not very good at it, but it might be safer for you in the long run

 

[LumbermanSVO]

I guess I must be an oddball then. I go about my business in public quietly and and try to stay out of other peoples way. I was raised that way and find it extremely rude to disturb other people just because I feel like being loud.

My parents had 4 kids, all within 4 years (I'm a twin) and we managed to go out and not disturb other people. We knew that if we did we would have to answer to dad, never a pleasant thing. There are also some really crazy things they did, like if we went for fast food they would have us pick out our food while sitting at a table then THEY would go order it instead of holding up the whole line waiting for us to figure out what we wanted. Crazy, just crazy!

I generally don't mind a little bit of noise as long as it is reasonable. I don't mind gadgets either, again, as long as the volume is reasonable. But just plain rudely loud noise and kids bumping into the table? That is unacceptable. The few times that I've taken objects from kids the parents actually supported my actions. I guess they must not have wanted to do it themselves. Great parenting right there.

I also found that asking the wait staff gets nothing accomplished. Asking the offenders nicely rarely gets any results, if it worked I would stop right there.

I also have a daughter, she will be three years old soon. When I am out with her and she becomes loud I remove her from the restaurant. Not as a punishment to her, but out of courtesy to the other patrons. Once she is quiet again we go back in. We don't use gadgets to pacify her either. We also understand that there is only so long a kid can be still/quiet and time our visits accordingly. If my daughter is having a day where a trip to someplace quiet wont work then we don't take her, even if it means we aren't going to go out at all. Now that right there is just NUTS!

 

[mscriv]

I guess I must be an oddball then. I go about my business in public quietly and and try to stay out of other peoples way. ....

Thank your for better explaining. In all honesty, your first post kinda scared me. Your not an oddball at all, you are someone who is conscientious about being respectful of others in public. I think that's commendable and that we should all be that way.

I get concerned when righteous indignation is people's first response or emotional reaction to something that intrudes upon them or does not go "their way". My dad always told me that "my freedom ends where someone else's begins". In an ever isolating society I just believe it's important that we try to recapture the essence and spirit of community as opposed to thinking of ourselves first.

 

[maddor1]

yes, extremely tacky!

 

[caligurl]

tacky.... rude... and horrible parenting!!!!!!

 

[OutThere]

Do you have kids? Do the rest of you have kids?

Perhaps both parents work and the kids are in day care or school and they just want to take a break one evening at a nicer restaurant together, but they know their kids are not up to the task, so they take a distraction for them.

Get. A. Babysitter.

 

[conch575]

That's a bit strange, but think, would you rather have screaming kids or a DVD playing?

I think it's rude that the volume was up so loud though. Some people need to be more considerate!