What about this:

Here are my (I'm supposing) completely realistic MWNY '02 projections:

Steve will be wearing a "Jobsian Black" turtleneck, complete with brand new blue jeans, promptly walk over and grab one of those nifty water bottles (see iPod intro movie for what I'm talking about) and start drinking.

iTunes 3, Cocoa, with ACTUAL OS X WIDGETS!, the ability to change the place of the library (from documents to my Library folder,) BATTERY SAVER, of course MP4/AAC, built-in skinning, but only for Apple created skins, and POSSIBLY the ability to, as a visualization, get the Music video, along with information about the song, perhaps.

One more iApp - they've been at (I think) every Macworld since the intro of iMovie - I see iShake - seriously. They can do amazing things at Apple, and they might've gotten the UI framework finished in time for the takeover, or did source-sharing with the intention of a takeover.

Some sort of "iCamera." I know it sounds dumb, but I saw a picture of OS X somewhere, maybe it was in iPhoto, but it just made a logical connection - the iCamera could be among a "showcase" of possible digital lifestyle devices, to which a "cheer-o-meter" or something determines which one gets made.

Jonathon Ive makes a stage appearance to talk about design at Apple, and Phil runs out to spread the propaganda machine, perhaps Avie Tenavian might come on (yay!) and spread the goodness of his NeXT experience with us, or even -- damn, his name escapes me, and it was just there - the hardware "genius," Ack! He was in from the early days, good buddies with Steve, and, of course, developers from Adobe and the sort will be there.

The teleprompter will go out like Amelio's Macworld did where he got Jobs and Woz back on stage and Steve pulled a tantrum and ran. Steve will impress us with his showmanship and continue on like nothing happened, although the enlargement of pupils when he realizes that his pres. is gone will give it all away.

Marker Felt (I think) will be used as the presentation font, as always, with standard two-word titles, and OS X icons throughout.

I'm serious now - I think a 1.4, 1.6 and dual 1.8/2.0 ARE possible, I mean, we all knew a 1 GHz was coming, but on the spur of the moment, and DUAL? A 1.4 is the least a human can expect - it's ONLY 400 MHz, they did (I think, again) 650, 700, dual 867 once, so this would be big. Nice. Big. Happy.

Yeah, 17" iMac.

And, just for pointers, Steve will reveal what the mysterious Minijack on the iBook and iPod is: If you put in a headset connector the first one is left channel, the second is left and the third changes my iBook from NTSC to PAL - I'd be interested if euro models go from PAL to NTSC.. That would lead us on to something.

And, lastly, because now I'm rambling, I feel that (oddly) perhaps a G5 is around the corner, maybe he'll release something like a 1.4 GHz G5, but on a limited run, to see how "brisk" sales are. There's no teaser ad like SF... This could mean they want us to think "bad" of Apple, and get us all going at the last minute.

Oh yeah, one more thing, Apple pulled this trick before with CNET - when SF was coming, they ran a story about a "possible" flat panel iMac (when rumor sites already KNEW this) but I believe it was about a G3 1GHz, or that was Spymac - anyway, CNET did write a bad preview, and two days before corrected it to EXACTLY what came out, down to the letter - it'll be interesting to see what'll happen -- anyone work at TIME, either?

Tell me what you think.

Chris

 

Right.

Sorry 'bout that - I had those numbers floating around, but they didn't quite "click," didn't make sense that Apple would make a mid-range clock speed a dual - a 700, 800, dual 867 would've worked much better for the Pro range. Then again, what's 200-some odd megahertz?