What are your gags?

[iMacZealot]

I have tons of amusing stories I like to tell people.....

Whenever people ask if I have a girlfriend, I say that I do, but she's blind, and doesn't speak English, but it's really, really, true love. We play this game where I sneak up on her, and she makes me chase her.

I have tons more, but I can't think of them all. What are your amusing gags?

 

[livingfortoday]

Mine all have a ball in them.

Edit: Seriously, MR is becoming kinda gross:

 

[Aranince]

Whenever someone says "It was so awesome." I would say "How awesome was it?"

Edit: Ow

 

[Lau]

A friend of mine said he was sitting in a club one night, and all these annoying women were asking him and his friends to dance, and he said "No, I can't dance". They kept on and on at him "Come on, dance". He kept saying, "No, no, I really can't dance". They carried on, and were getting really annoying, and tried to drag him up. "LOOK! I really can't dance." They kept dragging and dragging, and pulled him up and he collapsed to the floor and cried "I told you I couldn't dance!" and started beating the floor in frustration. They were all totally mortified. Really, though, who harasses a stranger to that extent to dance?

 

[alFR]

lol @ lau.

Here's one:

If I had a newt, I'd call him Tiny.




Because he's my newt.