what do you do when you're depressed?

wrc fan

macrumors 65816
Original poster
hey all, i was wondering what you do when you're depressed? i'm feeling really down lately since my girlfriend (of almost 6 years) and i broke up. how do you get her out of your head all the time? it's especially hard since I just now realized I have no friends. i haven't felt this down since i was suicidal in high school (don't worry i'm not feeling suicidal this time), just wondering whats the best way to get back on track. i was thinking of moving to seattle where i went to college to try to start afresh (my business partner lives there), but I won't be able to till May. So what do you suggest doing in the meantime. I need help, I'm listening to songs like "Please don't go girl" by New Kids on the Block! :eek:
 

Lacero

macrumors 604
Jan 20, 2005
6,639
2
Only cure for this type of depression is time. Exercising, such as running half an hour a day makes me feel better. It also clears your mind. I don't think moving is the answer, although moving keeps you distracted but you still need to go through the grieving process.
 
well normally i would have suggested go out with friends but since you said you dont have any, just get out of the house and try to engross your stuff in as many things you can that involves a lot of people even strangers

being alone in your room with your computer will just make you feel even worse!!!
 

Peterkro

macrumors 68020
Aug 17, 2004
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Communard de Londres,Tiocfaidh ár lá
I'm sorry to hear of your predicament oaklandbum.There are no easy answers however try to find someone to talk to,a professional if necessary.My experience is to keep doing things(go for a walk,gym,volunteer to help others).Most people have these experiences in life although they don't usually mention them.Its maybe a time to make bold decisions,remember any experience that doesn't kill you makes you stronger.Go after that dream you always had and remember good friends are better than pocket money.The very best of luck.
 

Chaszmyr

macrumors 601
Aug 9, 2002
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virividox said:
being alone in your room with your computer will just make you feel even worse!!!
Can't stress that enough. Unfortunately, being alone anywhere can be bad. Being around people as much as possible can be really helpful, even if you're not a people person and think you'd rather be at home.
 

Nickygoat

macrumors 6502a
Dec 11, 2004
992
0
London
Sorry to hear that. The others are right - you need to get out. Absorb yourself in something else. Join a soccer club, go to a museum. Your business partners in Seattle? Throw yourself into work. There is, unfortunately, no good answer except time. And please if you have to listen to sad music, don't make it NKOTB. Try something far worse like Joy Division or The Smiths. It will work out :)
 

wrc fan

macrumors 65816
Original poster
i know i should probably stop listening to sad songs and do something... though it's kinda hard to go outside and do stuff at 1:44 in the am. but i can't sleep either. ah, insomnia.

the reason i don't have any friends is cause i left all my friends in seattle and moved down to california for my girlfriend. now i know nobody here, and living in the suburbs there is not much around as to meeting people. where do you meet people in the suburbs? the market? um... what else is around here... churches, hallmark, fast foot resturants, and a scrapbooking store. anyway most people here are at a different stage in their life (raising kids and whatnot).
 

Peterkro

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Aug 17, 2004
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Communard de Londres,Tiocfaidh ár lá
Nickygoat said:
Sorry to hear that. The others are right - you need to get out. Absorb yourself in something else. Join a soccer club, go to a museum. Your business partners in Seattle? Throw yourself into work. There is, unfortunately, no good answer except time. And please if you have to listen to sad music, don't make it NKOTB. Try something far worse like Joy Division or The Smiths. It will work out :)
Leonard Cohen works for me Big Time :D
 

wrc fan

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Nickygoat said:
Sorry to hear that. The others are right - you need to get out. Absorb yourself in something else. Join a soccer club, go to a museum. Your business partners in Seattle? Throw yourself into work. There is, unfortunately, no good answer except time. And please if you have to listen to sad music, don't make it NKOTB. Try something far worse like Joy Division or The Smiths. It will work out :)
I'm so out of shape, I don't think I'd last very long at football (I realise most of you reading now call it football or maybe calcio, fútbol, or um... soccer). And yeah, I met my business partner when I was living in seattle... having a web development business i can live practically anywhere (just need internet access). And don't worry I am not really listening to the new kids on the block over and over. but i did put the song on once. But I am listening to a lot of mellow stuff by Radiohead, The Cure, Travis, and Moby.
 

ravenvii

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Mar 17, 2004
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Melenkurion Skyweir
I know it's really hard to think of any places to meet people when you're alone. I've been in your shoes. The thing I found out is that, it's just that: you just have to be literally out there. It doesn't really matter where. Random stuff happen, and you'll eventually happen to start talking to someone. Maybe it's a girl who bumped into you by mistake on a line. Or maybe it's a bored guy cooking your bagel while you wait. There's a zillion situations like those waiting to happen. And they won't if you just sit in your room all day.

Lonliness really sucks. I know; I've been in your shoes before. Never got suicidal, but it was the darkest moment in my life.
 

wrc fan

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Raven VII said:
I know it's really hard to think of any places to meet people when you're alone. I've been in your shoes. The thing I found out is that, it's just that: you just have to be literally out there. It doesn't really matter where. Random stuff happen, and you'll eventually happen to start talking to someone. Maybe it's a girl who bumped into you by mistake on a line. Or maybe it's a bored guy cooking your bagel while you wait. There's a zillion situations like those waiting to happen. And they won't if you just sit in your room all day.
That's true. But it's really hard to get out when I'm sitting at home working all the time. And I don't have much money to go out and do things either. It's way to early to start thinking about another girl... but I do need to go out to get that chance. Funny how going out can be so hard sometimes.
 

wrc fan

macrumors 65816
Original poster
virividox said:
yeah but you end up listning to sad music, looking at old photes, maybe looking on google for your ex, you really useless unproductive things that dont really make you feel better and get anything accomplished
huh... I hadn't thought of looking for her on google. good idea! :D

j/k. I actually deleted all my saved emails and pictures and chats with her. Well i did back it up and put it on a dvd which i stuck really high up in the closet so it would be hard to get to. Also all pictures of her on my desk and around have been placed in a box in said closet as well.
 

oldschool

macrumors 65816
Sep 30, 2003
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just remember that all you need is to breathe...nothing else.


get into a routine. eat, drink, sleep, breath....theres not much else...


use this time to be alone. if you use it productively and focus your energies into creative endeavors you'll accomplish much more than you would have ever imagined. surprise yourself, and use this to your favor.


good luck...i know what this is like.
 

poopyhead

macrumors 6502a
I went through the exact same thing this summer. I had had the same girlfriend since i was 19 and suddenly I was 25 and all alone. It sucked.

First
I spent several days drinking heavily and making embarrassing phone calls to my ex girlfriend (I dont recommend this approach, it only makes everything worse, although there is nothing like emasculating yourself by crying on a phone drunk)

after a couple of weeks of drunken stupidity and being medicated with crap loads of antidepressants I took up jogging 6 miles a day, reorganized my entire life to get rid of the vestiges of Abbey and managed to lose 60lbs.
I'm still lonely but no longer depressed
exercise and a planned lifestyle change/ reorganization helps
 

wrc fan

macrumors 65816
Original poster
poopyhead said:
I went through the exact same thing this summer. I had had the same girlfriend since i was 19 and suddenly I was 25 and all alone. It sucked.

First
I spent several days drinking heavily and making embarrassing phone calls to my ex girlfriend (I dont recommend this approach, it only makes everything worse, although there is nothing like emasculating yourself by crying on a phone drunk)

after a couple of weeks of drunken stupidity and being medicated with crap loads of antidepressants I took up jogging 6 miles a day, reorganized my entire life to get rid of the vestiges of Abbey and managed to lose 60lbs.
I'm still lonely but no longer depressed
exercise and a planned lifestyle change/ reorganization helps
Woah, that sounds exactly like me, minus one year. I was 18, now 24. I could stand to loose 60lbs. That's rather inspiring. Everyone keeps saying to get more exercise. How do you make yourself do it though?
 

poopyhead

macrumors 6502a
I just got out and did it
i woke up one morning at 4:00
sat arround watching cnn for a few hours and decided I couldnt take it any more
i got in my car and decided to walk at first
just because i couldnt take the tv anymore
I met a lot of people just by walking in the same place at roughly the same time every day

for me exercise was the last resort
everything else had failed

I recently took up cycling about a month ago
i recommend it over walking or jogging
cycling easily becomes a social activity and there is
at least in atlanta
a cycling community that redily accepts newbies
 

wrc fan

macrumors 65816
Original poster
poopyhead said:
I just got out and did it
i woke up one morning at 4:00
sat arround watching cnn for a few hours and decided I couldnt take it any more
i got in my car and decided to walk at first
just because i couldnt take the tv anymore
I met a lot of people just by walking in the same place at roughly the same time every day

for me exercise was the last resort
everything else had failed
hmm... well it's almost 4 now... but I haven't gone to sleep yet. And other people recommended getting a full 8 hours of sleep. I don't think I've done that in a long time.
 

AmigoMac

macrumors 68020
Aug 5, 2003
2,064
0
l'Allemagne
oaklandbum said:
You mean my Dual G5 and aluminium 20" cinema display won't bring happiness?!?!?!? Maybe I need a Mac mini...
:D

that's great!

it could happen that listening reminds you about her, I know that feeling ;), what about taking paper and pencil, you can draw anything and it will help to get out of bad feelings, you don't have to be a Picasso to start but it may help, read geek topics, visit some places like a tourist, take photos, select the best and photoshop them, I can't not say Goo luck because now it's not a matter of luck it's a matter of success and I wish it you.