What has helped pull you through a dark time/depression

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by fox10078, Oct 31, 2012.

  1. fox10078 macrumors 6502


    Nov 6, 2009
    Having a pretty tough time these days, just wondering what some other members have used to help pull them through tough times.
  2. thatoneguy82 macrumors 68000


    Jul 23, 2008
    Beach Cities, CA
    I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat what my answer should be, but it's a realistic response I believe. I've gone through my own share of tough times, really tough to the point where I can't imagine this is happening to me. The first response and instinct I did was of course to drown myself in alcohol and drugs. I did. I knew I wouldn't be addicted, I just wanted to be numb and far away for a while before I dealt with the problem.

    After that, I spoke to family about my issues. I have a really close and supportive family, so that really helps. I talked it out with friends and I started feeling better and letting go of those bad feelings. And, no, there was no addiction to drugs and alcohol. But, they helped me enough to cope in peace for a while before I was ready to face the issue.

    Of course, this is not for everyone. May even be controversial. But, this is what I did or it worked for me.
  3. TRMC13, Oct 31, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2012

    TRMC13 macrumors member

    Oct 20, 2012
    Near-suicidal once when I had a bad break up with a girl I was going to propose to, and after drinking a handle of Captain Morgan a day for a solid week. The only thing that got me through it was my labrador. Now I'm engaged to a far more superior amazing/beautiful/intelligent/incredible woman, so time has it's way of working itself out.
  4. swingerofbirch macrumors 68040

    Oct 24, 2003
    The Amalgamated States of Central North America
    TV helps. Keep the TV on if you're depressed.

    Accepting feeling bad. It's OK for things to be bad. You don't have to force yourself to feel a way that you can't feel.

    Time. The passing of time is so important. Sometimes your only job in life will be just to exist as time passes, and it can be harder than anything else just to exist, but if you do, things do get better. It's not that they don't get worse again. But you can at least know it won't stay the same.

    And if you can get lost for a while, it can help, although I know it's hard. Sometimes I can get lost in a trance doing something. I remember getting depressed and going here: http://www.multiplayertrivia.com to play online trivia and get lost in it.

    I was actually cringing thinking someone would say exercise. I'm sure it does help, but I know from experience it's the last thing you want to hear if you're depressed. You could be the first to try it! I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. Turn on QVC! I think it's as least as good as exercise for depression. :)
  5. einmusiker macrumors 68030


    Apr 26, 2010
    Location: Location:
    been there in the past and am in somewhat of a rut now. I found relief in simplifying my life. I dedicated my life to my instrument, my health and the people I cared about. I got through a very deep depression at that time. I've found myself in another place these days I didn't anticipate and I've realized that it's a result of allowing myself to complicate my life. I am now at the very beginning stages of simplifying again. It's MUCH more difficult this time around because I am older and have more responsibilities. But I believe I can do it again. Simplifying your life just feels like a weight being lifted off your shoulders. I speak from experience FWIW...
  6. JBazz macrumors 6502

    Apr 14, 2006
    Fake it till you feel it.

    I read an experiment that said even forced laughter has mood elevating properties. It still releases endorphins in your brain.


    Try to find reasons to laugh, even if you are not feeling it. Live comedy clubs, TV, movies, etc are good settings to force laughter.

    I know it isn't much, but I do hope it helps. If nothing else, don't be afraid to tell your doctor.
  7. GrandPhrase, Oct 31, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2012

    GrandPhrase macrumors 6502

    Jun 16, 2012
    OP.. Actually I am reluctant to these kinds of admissions, but I too am having a hard time..

    As a previous post mentioned, for things like loneliness I try to keep the TV, music on throughout the night/day even during sleep - it breaks the pain of silence

    I don't really know if this is a treatment, but this is just what I do - it may not ease a whole lot, but at least you can feel something is there for you..
  8. TRMC13 macrumors member

    Oct 20, 2012
    I would argue this is the wrong question if it's directed at getting back on track. Fellowship can be found in many different ways other than religion and I would caution anyone in emotional or mental distress against seeking solace in religion.
  9. Mord macrumors G4


    Aug 24, 2003
    Making sure to eat properly, go outside, see my friends and proactively doing anything that's required to solve whatever problem is getting me down.

    That and MDMA.

    Alcohol has never helped, not even really temporarily, MDMA has often helped me emotionally digest what's on my mind and talk it out with those close to me.
  10. Face Ache macrumors regular

    Face Ache

    Aug 3, 2011
    Animals cannot give consent. You should have found another woman.
  11. roadbloc macrumors G3


    Aug 24, 2009
    Threw myself into my work. Smoked a lot of weed as well but I'm unsure if that helped matters. All in all, I feel keeping your mind distracted and busy helps a lot.

    Speaking to friends about it is also a healthy thing to do.
  12. Shrink macrumors G3


    Feb 26, 2011
    New England, USA
    I usually stay out of threads like this one, but I'm quite concerned about the "drugs and alcohol" suggestions. I understand the idea of numbing pain using drugs and alcohol, but there is a significant risk that drugs (depending on the drug) and alcohol could seriously exacerbate the depression. Also, alcohol acts as a disinhibiter, that is it reduces the capacity to appropriately inhibit self destructive behavior.

    How one copes with depression must be determined by the type and severity of depression.

    A loss (death of a loved one, broken relationship) can often cause an appropriate feeling of depression, which softens with time. Severe feelings of depression without some external referent is of much more concern.

    Most importantly, the severity of the intensity, and duration of the depression, are key variables as to how to handle the bad patch. Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, suicidal ideation or PLANNING, loss of energy, inability to enjoy things that used to be enjoyable...which last more than 2-3 weeks really require some professional attention. Especially thinking about suicide, or thinking about how to kill oneself require immediate attention.

    I'm sorry if it seems that I am pushing seeking professional attention. I'm not saying that anyone needs to rush out to a shrink because one is down in the dumps after a relationship breakup, or some other significant loss. Not all depression is "abnormal". It is, as mentioned above, the severity and duration of the depression that should be the deciding factor.

    I hope those of you who are feeling really crappy ( a technical shrink term) right now feel better soon. I'm not sure drugs and alcohol is the answer, though.
  13. MorphingDragon, Nov 1, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2012

    MorphingDragon macrumors 603


    Mar 27, 2009
    The World Inbetween
    When I have depression and can't talk to someone I try to express the underlying emotion using the arts. I've written more poems than I want to admit.

    Alcohol itself is also a depressant which can exasperate the problem at hand.
  14. iBlue macrumors Core


    Mar 17, 2005
    London, England
    Maybe not but they are "just" chemicals and as such they can be useful tools when used properly. Generally speaking, drugs that bandage problems are only accommodating while you're on them. Alcohol, weed, benzodiazepines, opiates, even antidepressants, they can have their place but rarely add lasting value to one's life.

    On the other hand, some psychedelics and MDMA can be life-changing, permanently, after a single dose. It's a pity they are locked behind red tape and propaganda because they are a very powerful tool for altering your perspective. MDMA is incredibly effective for working through problems, notably ones that are far too traumatic to ponder without emotional breakdown. It needs to be used respectfully because it's not totally harmless but then, what is? Information is harm-reduction.

    Your post isn't inaccurate but I thought I'd give the drugs idea some merit.
  15. einmusiker macrumors 68030


    Apr 26, 2010
    Location: Location:
    good post. But we can't be having people use drugs that actually will cure their problems when pharmaceutical companies make so much money on the drugs that don't work that people have to keep taking /sarcasm
  16. mrsir2009 macrumors 604


    Sep 17, 2009
    Melbourne, Australia
    A while ago I was getting pretty depressed due to a number of little things, and believe-it-or-not changing my diet helped. I used to eat traditionally healthy foods, as in lots of fruit and vegetables, no fat bla bla bla... However now I eat a lot of saturated fat and other things that are traditionally considered 'bad' for you, and don't eat vegetables or anything at all any more. And I feel much better now, both mentally and physically :) The 'problems' that I had are still there I guess, but I simply don't care about them, they seem trivial now (probably were all along hahah). Everyone tells me that my arteries are going to clog up and I'm going to die, but so far so good ;)
  17. Daffodil macrumors 6502


    Jun 7, 2011
    In a sunny state of mind
    For another alternative to conventional antidepressants, there's good evidence to support that cognitive-based therapy is equally effective as meds to treat depression (except in the case of severe MDD). Moreover there's no risk of side effects, and it can improve your life for the better also in other areas in the long-term. Hence I'd echo Shrink in seeking out professional help if you're really struggling with something, OP.

    Another coping strategy I've personally found useful is exercise. Go for a run, lift some weights -- whatever you enjoy -- and it might both help you get a sense of mastery of some aspect of your life, take your mind off things or help you work through them, as well as improve your sleep.
  18. sviato macrumors 68020


    Oct 27, 2010
    HR 9038 A
    Weed helped me a lot. And I don't mean go crazy and smoke all day, once every few weeks or so would suffice (although I would do it more often, 1-2 times a week maybe). I'm not sure what it is but afterwards I just didn't overthink things and generally felt better (and I mean like the days after, not while high lol)
  19. iJohnHenry macrumors P6


    Mar 22, 2008
    On tenterhooks
    Undoubtedly true, but the word you are grasping for is exacerbate. ;)
  20. MorphingDragon macrumors 603


    Mar 27, 2009
    The World Inbetween
    Exacerbate - Make Worse.
    Exasperate - Irritate.

    I'm not budgin! :p
  21. tktaylor1 macrumors 6502a


    Feb 16, 2010
    Nashville, TN
    Ive been through the depression stage, actually still am. Ive been going through it around 4 years now. Its not an easy part of life thats for sure. I won't go through all of the details of what I went through this last time but I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for 10 days. They prescribed me with medication when I got out and thats that. That was around the middle of August, this year.

    I smoked weed to just get away from it all, in fact still do. It really does help but when it wears off you're back to where you started. Another thing that I learned is; do breathing exercises. This helps more than you will ever know. Yoga and meditation helps a lot as well. Ive been doing those three things frequently since I got out of the hospital a few months back. It helps a lot. Guided meditation works wonders for me.

    So, I take medication and I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist.
  22. 4JNA macrumors 68000


    Feb 8, 2006
    looking for trash files
    running. always running. makes tough times easier and everything else better.

    best of luck.
  23. Crawn2003 macrumors 6502

    Jul 8, 2005
    Santa Rosa, California
    Going through a divorce right now, so lots of alcohol and cigarettes. My life's been pretty depressing lately.

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