What if Microsoft and Apple Designed Cars?

Discussion in 'macOS' started by MacManiac777, Apr 25, 2008.

  1. MacManiac777 macrumors member

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    #1
  2. Tallest Skil macrumors P6

    Tallest Skil

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    #2
    I like the 'devastatingly cool' Dashboard bit.
     
  3. amiga macrumors 6502

    amiga

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    #3
    Hehehe that was cool.

    I was hoping that there would be some mock up examples.
     
  4. Tallest Skil macrumors P6

    Tallest Skil

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    #4
    Here you go. Guess which is which.
     
  5. amiga macrumors 6502

    amiga

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    #5
    Hehehe thats exactly the kind of thing I had in mind!
     
  6. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

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    #6
    Yes, yes, if Apple designed cars...

    The only one that costs less than $50,000 would not have a windshield or any other way to know what is on the road in front of it. Apple would market this as a feature, saying "Driving is Random."

    They would spend a decade touting the technological advantages of diesel and then one day switch to gasoline because it is clearly the better "go forward" platform.

    You would have to "Jailbreak" it to be able to open the hood.

    The entire dashboard would be replaced by a gorgeous multitouch interface off of which you would have to clean fingerprint smudges every thirty seven seconds.

    They would release mysterious, partially described updates on a monthly basis that would inevitably be followed by thousand-post threads on the internet, arguing whether 0-60 acceleration was now "snappier."

    Even though the current design would do 0-60 in 3 seconds, 0-100 in 6, and turn on a pinhead, people would criticize you for having not waited for the "version based on the Memron."

    The engine would produce 200 horsepower while getting 35 miles per gallon, but the interior temperature would be 120 degrees Fahrenheit, causing half of the engine to shut down while you try to merge onto the freeway.

    The windshield would make the outside world either look grainy or have horizontal bands running across it.

    The sports coupe edition would have a mysterious modification to the fuel port that would require you to cut off part of the rubber housing on the fuel pump nozzle.

    The Apple car would be available in Nepal before it would be available in Canada.

    The Apple car would have a gorgeous, sleek, polished exterior, but it would scratch extremely easily, causing you to wrap it in a gigantic and ugly rubber cover.

    Apple would sell the car for several decades and receive very little attention until they release a line of extremely popular skateboards with a "Halo effect."

    People would constantly stop you and compliment how cute your car is, but ask why you wouldn't want a car that was compatible with the roads in your country.

    And yes, we'd be waiting in line to buy them anyways. ;) Happy Friday!
     
  7. MacManiac777 thread starter macrumors member

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    #7
    Very funny, I like it. You really hit the nail on the head.

    Actually it's 12.30am Saturday morning here in New Zealand
     
  8. Eraserhead macrumors G4

    Eraserhead

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    #8
    If Apple and Microsoft made cars wouldn't we then make computer analogies to describe them?
     
  9. bamaworks macrumors 6502

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  10. srl7741 macrumors 68020

    srl7741

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    #11
    That was great. Made my Friday.
     
  11. ryannel2003 macrumors 68000

    ryannel2003

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    #12
    You can't use a Toyota Camry as the Microsoft car. Toyota's are reliable and sensible means of transportation...

    When has Microsoft ever been accused of being "reliable" or "sensible"?

    As for Apple's car, it would have to be something of high quality and snob appeal. I'm thinking Mercedes Benz, since they have some of the snobbiest owners of any car available.
     
  12. notjustjay macrumors 603

    notjustjay

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    Canada, eh?
    #13
    People would point and laugh and tell you that they would never buy an Apple car because of how ugly it is... while showing off the third-party accessories they add to their own car like the imitation multi-touch dashboard, the imitation body panels, the ...
     
  13. techlover828 macrumors 68020

    techlover828

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  14. Krafty macrumors 601

    Krafty

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    #15
    Even if you dont drive it? That sucks....
     
  15. CJRhoades macrumors 6502

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    #16
    If microsoft made a car, collision and repair shops would be earning 300% more profit.
     
  16. MacManiac777 thread starter macrumors member

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    #17
    Microsoft: Covered in unnecessary clutter
    [​IMG]

    Apple: Cool yet convertible
    [​IMG]

    I felt that I had to contribute
     
  17. Quillz macrumors 65816

    Quillz

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    #18
    If Microsoft and Apple made cars, I think car accidents would increase exponentially.
     
  18. SkyBell macrumors 604

    SkyBell

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    #19
    Absolutely hilarious, and admittedly true. Thank you for that. :)
     
  19. Eric Lewis macrumors 68020

    Eric Lewis

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    CANADA? eh?
  20. digitalnicotine macrumors 65816

    digitalnicotine

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    #21
    (pushes drink away from computer) I'm so glad I got a keyboard protector. :p
     
  21. TH-Gunner macrumors regular

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    #22
    The microsoft ones I've heard, but the Apple ones weren't part of it. It seems like the latter were just stuck in there.

    Except the microsoft one would cost $254098120458120958 and the Apple one would cost $30k
     
  22. stainlessliquid macrumors 68000

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    Sep 22, 2006
    #23
    PC: cheap, very fast, can easily upgrade everything, ugly, gets bastardized with LED's and other doodads
    [​IMG]

    Mac: expensive, luxurious, fast but not as fast as PC, can only upgrade the wheels, everyone tells you to get insurance
    [​IMG]
     
  23. riscy macrumors 6502a

    riscy

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    #24
    Mac = a decent, stylish car straight out of the showroom, granted, slightly more expensive

    PC = a cheaper alternative that users then spend loads of money on "pimpin' their ride" and it still won't go that much faster, or be more comfortable :)
     
  24. thomasp macrumors 6502a

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    UK
    #25
    Wouldn't Microsoft offer 35 different models of the same car each with a subtly different feature, all costing different amounts, while Apple would offer one car that would cost a lot but would have everything included?
     

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