I like your design, but I think the black keys on an aluminium body look better than white keys on an aluminium body. I think the MBA is one of the nicest Apple laptop designs in their history, if not THE best.
Right now, with the designs so similar, the MBA has the advantage in aesthetics due to the silver bezel. I don't have an objection to black, but it's just too much black!! Aluminium with a black keyboard looks OK, because black adds a nice touch of contrast to an aluminium body. The contrast looks wonderful.
I think the best look would be to use the new MBP shape, but use an aluminium screen bezel, and aluminium (coloured) chicklet keys. The chicklet keys and new taper along the edge gives the MBP an updated look without making it look gaudy. In other words, it would have looked a bit like the old MBP, but with a taper along the edges, and an aluminium chicklet keyboard.